Can somebody please help me?

[Ray]

I have a girlfriend and she's my first and I'm her first boyfriend as well. We have been seeing each other for 4 months now. One time, we got intimate and I told her I like to make love with her and i asked her if she wants to do it too. She told me she's not sure. She then asked me questions like why I want to make love to her(I told her because I love her very much), did I feel it all the time(I told her not all the time), do I really want to do it(I told her yes but not desperate that I could die). She also asked me if I think that she also felt that she want to make love to me sometimes and I told her that I think so and I asked her if what I think is correct, she said it's maybe correct. I don't know why she put maybe in her answer but I guess it's because she's shy to admit it. Am I correct or is it really maybe? and why?

 

I continue to asked her if she wants to make love and she kept saying she's not sure and she don't know. I even asked her if she's just shy or just afraid to hurt my feelings to give me a straight "NO" answer but she assured me that her only answer is she don't know. So I just let it be.

 

My questions are, did I do the right thing by not insisting her that she answer only "yes" or "no"? Can it really be that she don't know and why? Can she be just playing hard to get and wants me to nag her more or help her come up with a positive answer? or maybe she wants to do it too but needs more motivation? Since she's my very first girlfriend, what should my behaviour be in initiating sex? is there any signs I should look for? by the way, she's 19 and I'm 20.

 

I hope somebody could give me some answers and advice. Thanks.

[me]

i'm a 19 year old girl in her first relationship...

 

my advice is to take it sloooow

 

it's all scary and new and exciting to her

 

and yes, girls r more emotional about sex than guys

 

so give her time

 

it will only show u care

 

good luck!!

[MoonB]

At 19 with her very first boy friend, it is totaly possible that she is just plain unsure,and not playing hard to get or any game at all. don't pressure her for a yes or no, let her know that when she is ready she can come to you, For many women, & probably men(?) the first time has been talked up so much.."it has to be special and perfect and on and on.." she needs to feel completely okay about it. Just get to know each other better, and it will come naturally.

I have a girlfriend and she's my first and I'm her first boyfriend as well. We have been seeing each other for 4 months now. One time, we got intimate and I told her I like to make love with her and i asked her if she wants to do it too. She told me she's not sure. She then asked me questions like why I want to make love to her(I told her because I love her very much), did I feel it all the time(I told her not all the time), do I really want to do it(I told her yes but not desperate that I could die). She also asked me if I think that she also felt that she want to make love to me sometimes and I told her that I think so and I asked her if what I think is correct, she said it's maybe correct. I don't know why she put maybe in her answer but I guess it's because she's shy to admit it. Am I correct or is it really maybe? and why? I continue to asked her if she wants to make love and she kept saying she's not sure and she don't know. I even asked her if she's just shy or just afraid to hurt my feelings to give me a straight "NO" answer but she assured me that her only answer is she don't know. So I just let it be. My questions are, did I do the right thing by not insisting her that she answer only "yes" or "no"? Can it really be that she don't know and why? Can she be just playing hard to get and wants me to nag her more or help her come up with a positive answer? or maybe she wants to do it too but needs more motivation? Since she's my very first girlfriend, what should my behaviour be in initiating sex? is there any signs I should look for? by the way, she's 19 and I'm 20. I hope somebody could give me some answers and advice. Thanks.

[sparkle]

My questions are, did I do the right thing

by not insisting her that she answer only "yes" or "no"?

You seemed pretty persistent in getting an answer from her. Ask her the question once and then drop it. Don't keep bugging her.

Can it really be that she don't know and why?

Yes. Yes. YES. She doesn't know. Stop pressuring her. JEEZ!

Can she be just playing hard to get and wants me to nag her more or help her come up with a positive answer?

No. No. NO. Don't nag her about it. If she's a normal and mature person, she'll let you know without you having to bug her.

or maybe she wants to do it too but needs more motivation?

I don't think so. Ask her in a few months. If she still says no/i don't know, then she's not ready to.

what should my behaviour be in initiating sex?

You can have a good time without having sex. Make out with her and let her continue or take the lead. She'll stop or push you away when she feels it's gone far enough. But DON'T try to have sex with her if she's already told you that she doesn't know. She doesn't know. She's not sure. Don't keep insisting or trying to do anything. After some time has passed, then you can ask her right out if she wants to have sex with you or if she's not ready and would like to wait a while longer.

 

The day you stop worrying about when she'll give it up to you is the day she'll want to have sex with you, and will let you know on her own.