sdel79 Posted July 5, 2016 Share Posted July 5, 2016 My husband is an alcoholic. Textbook. My story is the same as so many others. I wish I hated him, but I don't. I'm still very much in love with him. How do you walk away? My head knows I have no choice, but my heart keeps whispering "give him one more try" Anybody know how to shut my heart up? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted July 5, 2016 Share Posted July 5, 2016 Anybody know how to shut my heart up? Take your heart to Al-Anon meetings. Many relationships with addicts or alcoholics are codependent and enabling in ways we may not even realize. If this is true for you, you're not doing him any favors with "one more (third? fourth? tenth?) try". Might be time for your own personal version of the Serenity Prayer ... Mr. Lucky 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LastAcorn99 Posted July 5, 2016 Share Posted July 5, 2016 I’m so touched by your love for your husband. Like PP mentioned, i strongly suggest that you contact Al-Anon and get the guidance you need to help your husband. Sending you hugs and prayers. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sdel79 Posted July 5, 2016 Author Share Posted July 5, 2016 Oh, I was an enabler, no doubt, Mr. Lucky. I don't know that al-anon could help. I fear I will be disappointed. I want someone to tell me how to fix it. Why can't you just fix it? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted July 5, 2016 Share Posted July 5, 2016 Oh, I was an enabler, no doubt, Mr. Lucky. I don't know that al-anon could help. I fear I will be disappointed. I want someone to tell me how to fix it. Why can't you just fix it? The only thing you can fix is yourself and you'll need some help to do that, so give al-anon a try. Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
Angelica21 Posted July 6, 2016 Share Posted July 6, 2016 sdel79: So, so sorry about this situation, and sending a lot of sympathy and compassion your way. It's often necessary, and definitely possible, to divorce an alcoholic spouse even though you still love him and you don't want a divorce. Do what you need to do to protect yourself and your children. Alcoholism a.k.a alcohol addiction is quite complex, there have been gazillions of ways that it's been studied, researched and written about. You state a very understandable question: "I want someone to tell me how to fix it. Why can't you just fix it?" I doubt that anyone here on the forum will be able to tell you an answer in the small amount of space for forum messages. You want to try to find the BEST and MOST ACCURATE information about alcoholism. Contact both Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and also Al-Anon for written materials, even if you don't attend the meetings. Some meetings are open meetings where the AA members and the Al-Anon members meet in the same room, and you might find that more informative by listening to the stories of the addicted people and their loved ones. Try to Google the phrase "the best books about alcoholism" or "accurate information about alcohol addiction" or something like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts