Can I get my love back?

[Dan Crane]

I loved a woman for 11 months, while I was still with my girlfriend. It wasn't 'till after she started dating somebody else that I got the balls to actually break up with my girlfrind (of 3 years), and start my life with her. I found out I might be too late. She tells me that she still loves me, she tells me that she melts when she looks into my eyes, she told me a still tells me that we are still soulmates; But she tells me that she is too hurt to come back to me. She got together with my best friend (while I was on a 4 day vacation with my girlfriend and who didn't know about us) and tells me that since he pays her the attention she needed (from me), and he is single, and he is a good guy, that he is the one for her. I tried desperately with flowers, attentions, phone calls for the last week to show her that attention, but she wont leave him for me. She is the love of my life, my soulmate and we have the most incredible sex on the face of the planet. He is a selfish lover, bad temper, set finacially, and does not know how to compromise.

 

I love her with everything that I am, I have had a total life altering experience with this and could never do this to anybody again. My whole outlook on life has changed, I haven't slept more than 14 total hours in the last 6 days and eaten on 3 meals (none of which have stayed in my body for more than 5 minutes). She is the one for me and I can not get her out of my head.

 

Basically, I need to know if there is any way I can win her back? I keep thinking that the relationship will end in 3-6 months, maybe a year maximum. Is there any way for me to stay in her life and slowly remind her and show her that we are meatn to be together forever, and I would never do anything again in my life to hurt her? She is the one for me, I know it!

[Manya]

I am deeply touched by your post as it reminds me of what I went through when Pavel disappeared from my life. I felt exactly the same way as you do now. For months I couldn't sleep, didn't want to eat, or overate. I don't understand quite understand who you are referring to in the beginning of your post though. Did the "woman" start dating someone else and then you wanted to break up with your girlfriend? (Please explain it again more clearly so I can understand the dynamics better.)

 

It is horrible to say, and I know you don't want to hear this (I'm sure everybody tells you the same thing), but the harder you "try" to get someone the more they resist. You can become so lost and wrapped up in wanting to get back with your love that your mental health starts to borderline on illness. I've been there. Whatever you do, DO NOT TAKE antidepressant drugs!!! Talk to a psychiatrist, a friend, do something creative, read a book, learn something new...

 

I do believe that if someone wants something bad enough they will get it. It is almost frightening how this works because I've always gotten what I wanted, but have paid a huge price whenever I tried to obtain what I wanted by exterior means and not just flowing with God's will. Be careful what you wish for, you might get it.

 

You have to remember that you are the most important person here. If you are truely soulmates you won't have to go thru such a struggle to get her. Try, please try to distance yourself from the situation and get a grip on your own well-being.

 

 

 

I loved a woman for 11 months, while I was still with my girlfriend. It wasn't 'till after she started dating somebody else that I got the balls to actually break up with my girlfrind (of 3 years), and start my life with her. I found out I might be too late. She tells me that she still loves me, she tells me that she melts when she looks into my eyes, she told me a still tells me that we are still soulmates; But she tells me that she is too hurt to come back to me. She got together with my best friend (while I was on a 4 day vacation with my girlfriend and who didn't know about us) and tells me that since he pays her the attention she needed (from me), and he is single, and he is a good guy, that he is the one for her. I tried desperately with flowers, attentions, phone calls for the last week to show her that attention, but she wont leave him for me. She is the love of my life, my soulmate and we have the most incredible sex on the face of the planet. He is a selfish lover, bad temper, set finacially, and does not know how to compromise.

 

I love her with everything that I am, I have had a total life altering experience with this and could never do this to anybody again. My whole outlook on life has changed, I haven't slept more than 14 total hours in the last 6 days and eaten on 3 meals (none of which have stayed in my body for more than 5 minutes). She is the one for me and I can not get her out of my head. Basically, I need to know if there is any way I can win her back? I keep thinking that the relationship will end in 3-6 months, maybe a year maximum. Is there any way for me to stay in her life and slowly remind her and show her that we are meatn to be together forever, and I would never do anything again in my life to hurt her? She is the one for me, I know it!