Hyperion227 Posted July 7, 2016 Share Posted July 7, 2016 You're just determined to argue. Women wouldn't choose a convicted rapist over you (and if such a woman did, would you really want a woman who was that messed up?). My point is is that if a majority of women would prefer that could you categorise them as messed up? Or is their flaw just less of a turn off than mine. My hot guy profile did manage to do better with a woman than my real profile even when I told her that I had been in prison for attempted murder. After all I was the best looking man shed seen on the site. Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted July 7, 2016 Share Posted July 7, 2016 My point is is that if a majority of women would prefer that could you categorise them as messed up? Or is their flaw just less of a turn off than mine. My hot guy profile did manage to do better with a woman than my real profile even when I told her that I had been in prison for attempted murder. After all I was the best looking man shed seen on the site. Ok, but you understand that this one woman was only saying that to you; as in, she might not have meant it? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Hyperion227 Posted July 7, 2016 Share Posted July 7, 2016 Ah, I see. Yes, that changes everything. Why don't you then make it clear on your OLD thing that you are one of these heterosexual men who are only interested in the minority of women who would not rather date a hot looking convicted rapist? That would go down well, I think. I tell you what. I'll write that on my hot guy profile and then I'll come back and tell you how it made no difference to how popular he is. Link to post Share on other sites
Hyperion227 Posted July 7, 2016 Share Posted July 7, 2016 Or at least state that you're willing to consider becoming a convicted rapist for the sake of the relationship. Again, as funny as that is, my profile with the good looking photos will do much better than my own profile with that written in the blurb. Link to post Share on other sites
Hyperion227 Posted July 7, 2016 Share Posted July 7, 2016 Ok, but you understand that this one woman was only saying that to you; as in, she might not have meant it? This woman had a severe problem with irony. Trust me, sarcasm was way out of her wheelhouse. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 7, 2016 Share Posted July 7, 2016 Except they're perfectly willing to trust anything from the hot guy profile. Trust is really not the issue. Looks are the issue and I'm afraid any other explanation has to explain how hot guy profile has NONE of the problems mine does when the same person is behind them. Yes, willing to check it out, and so are guys. Link to post Share on other sites
Hyperion227 Posted July 7, 2016 Share Posted July 7, 2016 Yes, willing to check it out, and so are guys. Never said they weren't. Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted July 7, 2016 Share Posted July 7, 2016 Never said they weren't. In all fairness to you, I've never done OLD so I can't really relate; all I know (and that I know for a fact) is that OLD doesn't have its own space and time continuum so the women you come across there are, in fact, the exact same women who live around you. The exact same. So this points to the fact that you may have a very low opinion of women in general (or the majority, whatever), on OLD or not - that would be your biggest issue, I think. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Hyperion227 Posted July 7, 2016 Share Posted July 7, 2016 In all fairness to you, I've never done OLD so I can't really relate; all I know (and that I know for a fact) is that OLD doesn't have its own space and time continuum so the women you come across there are, in fact, the exact same women who live around you. The exact same. So this points to the fact that you may have a very low opinion of women in general (or the majority, whatever), on OLD or not - that would be your biggest issue, I think. Well I didn't have a low opinion before I signed up to OLD. It has come from my experiences there. So what was the problem the months I spent being ignored whilst still optimistic about my chances? Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted July 7, 2016 Share Posted July 7, 2016 Well I didn't have a low opinion before I signed up to OLD. It has come from my experiences there. So what was the problem the months I spent being ignored whilst still optimistic about my chances? Wouldn't it be down to you to do a little bit of introspection so you can answer this question honestly? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mrldii Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 Well as I say I have two profiles on plenty of fish. The good looking guy gets endless messages. Many many messages from women who are very much at the lower end of the attractiveness scale. They've been told they are beautiful and are entirely confident that they can bag a hot guy. If I send a woman a message I cringe after sending it because I know they they probably are thinking like peraph said up thread, like, why on Earth is he messaging me? I'm not allowed to be attractive because I didn't win the genetic lottery. And my two profiles online show EXACTLY how much beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It's not. Are the same women who ignore your messages to them on POF with your *real* profile, reaching out/responding to your *fake* (but really good-looking) profile? I'd venture to say not; if they were, you would have made that point abundantly clear by now. And then, your ergo ipso facto conclusion would have some merit. So, all you've proven is what most people who are on/have checked out OLD already know: it is largely a bastion for the disenfranchised...people who are not comfortable with / can not meet people in the real world, in real time for a variety of good - and *bad* - reasons. So, you've proven that disenfranchised women prefer to communicate, online, with really good-looking men (no matter how *screwed up* that man may be) and you've extrapolated your results to include ALL women, in ALL the real world, in their real relationships with other real people. Personally, I wouldn't bet the farm on it. But - then again - I'm not a big fan of producing the results for self-fulfilling prophecies, either. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Aniela Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 Well I didn't have a low opinion before I signed up to OLD. It has come from my experiences there. So what was the problem the months I spent being ignored whilst still optimistic about my chances? That happened to me, too, and yet I get checked out in person (I'm just not approached for some reason - and I am approachable). Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 (edited) Men like to feel they are attractive too you know. We have self-esteem issues around our looks. I had issues with that as well. Most people would suggest that such men have more confidence and reassure themselves that they are handsome. My solution was not to reassure myself that I am handsome. That was always short lived. Some days I would feel like I was really good looking and other days the ugliest dude on the planet. Even a wrong look in the mirror could do that. My solution was to realize that life is short and that looks is not that important. There's so many other things in life. I consider myself just kind of a dude, not really good looking or ugly. It's an ongoing process, but I try and think about looks less. A lot of it is a function of getting older and thinking about what is really important in life. Do you think your 70 year old grandmother wakes up thinking about how good looking she is that day? I know some of them still do, but in general... Edited July 8, 2016 by JuneJulySeptember Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 I understand that it would be frustrating to not understand women's attraction. I also understand that it may seem random if you, personally, can not understand how it works. But it's not random, at all. Women tend to be fairly specific in their attraction patterns, esp compared to men. When looking at one woman's choice of partners, her personal attraction pattern may be glaringly obvious. But that is her attraction pattern, and another woman will be completely different (but may be as consistent in her own pattern). 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 Uh.... Just read the last few pages of this thread and trust me, the reason women aren't interested in you (Hyperion) is NOT because their attraction is random. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Hyperion227 Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 Are the same women who ignore your messages to them on POF with your *real* profile, reaching out/responding to your *fake* (but really good-looking) profile? Yes, they are. That's exactly the point. Link to post Share on other sites
Hyperion227 Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 Wouldn't it be down to you to do a little bit of introspection so you can answer this question honestly? Well yes that's why I created the other profile with the exact same profile information and style and content of messages. The only difference is the photos. 1 profile gets dozens of messages and responses a day. The other gets none. Conclusion, it's the photos. And to think otherwise you'd have to stretch logic to breaking point. Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 Well yes that's why I created the other profile with the exact same profile information and style and content of messages. The only difference is the photos. 1 profile gets dozens of messages and responses a day. The other gets none. Conclusion, it's the photos. And to think otherwise you'd have to stretch logic to breaking point. I meant self-introspection - as in, looking inside yourself. In any case, you have a few options: 1. get off OLD altogether because it's not getting you what you want, and use one of the other million avenues to meet people (assuming you have a proper, long-term relationship in mind). 2. resolve yourself to being single on the basis of the photo thing. 3. know and accept yourself fully with your flaws and good points, and endeavour to find someone who will like it all - obviously you will, in return, like them for who they are too: so that means a bit of confidence, a lot of humility, some self-awareness and generosity of spirit. The problem with option 3 is that it may take some time which, apparently, is not an option these days... Good luck either way, OP. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 Well yes that's why I created the other profile with the exact same profile information and style and content of messages. The only difference is the photos. 1 profile gets dozens of messages and responses a day. The other gets none. Conclusion, it's the photos. And to think otherwise you'd have to stretch logic to breaking point. ...and. OLD is just supermarket shopping, everyone is looking for the best they can get. So when I look on the shelf for that tin of beans, do I chose the one that looks like it fell from a height, the one with the torn label, the dusty one, the one with the short expiry date, the one from some company I have never heard of? NO, I want the perfect tin. Yes, that squashed tin of beans will most likely taste just the same but why take the chance when there is the risk that it may be rotten inside. Faced with rows of men and women, people choose the "perfect" one FOR THEM. Sexual attraction is all, and although in real life it is possible to be highly attracted to less than perfect people, why take the chance? When there he/she is on OLD, the very person that gets your juices flowing. You don't need to work on any attraction, you know that man/woman has the attributes that you find attractive, once that is out of the way, you can then set about finding out if he/she ticks the rest of the boxes. No response, then there will always be someone else to shift your attention to on OLD. Your attractive fake profile may be getting some attention, but you forget that many women will have passed him by too, as he is NOT what they want. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MGX Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 To be honest I genuinely think that a majority of women would prefer to date a hot looking convicted rapist than me right now. The women that you're looking at must be pretty immature. Link to post Share on other sites
Hyperion227 Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 ...and. OLD is just supermarket shopping, everyone is looking for the best they can get. So when I look on the shelf for that tin of beans, do I chose the one that looks like it fell from a height, the one with the torn label, the dusty one, the one with the short expiry date, the one from some company I have never heard of? NO, I want the perfect tin. Yes, that squashed tin of beans will most likely taste just the same but why take the chance when there is the risk that it may be rotten inside. Faced with rows of men and women, people choose the "perfect" one FOR THEM. Sexual attraction is all, and although in real life it is possible to be highly attracted to less than perfect people, why take the chance? When there he/she is on OLD, the very person that gets your juices flowing. You don't need to work on any attraction, you know that man/woman has the attributes that you find attractive, once that is out of the way, you can then set about finding out if he/she ticks the rest of the boxes. No response, then there will always be someone else to shift your attention to on OLD. Your attractive fake profile may be getting some attention, but you forget that many women will have passed him by too, as he is NOT what they want. Ok so you've written all that simply to agree with me that women are shallow and choose based primarily on looks. Cool u get that. Link to post Share on other sites
Hyperion227 Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 The women that you're looking at must be pretty immature. You said it. Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 You love to generalize. You've read every relationship advice article out there? No, you haven't. Women are in fact told to work out, to slim down. I think an unattractive woman being told she's beautiful is a way to bolster her self-esteem, because the worst thing a woman can be is unattractive. If she's not beautiful, she's nothing. An unattractive man can still rely on his career success or other markers of professional and personal prowess. Trying to make an unattractive woman feel beautiful doesn't mean she is actually beautiful. Yikes, the bolded makes me cringe. Are women really believing in this? My grandma used to tell me the opposite: if I fail in life I'd become a pretty wife of some trashy dude I have a good self-esteem regarding my looks but I'd HATE if a man base his interest on me based on my looks. I've spend bloody 10+ years in higher education and haven't taken a proper holiday in years to achieve a decent career (it felt like heaven when I finally start taking weekends off...), I believe that counts more than a well-shaped a**. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 Well yes that's why I created the other profile with the exact same profile information and style and content of messages. The only difference is the photos. 1 profile gets dozens of messages and responses a day. The other gets none. Conclusion, it's the photos. And to think otherwise you'd have to stretch logic to breaking point. Is it really that the dude in the 'popular' profile of yours so much more attractive, or it is also that the style of the photos is different? E.g. professional photos of face / full body shots on good background vs blurred images, group settings? If you want to have a proper experiment, post 4 profiles: - 1) your original pictures - 2) the 'popular' dude in the same setting / layout as 1) (if you can find or photoshop such pics) - 3) the 'popular' dude pics - 4) your own pics in the same setting / layout as 3) 1 and 3) just don't provide sufficient control to make conclusions IMO... Link to post Share on other sites
Hyperion227 Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 Is it really that the dude in the 'popular' profile of yours so much more attractive, or it is also that the style of the photos is different? E.g. professional photos of face / full body shots on good background vs blurred images, group settings? If you want to have a proper experiment, post 4 profiles: - 1) your original pictures - 2) the 'popular' dude in the same setting / layout as 1) (if you can find or photoshop such pics) - 3) the 'popular' dude pics - 4) your own pics in the same setting / layout as 3) 1 and 3) just don't provide sufficient control to make conclusions IMO... No it really is that he's just much better looking. The style of photos are broadly the same. Link to post Share on other sites
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