Success story for now !!

[Beneggs]

I thought I'd actually check back in and give an update on how things have ended up since my last post. I remember how I felt and how much this forum helped me when I was going through a rough patch.

 

I'll start off by saying that this post isn't Meant to give false hope to anyone I simply wish to share a little bit of what I have learnt.

 

We got back together on the 11th of June and things have been going extremely well since then. We have both let go of the past and we are more or less back in that honeymoon phase of a relationship.

 

I think it will work out because we have both made huge changes especially me.

 

I think space is the most important thing in this story. I'll admit that I didn't really give her any space at all until the 4-5 month mark. I think the space is important not just for her to miss you but also for yourself to knuckle down and focus on what you needed to change.

 

I think it's important to live your life as if he or she isn't coming back. I feel it's the best way to prepare for the worst and most likely situation. Funnily enough it wasn't until I got back from a date that my ex randomly messaged me to come and pick her up from a concert. We ended up having sex and spending the night together and talked about everything.

 

Now I think we have a real shot at this for a few reasons

 

1. We have both seen other people since the break up.

 

2. I have made massive changes and we have talked about all of our issues and she has decided to forgive me

 

3. A good amount of time has passed and we are both in good places and not getting back together out of desperation.

 

I read a lot of info on no contact and low contact. I ended up doing low contact for the first 4 months or so. Eventually I just abandoned any of the self help relationship advice and just did my own thing and focussed on myself. I would ocassionaly reply if she messaged me and I was always friendly and a little flirty if I was drunk.

 

I think the best lesson is to just let go and trust fate.

 

Anyway I hope this story helps and I'm happy to answer any questions anyone else may have. I'm also happy to offer support because I remember how much this forum helped me.

 

Good luck everyone

[gaig]

How long you stayed absolutely no contact? Did she reach out?

 

Happy for you man, make sure you don't do the same mistake even if Candice Swanapoel is all over you in sexy lingerie after 3 months hiking on Tibet with dudes.

 

You love her, you have an extremely rare second chance, take some time to become stable and then think about the "next step", you know that girl in and out for 7 years..

[Mikeyfreedom]

I thought I'd actually check back in and give an update on how things have ended up since my last post. I remember how I felt and how much this forum helped me when I was going through a rough patch.

 

I'll start off by saying that this post isn't Meant to give false hope to anyone I simply wish to share a little bit of what I have learnt.

 

We got back together on the 11th of June and things have been going extremely well since then. We have both let go of the past and we are more or less back in that honeymoon phase of a relationship.

 

I think it will work out because we have both made huge changes especially me.

 

I think space is the most important thing in this story. I'll admit that I didn't really give her any space at all until the 4-5 month mark. I think the space is important not just for her to miss you but also for yourself to knuckle down and focus on what you needed to change.

 

I think it's important to live your life as if he or she isn't coming back. I feel it's the best way to prepare for the worst and most likely situation. Funnily enough it wasn't until I got back from a date that my ex randomly messaged me to come and pick her up from a concert. We ended up having sex and spending the night together and talked about everything.

 

Now I think we have a real shot at this for a few reasons

 

1. We have both seen other people since the break up.

 

2. I have made massive changes and we have talked about all of our issues and she has decided to forgive me

 

3. A good amount of time has passed and we are both in good places and not getting back together out of desperation.

 

I read a lot of info on no contact and low contact. I ended up doing low contact for the first 4 months or so. Eventually I just abandoned any of the self help relationship advice and just did my own thing and focussed on myself. I would ocassionaly reply if she messaged me and I was always friendly and a little flirty if I was drunk.

 

I think the best lesson is to just let go and trust fate.

 

Anyway I hope this story helps and I'm happy to answer any questions anyone else may have. I'm also happy to offer support because I remember how much this forum helped me.

 

Good luck everyone

 

 

Very happy for you man. And reading that really echoed my situation in a few ways.

 

 

The main point, I completely agree with, is work on yourself. I, like you, did exactly that. I knew if she came back or not I had to do that for myself. I was virtually an alcoholic towards the end of my relationship, I really addressed my issues head on. I think some people almost fool themselves that they have changed, but its more than words in my experience. For me, its total mindset. I live and breathe the changes I made.

 

 

I have been back together with my ex for 7 months and we are getting married now. My life has never been richer and better. 8 Months ago I was staring into the abyss. It goes to show, if you really mean what you say and you really commit to change, ANYTHING is possible. I now truly believe that, because I have proved it.

 

 

Happiness is your own responsibility to maintain. If you can find it in yourself, the rest just follows.

 

 

[Heart..PLS STAHP]

I don't know your story but it sounds touching that you guys are again together. It gives me hope for the future when it's meant to be. Glad that you guys are happy and working it out!

 

You trully are a lucky guy! Some of us never get that chance. Hope you are both happy together and have an amazing future! God Bless!

[tart6245]

How long did you do absolute no contact? My ex and I still discuss a future together, but only after I "fix" myself. I was going through a lot at the end of our relationship back in mid April and really lost myself.

 

I started therapy about a month ago to work through my issues, and I feel like I am finally turning the corner, but I still miss her.

 

I cut contact on June 20 and it lasted 2 weeks. We spoke briefly about a week and a half ago, where she said she wasn't ready to trust me, and we haven't spoken since. She doubted I had fixed myself after 2 weeks of therapy.

 

The breakup was really my fault, but she got angry at me for abandoning her and ended up seeing someone else who she said had nothing to do with me and was just casual. I think that is over now.

 

My intuition says to reach out to her in another week or so, just casually wishing her a good week given I sort of caused the breakup. Good idea in your experience or no?