Told my best female friend I'm starting to look her differently

[glycerine]

Hello!

 

I've know my friend (28yo) since 2009, I (30yo) was engaged to my now ex-wife, at that time, they were pretty close.

 

She had a bf back then, we got along fine, good guy.

 

 

Fast forward to 2016, I've been divorced for 2 years, she broke up with her bf 8 months ago.

 

Shortly after I splitted I started hanging out more with her, purely platonic, we had a lot in common, she was there for me when I broke up and I was there for her. She became my best female friend.

 

During my two years single I've done a bit of everything, I've gone on a lot of dates, met girls while travelling, some stories reached her by my other friends and it seems she sees me now as kinda of a womanizer. I'm not, I'm just not a coward, and I really live by "It's better to regret what you have done than what you haven't".

 

Eventhough...while she was still with her bf I met one of her closest girlfriends at her birthday party, and dated her for a couple months. Later (she was still with the bf) I asked her other very best friend out. She didn't agree at the time, but now (several months later) she's into me, when my friend became single I decided not to act on any of them, and see how my friend behaved.

At some point my friend even told me (one of the only times I've seen her kinda mad at me) "you really have a thing for my friends!!, don't you???".

 

Funny thing is that I've met a lot of women, and now I would describe my type 60% my friend and 30% the girl I met at her bd party, 10% my ex.

 

And I have met a lot of women, really trying to get to know them rather than just bed them, so I think while I don't know exactly waht I want, I DO know what I don't want. It's not like I had oneitis for her.

 

I like her, she's shy, smart and funny, I have the best time when we go out to dance (i'm latino, this is important XD), she's very ladylike and MOST IMPORTANT she doesn't have the three dealbreakers: Anger, Jelously and Hate (my ex did, big time).

 

 

 

Well, we went out to a club this last saturday, after that we went to grab a bite at a bar, it felt as the right time as we were alone, and:

(by the way, I didn't come out and tell her I LOVEEEE YOUUU, I'm not like that)

 

I told her that for me enough time has passed and that now that I've seen her single I can't help but to see her on a different light, that I love her very much as a friend, but that I'm very curious to try and see if something might develop between the two of us, if we were to look at things without having preconceptions about the whole thing. That I know she only sees me as a friend and I've honestly seen her like that for a lot of time. And that i've catched feelings for her at some point but dismissed the idea.

 

She was kinda shocked, but not so much, she told me that one of her other male friends puked his feelings right after she broke up with her bf (I would never do that, such a rookie mistake lol, or fishing for a rebound), she's no longer friends with that kid.

 

She told me that she never thinks of us because she thinks it would be wrong, given that my ex was her friend and that her ex and I were sort of friends. I told her that for me enough time has passed, and that she knows both of us have lost all contact with my ex. But that I understand if enough time hasn't passed for her, that if she's keen on the idea at some point she should flirt with me XD. She laughed, but I couldn't read her like I usually can, she was very sleepy lol, we both didn't have anything to drink at the club, but she kept saying...I think there was something on your drink...looking very confused, not angry, nor uncomfortable. She then looked at me and asked: "you really don't care about the past, don't you?" i replied "no I don't, it's the past".

 

Sidenote; I've seen what happens when someone isn't attracted to me and I tell her and how she rejects me, and this is different. She could have held my hand and told me: "I really love you, but as a friend, we can't be nothing else because of your ex, I hope you understand".

Also, other female friends always tease me with both of us being something else, I know she likes me, but the whole thing seems like too much for her it seems. She always puts others before her.

 

Also....she told me "you are trying your luck with every girl; like you're playing poker and you're the dealer" i replied "it's not every girl, I'm very picky (i am picky, she knows)"

 

So now.... I'm letting her have some space, I usually don't communicate with her that much via text, I hang out with her about once a week, and usually only text her to arrange the date. She works insane hours monday-friday. I plan to write her on wednesday, I don't plan to back down, nor to further stress the point.

 

I wish she could see how I see her, that i'm not in love with her, I just like to hang out with her and I morally don't have any restrain (life is short people!). I just wanna see what happens.

 

Any comments would be appreciated.

I'll post what happens for the amusement of the internets. Be patient XD.

Edited July 11, 2016 by glycerine
typo

[S_A]

From her perspective, I can't blame her for the poker line. I don't have anything else to add other than I'd like to know how it plays out. Hope it works out!

[glycerine]

From her perspective, I can't blame her for the poker line. I don't have anything else to add other than I'd like to know how it plays out. Hope it works out!

 

Life has added some drama to the plot and I'm stepping back for now.

 

The girl I like and my ex were close friends back in college, their "gang" also included two other girls that now live in different countries. The fifth girl married the cousin of the ex of the girl I like.

 

In short these girls never see each other except whenever one from abroad comes to visit.

 

The one that never comes to visit, suddenly appeared after years (this one married one of my best friens and she I consider a close friend as well, I'm closer to them than anyone else that lives here, I visited them last year and crashed at their place).

 

So now they're getting together to have dinner and act like they're friends. Stuff women do.

 

I know better than to get involved, it's not like I'm munchin popcorn while I see them fight over me, it's more like knowing when to be prudent.

 

Funny thing is I don't care what happens, I was wondering too much what would happen before I made my intentions clear. I really like the girl but I have no control over the outcome, and that's ok.

 

Regarding the poker line......I still think she thinks I'm way worse than I am, but maybe she likes that XD.

Edited July 15, 2016 by glycerine
Typos