Fatal Attraction

[Poppy47]

Wolffish grin.....yes my revenge was one that kept my identity anonymous.

 

Don't get caught....

 

OOH I'd love to know how he got his dose of KARMA. Sounds like Days of Our Lives.

 

Poppy

[stillafool]

I didn't sign up to get abused. .

 

What did you sign up for when you decided to have an affair with someone else's husband?

[sandylee1]

A restraining order needs grounds. Contacting someone to inform them of their H's infidelity as a one-off is hardly going to crack the nod for a RO.

 

Telling employers will only work if you're employed by some religious organisation, or you and he have some other R with each other (patient-doctor, for example, or teacher-student, or such). Most other employers couldn't care less about your private life unless it impacts on your ability to do your work.

 

Also, there are stories on these boards of BS who've chosen to make a scene at an OW's workplace that has gone very badly for the BS, with no fallout for the OW, so it's unlikely to be in the BS's interest to do this.

 

As for telling your family / social media - this only matters if you have something to lose from not keeping it a secret. That might be true in, say, Saudi Arabia, or if you're a vicar, or your family are into "honour killings" or whatever. Most adults' families don't lend out their ears to spurious gossip from random strangers - especially anonymously - and public spats on social media are more likely to backfire and make the BS look bad (if people know / suspect about the A) or be brushed off as hysterical paranoia if not.

 

So I wouldn't worry too much about any of that.

 

/QUOTE]

 

I was talking about the range of possibilities.

 

Also OP, be well aware that your ex MM can also seek revenge if you cause him problems. I'm sure you know the extent some have gone to in order to keep the affair under wraps.

 

OP is currently identifying with a crazy ... albeit fictitious character. It didn't end well for Alex.

 

° If she goes crazy like Alex was doing ... then an RO is in order.

° Telling your job isn't always to make anything happen like getting you fired, but it will certainly cause you shame, assuming the individual is so inclined.

 

There is also a disciplinary offence called 'bringing the company into disrepute' in some organisatioms. It doesn't have to be a religious organisation for this to happen.

 

I know a situation where a woman was required to resign following an affair that had nothing to do with her job. The BW went crazy with flyers in the car park on windshields about the marketing director Fu**k**g her

husband. Wasn't good for business and she had to leave.

 

It's not your everyday situation, but neither is Alex your everyday OW.

 

Blasting it on SM, well again..... loosing your self respect matters if one has any to begin with. Most people would be bothered by this, though I realise some won't flinch.

 

You don't have to live in the Middle east to be shamed either.

 

The bottom line your revenge can backfire. So prepare for battle if you go down that road.

 

OP - You got with a MM with your eyes wide open. You need to learn from this that it's not going to end well if you do it again and move on, without the attitude of you didn't make vows to her. That kind of thought process will not benefit you.

 

Find a single man who you don't have to duck and dive with like a fugitive.

[Lady2163]

OOH I'd love to know how he got his dose of KARMA. Sounds like Days of Our Lives.

 

Poppy

 

You're going to think it is so lame and anticlimactic....

 

So he cared about money and he used it to win friends. He hung out in a bar 10-12 hours a day. He was disabled and got a nice pension/disability check. I'd say he made about $3000 a month after taxes. His expenses came to less than $750. He literally drank, smoked, gambled and sugar daddied the rest away. Then, he'd hit me up for money with this sob story or that sob story. I was an idiot, moron and just let him walk all over me.

 

Again. He didn't love me, but loved his money and throughly enjoyed being a big shot amongst the alcoholic crowd.

 

So after he cheated on my with the town skank and exposed me to possible STDs, I moved across country. I saved up my money and tried to move on, and people who really weren't my friends would tell me how happy he was and how well he treated skanky. I wasn't moving on. Nothing I could say or do would make him hurt the way he hurt me.

 

But....

 

One day I flew back to the area and told nobody I'd ever known. I rented a car and lurked outside the bar. The moment he left and turned out of the parking lot, I was on the phone with the police department telling them about this car that cut me off pulling out of the XYZ Club and was weaving. I stayed back and gave them specifics. Sure enough just a few minutes later a cop car pulls him over. I drove past wearing a baseball cap and with my face turned. It was dark, but I didn't want to risk it. I went around the corner, parked and snuck through a back yard and blessings of blessings, there was a shrub running along the street. I heard the entire stop.

 

"I wassnhnt weaving inshide and out...Ahm nawht drunk. Ahm nawht getting out of thish carrrr."

 

Bless his stupid heart, he resisted arrest. I wanted to laugh so hard, but was scared of being discovered by the police or the homeowners.

 

So, he had a medical condition that had resulted in the loss of his license years ago. He'd bought a car for cash, the car was registered in one state, but this was a place that had four states within 90 miles of each other. Since he'd lost his license in one state, he'd simply crossed the border and used a relatives address to get a drivers license in another state. But, he had no insurance.

 

Then he threw a punch at the police officer.

 

It was the gift that kept on giving.

 

I don't know how many charges were brought against him. DUI, resisting arrest, assault, no insurance. This was late at night and most of his alkie buddies didn't have phones. Of course they didn't have any bail money, anyway. Neither did he since it was later in the month. He was stuck in jail.

 

He drank 10-12 beers a day and smoked two packs of cigarettes. Only this was a smoke-free jail. And it was a weekend in a medium sized town. I'm not sure how long it took to go before the judge. I'm not sure how long before the public defender told him he made too much money and needed to hire a lawyer.

 

I know at one point he faked a seizure and ended up at the VA hospital. They put him in a locked detox unit. My information is a bit spotty here, but I don't think he was allowed to smoke and he tried to sign himself out during third shift and almost had them convinced to let him go. Fortunately, one of the third shifters called the big boss and woke him up, who then called the police. The VA did discharge him AMA, but not into the waiting arms and car of the skank, but back to jail!

 

So, I don't know what his sentence and fine were, but he did get sent to six weeks of rehab. I think much of it was suspended due to rehab.

 

But, I'm not done. Eventually he did get bail money by contacting one of his adult children.

 

This was a state where when a dui happens, the bars in question are notified and bartenders can be held liable. This was a private club - think VFW, American Legion, Elks, Moose...one of those where you need a membership. Needless to say the bartenders were pissed off. Then, the adult child contacted the leaders of the club and informed them that due to his medical condition he was not allowed to drive AND he had no business drinking with the medications he was taking.

 

He was banned for life from a couple of places and a few more forbid him to be served. Anyone caught buying him a drink would be thrown out. As the word spread, fewer and fewer bartenders would serve him simply because they didn't want to be sued if he died in front of them or had a heart attack or seizure. No one making a smidge over minimum wage wanted that responsibility.

 

So, this really took on a life of its own. All I wanted was for him to get a DUI and maybe pay a hefty fine. It used to be about $3000 for your first one. Lawyer fees, court costs, fines and insurance increases.

 

Sometimes karma needs a little help.

 

I never felt the need to do anything else. I'm okay with not knowing all the details. I've always thought if I ever get back there, I'd go look up his court case (it's not online). But I wouldn't spend more than 15 minutes of my life on it. We're even. I'm over him, but I don't get tired of telling the story.

[ChickiePops]

Lady2163 that wasn't so much revenge as it was you reporting a public safety hazard and protecting people from being killed...

[Lady2163]

Lady2163 that wasn't so much revenge as it was you reporting a public safety hazard and protecting people from being killed...

 

Well, except for he wasn't weaving and he didn't run the red light as I said in my call....

 

I know this doesn't have anything to do with revenge on a married man, but it was revenge where I didn't want to get caught.

 

One of the places that banned him for life was his regular 10-12 hours a day home away from home. I've always believed simce they didn't want to be liable for serving him and he had pulled a lot of crap over the years and he wasn't a drinking customer anymore, the club leaders didn't want him around anymore!

 

Now I've got the itch to try and fill in some of the holes of the story. Argh!

[basil67]

I didn't sign up to get abused. And I made no vows to the BS.

 

You're not being abused. People are just suggesting that you take responsibility for your own choices.

 

You made no vows, you knew he was married to another, so you have no right to be angry with him.

[Poppy47]

Lady,

 

Thank you for making my day. What a great story. Not everyone has the satisfaction of witnessing Karma.

 

Thank you for sharing it here. Your x sounds like a real door knob.

 

Poppy

[whichwayisup]

I didn't sign up to get abused. And I made no vows to the BS. Hey, he likes drama, so there could be a lot to be had here.

 

Then if you do it, then be prepared for the fallout. Remember, revenge can go both ways. He can mess in YOUR life, get a hold of all your family members, friends, neighbours, co workers and out YOU, ruin your reputation and tell everybody that you knew he was married and still chose to have an A with him. Do you want all your family and friends to know that you were sleeping with a MM? Do you want the drama filled revenge in your life? Think first before you eat the poison apple.

[cocorico]

It was adapted from Diversion, which centered around the plight of the OW and had her in a much more sympathetic role. We watched the short film version of it in women's studies to show what happens when misogynistic Hollywood gets their hands on a true feminist story. Sorry, Wikipedia is wrong on this one.

 

So the play was adapted from the earlier movie rather than the later one. Still a different story to claiming that the movie was based on the play.

 

Did you know that the original play that the movie was based on was completely different? It was about the harm done to the OW.

[Lobe]

You feel the need to tell his wife to move on? Then tell his wife. She should probably find out this way rather than by getting herpes from the next woman he starts seeing on the side, right?

 

Tell his wife, not for revenge but for her health and safety - whatever he told you about her was full of half-truths, omission, and outright lies. Do it out of respect for the woman who is going to get herpes if no one tells her her husband is a wayward piece of sh*t.

[ChickiePops]

I don't think the OP is coming back..