J007 Posted July 11, 2016 Share Posted July 11, 2016 Before I start , yes I am aware . NEVER S*** WHERE YOU EAT . I am currently living on my own after moving away from my family and friends and dare I say it , I started connecting with co worker , possibly craving attention . She is 30 , I am 26 . We work in separate offices and do not see each other every day. To summarise this situation , myself and a co worker started meeting after work Once a week... Generally having fun and just laughing and where ever it would go we were happy . this lasted a month. One day we agreed to meet just me and her for a night for the first time . She ended up inviting me around hers which she seemed happy about . Now at this point she was always the Instigator of texts and I would simply arrange meetups on the phone , I would never talk BS on the phone . Anyway soon as I walked in the door , she was abusive , wouldn't get off her phone and basically made my effort and time a waste . I felt uncomfortable and proceeded to leave . She texted the day after trying to be funny to which I didnt respond . My time is valuable , I have more respect for myself than to validate her behaviour . Since then we were due to meet up after work . I waited and she drove away and her texts were ' Im fedup of going out of my way'. She then refused to communicate her actions and it forced things to be left up in the air and 2 months without contact from either of us apart from a hello when we see eachother in the building things were still horrible . She refused to communicate and an atmosphere was still very tense and was noticeable to other colleagues So today I see her in the Supermarket , feel this is a good time to talk. maybe make things normal for the sake of work and just talk. She accused me of following her around and told me to go home . Few things to understand in this situation is she is a girl that does not talk about her feelings . She has a history of beta males that have professed there love to her . Obviously first instinct from me is that she isnt interested which is fair enough ! You cant attract everyone but what is strange is she is making things so difficult to even be on a platonic basis and have a conversation . Bearing in mind , she was the one acting in a disrespectful way . I am unsure what the next steps are . I dont text , we havnt spoken in work for months now and its still an issue . Do I front it out ? Or do I grab her for 5 minutes and get her to explain her behaviour so I can understand why she is behaving this way ? Any help would be brilliant . Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted July 11, 2016 Share Posted July 11, 2016 Block and ignore. I don't think explaining would serve any purpose. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted July 11, 2016 Share Posted July 11, 2016 I have more respect for myself than to validate her behaviour . Communication should be strictly about work. Block everything else. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author J007 Posted July 11, 2016 Author Share Posted July 11, 2016 I understand that . I am more in the mode of thinking that for the sake of the workplace , what benefit is it going to be if we're treading on eggshells everywhere . We are in the same workplace friendship group aswell which makes things even more complicated really . Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted July 11, 2016 Share Posted July 11, 2016 I understand that . I am more in the mode of thinking that for the sake of the workplace , what benefit is it going to be if we're treading on eggshells everywhere . We are in the same workplace friendship group aswell which makes things even more complicated really . There is no need to be walking on eggshells. There is no need to explain her behavior to get insight into why she behaves that way. Just treat her as a co-worker and keep a distance. I think you're making this more than it should be. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author J007 Posted July 12, 2016 Author Share Posted July 12, 2016 You're right 100% . For me I think rather than an explanation , I need to stand up for myself and just mention that the way she spoke to be was wrong , put a line over it and just stay out of eachothers way . Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Clavel Posted July 12, 2016 Share Posted July 12, 2016 Anyway soon as I walked in the door , she was abusive , wouldn't get off her phone and basically made my effort and time a waste . I felt uncomfortable and proceeded to leave . define abusive? Link to post Share on other sites
Cherryz Posted July 12, 2016 Share Posted July 12, 2016 You knew that messing with co workers never ends well rigth? Learn from this. This girl look like someone with alot of issues. Its like she just want to play with you for attention and use you. Nothing good or healthy. Just block her and at work change your attitude to her. Just be strictly business! And nothing emotional. You have nothing to talk to her anymore. Every time you try she use it against you. Move on and focus on what they hired you for! And im sure you have a small group of real close friends which she is not part of. So hang out with them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
davidvillasor Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 Block and ignore. I don't think explaining would serve any purpose. I agree, ignoring is the best option. Link to post Share on other sites
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