ablankslate Posted July 9, 2016 Share Posted July 9, 2016 I posted a several years ago and learned a lot but messed up got suspicious and tipped her off on what I knew was an affair. This time I will spare the details but have lots of soft proof and now need tangible proof fast. There are two options... Buy a GPS Tracking and Self Sleuth...an issue is that they are business partners and co-owners of a retail store so they can hook-up there. Hire a PI. Use their GPS and other means. If I go this route what suggestions do you have on hiring a PI? How do I find a good one? Thanks in advance for your help and insights! Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted July 9, 2016 Share Posted July 9, 2016 You know she is a serial cheater so why are you still with her? She clearly does not respect you. If you do not respect yourself then who will? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
EverySunset Posted July 9, 2016 Share Posted July 9, 2016 I ask friends all the time why they need a smoking gun when they are staring a dead body. You *know* the truth. Court doesn't need it, it doesn't usually matter anymore. And really, neither do you. Take a deep breath, and move on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
bigman1 Posted July 9, 2016 Share Posted July 9, 2016 (edited) I went back and re-read your prior posts. A so called hidden G string?! "self bondage"? " a search for some guy a few years ago? You track her mileage and stuff. You are not healthy. What exactly is your goal? Do you need to be able to say, "Aha! Caught you"! and then leave? Do you need to to feel worse and justify your staying? Do you have a special "pick me" dance you are just dying to do? Does she need to be your hostage? Must she be where you can lay eyes on her at every moment? What you are proposing is not healthy. If she is not trust worthy or you are not "safe" then call it off. If you are just insecure, and a lot says that you are, then call it off. I am not seeing the upside of this relationship nor do I see a reason to go through all of the cloak and dagger stuff. Edited July 9, 2016 by bigman1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ablankslate Posted July 9, 2016 Author Share Posted July 9, 2016 To all and BigMan...thanks for all the drive-bye gang bang judgements i hope it was fun. Let's see did I ask for your judgements? Ah no but could start a thread called "Judge Me" if that would help. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted July 9, 2016 Share Posted July 9, 2016 Buy a GPS Tracking and Self Sleuth...an issue is that they are business partners and co-owners of a retail store so they can hook-up there. Hire a PI. Use their GPS and other means. If I go this route what suggestions do you have on hiring a PI? How do I find a good one? The second option obviously more expensive than the first so it raises the question - what's the knowledge worth to you? Believe it or not, you can find PI reviews on Yelp... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted July 10, 2016 Share Posted July 10, 2016 A PI didn't do me much good. Cost me $250 to have her trailed for a few hours when I was "sure" she'd be up to no good. It revealed nothing. I did, however, use a GPS tracker that I stashed in her wheel well. It showed her at a hotel from 10pm to midnight when she was supposed to be working. Then I went to the hotel and managed to get a duplicate receipt. That revealed that she was earning StarPoints. I guessed at her StarPoints password and got lucky. And found 13 mid-day hotel stays going back over the prior 6 months (as far as they track them). Then I checked a bunch of other hotel websites and found another 22 stays. I also found a lot via research on her PC. I checked her history, her search history, her emails, her contacts (and on and on). I got one puzzle piece at a time. All that said, I see the most success from voice activated recorders. And yet, there is some truth to what some of the others here are saying. It's important to bear in mind that you don't need to convince her that she's cheating. She knows. You just need to get enough info for yourself such that you can confidently make an informed decision. My investigating only continued to such lengths because my wife claimed that she had told me everything and that she'd never lie to me again, and my gut said it wasn't true. My gut was right and I needed to know that. I also was tired of her successfully lying. I eventually divorced. I don't regret my sleuthing. Just keep in mind that eventually it does need to stop and you move on to making a decision. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Friskyone4u Posted July 10, 2016 Share Posted July 10, 2016 I do not know the back story, but it seems that this is not her first rodeo. You can probably put a VAR in her car for under $100 total and find out what you want to know in less than a week as long as you do it right. But if i were you i would go the direct route since you have already caught her at least once before. You could confront her with the soft proof you have and when she denies it, tell her you need her to take a polygraph. Even if you have no intention of doing it, her reaction will tell you a lot. if she is not cheating again, and if she is remorseful, she will not hesitate to agree to do it. but the bottom line here is to remember, you are NOT in a court of law. You are the judge, the jury, and if necessary the executioner. You can STOP divorce proceedings any time you want to, but that would put you in control instead of on defense. Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted July 10, 2016 Share Posted July 10, 2016 (edited) If you get concrete proof of her cheating - have you decided what you will do once you confront her ? 1) Divorce her? 2) Give her a chance to reconcile ? 3) ? Just curious what the end game is But to answer your question - spyware on PC, GPS tracker (live real time), VAR, and if you can check her cell phone directly or via backups on cloud/PC. With the live GPS tracker - a PI could have better access to catching up on her - and so could you. Yelp and google can find you PI's in your area. I never used a PI for infedility but I used one for other purposes - looked for a female one and google helped. Edited July 10, 2016 by dichotomy Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted July 10, 2016 Share Posted July 10, 2016 Yeah, you need to know your end game before you start. If potential divorce is on the table, you should have an attorney before you have a PI, and the attorney can handle the PI. (They interact w them all the time.) btw, in general, avoid doing your own investigating. It's sometimes illegal in some places and in some ways and it tends to make you look biased in court. You want a disinterested third party presenting evidence on your behalf. Link to post Share on other sites
drifter777 Posted July 10, 2016 Share Posted July 10, 2016 I'm thinking OP doesn't care whether he obtains the hard evidence "legally" or not. I think he just needs it for his own personal reasons. PI, VAR, Polygraph can all work. For these work place affairs I would just bribe someone to give you information about where or when they meet. Find some girl who works there and beg her to help you and I think she will. Link to post Share on other sites
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