Not being able to feel emotions

[SerCay]

Today I had a really long talk with a coach at work.

 

In my line of work, it is expected that we can be 100% open grounded, and ourselves. This is why a lot of companies choose to have new potentials tested.

 

I was tested.

The outcome was hard and painful, but I knew it already. Just never knew how to deal with it or what to do.

 

I come from a disfunctional family, and I have a coping mechanism, which only allows me to feel either extreme sadness or extreme anger, so the ends of the spectrum. Other than that, I am always in a happy mindset. This brings with that I don't have, or do not know how, to show my "authentic self".

 

I am a social chameleon and there are a couple people that see the true me. I have been told that I am picture perfect, but someting is missing and I come across as perfect, yet plastic. In different words, by different people and in different job interviews.

 

It is not that I don't WANT to show my true self, I just don't know how, and I do not have the feelings that normal people have. When I am supposed to have a feeling, such as anger, or disappointment, I will get a headache, not feel it in my stomach, or where ever feelings are felt. I box it up in my head and also have muscle aches in my shoulders.

 

Now I am 29 and I really, really want to start being able to feel, and to be myself. The coach told me, that I have fire inside me, I just have to learn to feel and be authentic, and I will be happy a 100% with life. And he is right.

 

Now they are going to help me with it (cause I got the job, yayy), but I still want to learn to do this by myself. I have had this mechanism for 29 years and I realize it is going to be a difficult journey, but I do want to go ahead and start on it.

 

Any of you have experience? And how did you do it?

[Redhead14]

Today I had a really long talk with a coach at work.

 

In my line of work, it is expected that we can be 100% open grounded, and ourselves. This is why a lot of companies choose to have new potentials tested.

 

I was tested.

The outcome was hard and painful, but I knew it already. Just never knew how to deal with it or what to do.

 

I come from a disfunctional family, and I have a coping mechanism, which only allows me to feel either extreme sadness or extreme anger, so the ends of the spectrum. Other than that, I am always in a happy mindset. This brings with that I don't have, or do not know how, to show my "authentic self".

 

I am a social chameleon and there are a couple people that see the true me. I have been told that I am picture perfect, but someting is missing and I come across as perfect, yet plastic. In different words, by different people and in different job interviews.

 

It is not that I don't WANT to show my true self, I just don't know how, and I do not have the feelings that normal people have. When I am supposed to have a feeling, such as anger, or disappointment, I will get a headache, not feel it in my stomach, or where ever feelings are felt. I box it up in my head and also have muscle aches in my shoulders.

 

Now I am 29 and I really, really want to start being able to feel, and to be myself. The coach told me, that I have fire inside me, I just have to learn to feel and be authentic, and I will be happy a 100% with life. And he is right.

 

Now they are going to help me with it (cause I got the job, yayy), but I still want to learn to do this by myself. I have had this mechanism for 29 years and I realize it is going to be a difficult journey, but I do want to go ahead and start on it.

 

Any of you have experience? And how did you do it?

 

Dissociation is the technical term for this "condition". It is more common than you realize. Most everyone dissociates at some point or another. For them, it's a passing thing. But a person, such as yourself who has come to rely on it in order to cope with life in general, needs to try to get in touch with the proverbial "inner child". Reach in and talk to that little boy who suffered so much in his young life. It's a deep process that should be guided by a counselor.

 

Some people find it helpful to keep a daily journal of experiences, situations, etc. Write down your thoughts surrounding those things. If there was something that happened that would usually make someone upset or angry, and of course, you probably didn't, it gives you the opportunity to "see" it for what it is and you may be able to associate the appropriate emotion to it in a safe environment.

 

The best advice I can give you is to talk, talk, talk to a counselor. Be brave and open about everything you think and or feel. Be patient with yourself. It will be worth the effort for you and there will be ups and downs. Being able to experience a full range of emotions gives life color and texture It's not something to fear. You will, of course, have to learn how to manage the "new" emotions you eventually feel, like anger, but anger is a useful tool if managed properly.

 

Go forward with counseling. You can't really do this alone and shouldn't.

[PogoStick]

Don't worry Dexter, you'll be fine!

 

The answer is THERAPY. You need to get in it, and stay with it for years. Seriously.