Alone and Hurting

[painfulsmile]

Hello everyone im a new member here just need to let out all this pain im feeling right now..My boyfriend broke up with me 3 days ago and im still shock and the pain is unbearable.The daily routine of skyping him first thing when i woke up and skyping him for hours before i sleep is something i miss terribly(its LDR).

I have a home based work and i dont like bars and clubs.I hardly have friends only 2 or 3 close people but they have own families already and we hardly see each other too..My family lives in another city so its really just me alone and its more painful because i got no one to talk to but just him.

This forum is the only thing i can see to let things out.I admit im scared to be alone and i dont like the feeling of it..i just need someone to talk to

[NIGHT1985]

What caused the break up?

[SixxChick]

Perhaps you could tell us more about the relationship. Like, how long was it? What do you suspect could have gone wrong? Since you are in shock, were there no warning signs? LDRs are tough. I'm sorry to hear about your pain.

[Heart..PLS STAHP]

You look like a sweet girl but we can't help out without knowing what happened. Tell us more of the relationship.

 

By the way welcome. I am a new member here too only started 2 days ago and I feel already better. I feel the guys and gals here really help me out. These people here can help you too and I would like to help you as well.

 

Just be open with us and in time you will heal. I swear I thought forums for this sort of thing to be stupid but once you realize there are people in your situation, helpful ones that may be even on the other side of the globe still help you out and provide support its great.

 

Go ahead and vent it out...

[painfulsmile]

I met him last year online after not in a relationship for 2 years.Hes the very opposite of a guy im looking for im not interested at him at the beginning but he makes me smile all the time, he is very funny and sweet.Hes from the US and im from Philippines he is also a lot younger than me.

I get used to the routine of calling him on skype the first thing in the morning and call him at night before i sleep and even keep the call while im sleeping.He is far from me but im contented and happy.We both got cheated on our past and i feel like we are there to fill each other void.

Our relationship is not perfect like everyone elses there are fights every now and then not because of trust issues but because of one of us hardly have time sometimes.He sometimes complain that im not sweet enough or i hardly give him attention when he is the same.He thinks i dont care about him when i dont call him because im just waiting for him to call me, i dont know if he is sleeping or recording for his gaming channel in youtube or other stuff hes doing.When i tell him that he said i better start doing the call and not him, i do but sometimes i still wait for him to do that.

Its just we drive each other nuts sometimes over little things.I grow tired of it and i become distant and he become cold.But when we dont talk for a day we really miss each other.One time we argue i ask him if he needed some space he said he dont need that he said he needs me and that he will be devastated if im gone he said im his lifeline and he dont know how to handle it if i leave him.

Then 3 days ago he message me and said he need to tell me something so i call him on skype, he said he have a girlfriend but still feel alone and he dont want to be left alone.He said he better find someone else near him, the distance killing him.He loves me so much but he cant go on with our situation.

He said he still wants to be friends with me that i will still talk to him i said yes while crying and said goodbye but the next day i blocked him on fb because i cant stand looking at my messenger all the time expecting for his message.I woke up for 2 days now grabbing my phone and realize he is gone now and go to sleep hugging my pillow..I miss his voice and i miss his smile, i know i will move on but for how it hurts terribly.

The urge to unblock him and messgae him is very hard to fight so i just come here and read some threads to distract myself.

[Heart..PLS STAHP]

So I understand that you were physically close as well? Not just met online but met face to face and then were separated?

 

If so this was the case in one of my older relationships. Long distant and excessively hard to manage. Distant relationships are always hard to cope with and make them work. There are some people who manage but I wasn't one of them. My girlfriend back then cheated on me and I was all alone like you nobody to talk to.

 

How long were you together together? I mean like physically there for each other not online?

 

Because that matters. And furthermore determine when you both will have time to be with each other and live in the same place. If it is soon in time that's fine but if we are talking many many months or years then this will be a problem.

[painfulsmile]

We just met online last August and we never met in person yet , we have plans about that in the future though but even if im not with him physically my attachment to him is really strong and i dont know if its normal or not.

[Heart..PLS STAHP]

That changes the perspective of the whole relationship.

 

Being physically close to someone is how you fall in love with them. Online only seems deprived of any emotion. You can't touch, you can't feel each others warmth, you can't kiss while all you can do is talk but not express your love in any way. It's a slippery slope and I don't see any point this to continue.

 

I am sorry but I really don't. Once when I was little I had a crush online but that was only it.. a crush. I can't fall in love with someone just online chatting/talking/skyping. I need to feel them.

 

So having said that if you guys are 1 in a million online cases where you are meant for each other consider really WHEN will be the time for you to see each other in person. If that will be never or in a few years time I would let go...

[painfulsmile]

I agree with you , i think its the right decision he made that i think he better of with someone else near him but im still hurting right now..I know i will move on next time but at the moment its painful and just want to let it out since i got no one here i can talk or hang out with.

Thank you for the advice it lightens me a little right now

[Heart..PLS STAHP]

Just think rationally why it can't work out because it is viable online only.

 

Loving someone online may be possible, I myself never experienced it but not worth it. Calm yourself and go out. Go to a dance class, learn a new language, jog or go to the gym, exercise in general, ride a bike. There are stuff to do that will make you feel happier with yourself and help you move on. Remember to keep on going. Moving will heal you I promise.

 

We are here for you so vent your emotions in case you need again

[Hamish57a]

I can see how two people can meet on line and carry on a relationship. But sooner or later you must meet. If that isn't possible in the near future then you have to be realistic. Emotionally it's very hard especially if you feel close. This fellow was lonely or wanted attention and you spoke, it felt great but it seems he needed physical contact and he found it else where or he was in a relationship and something was missing. For most lonely people, just talking to another can be uplifting. My advice would be to be realistic, join a site in your area and see where it leads you. You can look for friendship it doesn't have to be for love or sex. And you never know what might happen. I hope you're feeling better, See this relationship for what it was.