East Asian Men: Why are we unattractive? **Updated**

[GunslingerRoland]

 

I am 33 years old now. I've dated 5 Asian girls. 3 of them now are with non-Asian men. The other 2 I have no idea about. I've dated one white girl and she only liked me because white guys wouldn't date her.

 

I think this explains a lot about this thread and your attitude. Don't blame the fact that your exes left you on white people.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Filipino is Asian, but with 400 years of Spanish blood mixed in with the population, they are often taller, stockier and have may have round eyes. Not always, but frequently. Most Filipino men my age (50 ish) are my height or taller.

 

Filipinos are on average much shorter than most other types of Asian men and are some of the shortest men on Earth.

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_average_human_height_worldwide

 

The Philippines are a poorer country. And my Filipino friends who have gone there say the women look almost anorexic.

 

This is what I mean. There's no point in generalizing. If you say something like "Filipino men are more attractive to me than Chinese men ... in general." Fine. But to strike an entire race?

[stillafool]

 

 

The problem is, white girls just take a look at the fact that I'm Asian and won't even try to get to know me. It's racial profiling. They won't even try to get to know me before just totally writing me off as just another Asian guy just because of how I look.

 

 

I blame more Asian women for having low self-esteem and hating on Asian men and selling out. After all, women are the gatekeepers of sex.

 

.

 

Aren't you basially doing the same thing? You want white women but they don't want you. Yet you are angry that Asian women are successful in getting white men. Not all Asian women want white men. Find one who doesn't.

[No_Go]

I think East Asians are just fine...I used to have a soft spot for mixed East Asian / Caucasian because the first guy that I got madly attached to was one of those (his dad was 100% Asian, white mom).

 

Many women like / prefer the thinner look. I'm personally perfectly ok with it, so as many gfs on mine.

 

To be completely honest for me (may not apply for others!) the two ''negatives'' with East Asian men are 1) the height (which will not be an issue for a short woman) 2) very different culture (which again will not be an issue for some, and does not apply if you are raised in a Western country)

 

I realize this is a controversial post. I am not trying to stir up anything here. Rather, I am seeking answers but I know that in the politically correct world we live in, it's hard to confront uncomfortable topics.

 

For every Asian man/white female couple you see, there are three Asian female/White male couples. Why the discrepancy?

 

I believe it has to do with East Asian generics. By East Asian, I mean Chinese/Japanese/Korean/Vietnamese.

 

Asian males are on average shorter and have less facial hair. These traits work towards disadvantage of the Asian male but advantage towards the Asian female.

 

Asian females on average are thinner, less hair and shorter. The shorter aspect doesn't matter much for females because girls can always date taller guys.

 

But for Asian males, we are at a disadvantage in the Anglo-Saxon world. We are shorter, less facial hair, and scrawnier. Add on top of that the culture of being studious and bookworms only makes it worse.

 

This has always been a problem and American mass media has been trying to correct it by introducing couples such as in the Walking dead with Glenn and Maggie. But the truth is, the Korean guy who plays Glenn. He would do really well in both East Asia as well as in the Americas. He doesn't look like the typical East Asian guy. For one thing, he's pretty tall for an east Asian guy. He's got some facial hair. He's pretty good looking. In South Korea, he'd be regarded as a hearthrob. And in the US, he's even regarded by white girls as "cute" and definitely dateable. Unfortunately, we don't all look like him.

 

I'm not trying to blame anyone. I owe a lot of my success to my adoptive country. It's white caucasian men who decided to give me a chance to succeed when I graduated college and had no experience. It's the same white men who date Asian girls who at the same time who extended career opportunities to me.

 

I like white girls and I'm open to dating them but I find they are not open to dating me. Mainly because I'm shorter and thinner than what they are used to.

 

I am a westernized Asian. If we ever went to war, I would die for my adoptive country. That's how loyal I am. I am well-educated and since the day I graduated college, I've had a good job and have been a good taxpayer contributing to society. I feel like I've paid my dues.

 

But I don't feel like I'm being treated fairly in the dating field. White women won't date me. Asian girls won't date me because they can find better more masculine White men. I'm at a loss here.

 

They say the main victim of multiculturalism are the white population but I feel the East Asian male population has suffered just as much. We are for the most part well-educated and contribute to society but we watch our women going for white guys while we remain single and lonely.

 

Maybe this is the price we have to pay for our adoptive country but I feel it's sometimes too high. I feel like sometimes my parents should have just stuck it out in our native countries.

[bummer]

What kind of attitude should I be adopting anyway? You can only go so far after being rejected multiple times.

 

I am 33 years old now. I've dated 5 Asian girls.3 of them now are with non-Asian men. The other 2 I have no idea about. I've dated one white girl and she only liked me because white guys wouldn't date her.

 

This is just a rant. You probably drove those 3 girls to white guys because they saw how awful your confidence and attitude were.

 

We get what we project. You need to be rejected 100s of times. You need to build some muscle. Stop arguing atttactive white girls need to step in your shoes, step into "white guy" shoes. Get some muscle.

 

You need to try meetups and less pressure filled environments to allow your strengths to shine. You need to project your positive energy and kindness and a touch of danger or mystery (not gang or criminally related). You need to bat within your league and drop your delusions unless you seriously improve your outlook. I know you're suffering a bad breakup. Take your time and get angry at some heavy weights.

 

If it makes you feel better, i agree, you're right, about all of it. It isn't fair. So DO something about it.

[Bigcitydreamer]

I have to agree with the majority in this thread that you are over estimating the importance of race.. I'm an attractive (I like to think lol) white girl from Canada. I grew up in Ottawa and have lived in several Canadian cities and it seems to me that white girls do like Asian guys, me being one of them. My most recent crush is asian, I find him super attractive. He is pretty tall 5ft9 and does have a good job but regardless of race I like guys with decent careers as I have worked hard for my career so I relate to people who had to do the same. My sisters best friend is an absolute stunner and her bf is a short asian dude. All around me people are pairing up with people from other races/cultures. It's the norm these days especially in Canada.

 

So my recommendation is be confident in who you are because there are plenty of girls who don't reject people based on their race. An attractive guy is attractive regardless of race.

[S_A]

I do believe that women tend to not find Asian men as attractive as men from other races. It's not because Asian men are ugly, but IMO women tend to consider them as being less masculine.

 

With that said, I have definitely seen an increase of Asian men with white women in Los Angeles. I would not say it's more common than White men with Hispanic women of course, but I'd say that Asian men and White women is more common than Black men and White women or Hispanic men and White women. This is just what I've observed in Los Angeles.

[SevenCity]

I agree with you that Asian men are too compliant and conflict-avoidant to the extent that they won't even stick up for themselves when they're being exploited or taken advantage of in some way.

 

However, I'm not like that. I grew up in all-white suburb. I grew up listening to grunge music and all my friends were white. I'm the very opposite of most Asians who grew up in urban environments and listen to r&b/rap/hiphop and like to go clubbing. When Asian people encounter me, they think I'm the whitest Asian they've ever met.

 

Add to that the fact that I'm quite intellectual in terms of my interest and I've don well in my career.

 

However, I'm not your typical compliant Asian. I'm quite adventurous and I play the guitar and the piano and I like to drink and be outgoing. If you met me, you'd know what I mean.

 

The problem is, white girls just take a look at the fact that I'm Asian and won't even try to get to know me. It's racial profiling. They won't even try to get to know me before just totally writing me off as just another Asian guy just because of how I look.

 

Also, although I agree with what you said that people in general are attracted to a bit of danger and the dramatic, I don't think it's realistic for these East Asian men who have professional jobs and careers and a lot to lose to suddenly try to become gangsta. It's just not realistic and even if they attempted to do so, it'd be comically fake. I just don't see it happening.

 

Picture your typical East Asian guy. He's an account or engineer or some kinda professional and suddenly, in order to improve his sex appeal, he begins robbing convenience stores at gunpoint or forms gangs to sell drugs. Honestly, that's just not realistic. It's just not gonna happen.

 

 

 

You know, oddly enough, I don't hate white men like you. Although white men steal Asian women away from us, it's also the same white men who have served as mentors in my career and gave me a chance to succeed when others did not.

 

I cannot bring myself to hate white men. Men are men and will do what their nature entitles them to do.

 

I blame more Asian women for having low self-esteem and hating on Asian men and selling out. After all, women are the gatekeepers of sex.

 

 

 

The fact that you're fillipino (which I regard as Asian) and half latina, you're not the typical anglo-saxon girl who won't date Asian guys.

 

Well I'm glad you don't hate me, I don't hate you either (though I'm currently angry at all Asians for creating a woman who would completely steal my heart then stomp on it but I'll get past this).

 

I can't take credit for anything other white guys did either, just what I did.

 

I get your frustration. My maybe ex would only date white guys and was not attracted to Asian men at all. I wonder if the fathers are rougher and it ruins their view of asian men in general?

 

In any case, I would not be so concerned with landing a white chick. In my experience they tend to be more trouble than they are worth. Instead, be open to anyone and see where it goes. As smooth as you think you are, I'm sure some of your frustrations can be read by women. Like men, they don't like to take the blame for something with which they had no part.

 

Are you getting any bites at all from other women?

 

 

OLD is favored towards women. Even in the animal kingdom they have the advantage (sans the peacock). I'm not looking forward to it as there are likely a ton of younger, taller guys I'll be competing with.

 

Nothing you can do except be the best you you can be.

[S_A]

Asian men are attractive. The OP's attitude is not.

 

I believe the OP is justified in feeling frustrated about it though. What he is feeling is not made up and the challenges for Asian men are definitely real.

[Lady2163]

Filipinos are on average much shorter than most other types of Asian men and are some of the shortest men on Earth.

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_average_human_height_worldwide

 

The Philippines are a poorer country. And my Filipino friends who have gone there say the women look almost anorexic.

 

This is what I mean. There's no point in generalizing. If you say something like "Filipino men are more attractive to me than Chinese men ... in general." Fine. But to strike an entire race?

 

I should have indicated that most/many educated upper middle class Filipnos are my height or taller. It does have to do with health and nutrition. That said, I know there is a huge percentage of the population that is poor.

[Sparkliciouss]

White Canadian woman here who's open to dating Asian Men, and who has actually lived in Asia.

 

First off, North-East Asians generally are not that much shorter than Whites. This might come as a shock but it's true. The average height in South Korea is 5' 8" which is the same as Portugal and Spain and also includes old people. There short and tall people in every race. A lot of Asians raised in the west are around 6'0". Also in general white people are shorter than black people. Does that mean white guys should feel bad?

 

About Asian guys being less masculine, it really depends. 1st and 2nd generation Asian-Americans/Asian-Canadians tend to be less athletic. But this is changing as the immigrants from Asian countries are becoming more wealthy. But in the past a lot of them were poor. Imagine if your parents were poor and you grew up with the idea that the only way to live a better life was to study hard and become a banker, doctor, or a lawyer. But that's what all people did when they came to Canada or America. Now with the more wealthy Asians coming over you get all types. Like in high school the captain of the math team was Asian also on the hockey team.

 

Also height isn't a dealbreaker for every woman. For some it is, but you could just as easily avoid someone who doesn't respect you because of your height. When I worked in Taiwan, one of my co-workers a Taiwanese guy who was 5'5" (which is short even for a local guy) but I could still consider him to be attractive and would have easily asked him out had I not been engaged back home. Why? It eventually came down to personality: intelligence, confidence, humor. Also the fact that he worked out fairly regularly and dressed nicely helped.

 

That said, I do agree with the idea that Asian guys get a tough break from the media and always get portrayed as nerds. It's interesting to note though that before WW2, the first male sex symbol in Hollywood was of Japanese descent: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sessue_Hayakawa BUT while he was portrayed as being dominant and masculine, he was also made out to be a villain/cheater. So yeah Asian guys get a tough time: they're either too nerdy, villains, or cheaters who are unfaithful to women.

 

Also, I'm not going to sugarcoat this but Asian guys can be pretty lazy when it comes to working out and taking care of themselves. And I've noticed at least living in three different Asian countries (Japan, Korea, and Taiwan) that SOME Asian guys would rather go drinking with their guy friends than actually investing the time in a relationship, that is until it's time for them to get married. I mean you can't always count on girls to approach you, YOU have to at least meet us half way. Please don't take this the wrong way.

 

Another thing and I hope this isn't too offensive, there certainly IS a subset of Asian women who for some reason or another love to find fault with Asian men. In Taiwan I had some girls ask if I had any unmarried Male relatives The conversation went like this:

 

- Hi, Sparkliciouss, do you have any single brothers or guy friends? I want to marry/date a foreign (meaning anything but East Asian) guy!

 

Me: Why? What's wrong with Asian men? I'm not saying that nobody should date interracially but there are good people in every race.

 

- Because Western guys are more open.

 

Me: What about Joe (a mutual Asian-American coincidence)? He's third-generation Chinese-American.

 

- Asian-American guys aren't independent

 

Me: He owns a startup and makes a quarter of a million every year.

 

- Then he's just greedy, probably. Besides, Asian guys are too skinny. I like guys with muscles.

 

Me: Have you seen him? He's in great shape, 6'3" and played football in college.

 

- Well the tall look doesn't suit Asian guys. Besides, if he has to work out to feel good about himself he's probably insecure. Also, Asian men are sexist and conservative.

 

Me: There are people like that in every race. Just find someone who isn't.

 

- [Goes on to find a few more reasons why she hates Asian guys, then procedes to ask about Black and Latin-American guys]

 

Me: [Gives up in disgust]

 

====

 

Anyhow, yes there are things that are unfair to Asian men in the dating world. This doesn't mean that Asian men are unattractive, just that there is probably an implicit bias against them.

 

At the end of the day though a lot of it just comes down to taking marginally good care of yourself and having a good attitude personality (be confident, have a sense of humour). You will find a lot of women who are able to look beyond race if you are willing to do so yourself.

 

Sorry for the long rant. I saw this and decided to register and post. I just wanted to give you my two cents.

Edited July 14, 2016 by Sparkliciouss

[offwithhishead]

I think East Asians are just fine...I used to have a soft spot for mixed East Asian / Caucasian because the first guy that I got madly attached to was one of those (his dad was 100% Asian, white mom).

 

Many women like / prefer the thinner look. I'm personally perfectly ok with it, so as many gfs on mine.

 

To be completely honest for me (may not apply for others!) the two ''negatives'' with East Asian men are 1) the height (which will not be an issue for a short woman) 2) very different culture (which again will not be an issue for some, and does not apply if you are raised in a Western country)

 

OK the thing is, and this is gonna sound nazi-ish but in my opinion, half-asian/half-white people are pretty much just white. Even Asian girls who hate Asian guys go nuts for half-asian guys.

 

As for the height thing, I disagree that shorter girls would date a short Asian guy. Short girls can date guys much taller than her. I've seen a 5'1 Asian girl date a 6'2 white guy before. It looks weird but she obviously is getting a real kick out of it. So why settle for a 5'6 short asian dude when she can get a 6'2 white guy?

 

 

I have to agree with the majority in this thread that you are over estimating the importance of race.. I'm an attractive (I like to think lol) white girl from Canada. I grew up in Ottawa and have lived in several Canadian cities and it seems to me that white girls do like Asian guys, me being one of them. My most recent crush is asian, I find him super attractive. He is pretty tall 5ft9 and does have a good job but regardless of race I like guys with decent careers as I have worked hard for my career so I relate to people who had to do the same. My sisters best friend is an absolute stunner and her bf is a short asian dude. All around me people are pairing up with people from other races/cultures. It's the norm these days especially in Canada.

 

So my recommendation is be confident in who you are because there are plenty of girls who don't reject people based on their race. An attractive guy is attractive regardless of race.

 

I'm already 33 years old. I've tried to meet girls through social circle, meetup events, and online dating. I've had a few relationships that didn't work out mainly because I have a real hard time getting dates. So when a girl does agree to date me, I try really hard to make it into a relationship even though we both kinda know there's not much chemistry between us. The last girl I dated, she was super traditional and she just wanted to get hitched and start a family and I wasn't comfortable with that. Not that I have commitment issues but I didn't feel the chemistry with her and I didn't want to commit to someone who I didn't have strong feelings for her.

 

My friends and coworkers like me and think I'm a great guy. They can't understand how I'm still single. I'm smart, successful, kind to others. I have interesting hobbies and interests. I can hold good conversations with most people.

 

I may not seem like a nice guy to you guys, especially spewing stuff about race online but I'm only doing this because I can't think of any reason why I can't get dates and why so few girls are interested in me. So I have to attribute it to race.

 

I'm not saying I don't have flaws but I don't think my strengths far outweigh my flaws and I've seen girls date worse guys than me.

 

I am not a racist. But I'm running out of ideas here.

 

Well I'm glad you don't hate me, I don't hate you either (though I'm currently angry at all Asians for creating a woman who would completely steal my heart then stomp on it but I'll get past this).

 

I can't take credit for anything other white guys did either, just what I did.

 

I get your frustration. My maybe ex would only date white guys and was not attracted to Asian men at all. I wonder if the fathers are rougher and it ruins their view of asian men in general?

 

In any case, I would not be so concerned with landing a white chick. In my experience they tend to be more trouble than they are worth. Instead, be open to anyone and see where it goes. As smooth as you think you are, I'm sure some of your frustrations can be read by women. Like men, they don't like to take the blame for something with which they had no part.

 

Are you getting any bites at all from other women?

 

 

OLD is favored towards women. Even in the animal kingdom they have the advantage (sans the peacock). I'm not looking forward to it as there are likely a ton of younger, taller guys I'll be competing with.

 

Nothing you can do except be the best you you can be.

 

I don't get bites from women period. Regardless of race. And I have friends and colleagues from all walks of life. Girls think I'm a good guy and say they can't understand why I'm single but then they personally would never date me.

 

Asian girls are full of trouble too. They're very hard to approach, even if you're a gentlemen about it. But if you're a tall white guy, they're smitten when you approach them. When an Asian guy does it, they get all defensive.

 

Girls tell me my approach is too soft and not aggressive enough. I've approached girls in an persistent way before and that was a disaster. So nothing works. If I'm too aggressive, I'm a creepy Asian dude. If I'm too soft, then it means I don't have enough confidence. I can't win.

 

Whereas a tall white guy approaching an asian girl, if he's persistent, he wins. If he's too cautious, he still wins because aww he's so cute.

 

White Canadian woman here who's open to dating Asian Men, and who has actually lived in Asia.

 

First off, North-East Asians generally are not that much shorter than Whites. This might come as a shock but it's true. The average height in South Korea is 5' 8" which is the same as Portugal and Spain and also includes old people. There short and tall people in every race. A lot of Asians raised in the west are around 6'0". Also in general white people are shorter than black people. Does that mean white guys should feel bad?

 

About Asian guys being less masculine, it really depends. 1st and 2nd generation Asian-Americans/Asian-Canadians tend to be less athletic. But this is changing as the immigrants from Asian countries are becoming more wealthy. But in the past a lot of them were poor. Imagine if your parents were poor and you grew up with the idea that the only way to live a better life was to study hard and become a banker, doctor, or a lawyer. But that's what all people did when they came to Canada or America. Now with the more wealthy Asians coming over you get all types. Like in high school the captain of the math team was Asian also on the hockey team.

 

Also height isn't a dealbreaker for every woman. For some it is, but you could just as easily avoid someone who doesn't respect you because of your height. When I worked in Taiwan, one of my co-workers a Taiwanese guy who was 5'5" (which is short even for a local guy) but I could still consider him to be attractive and would have easily asked him out had I not been engaged back home. Why? It eventually came down to personality: intelligence, confidence, humor. Also the fact that he worked out fairly regularly and dressed nicely helped.

 

That said, I do agree with the idea that Asian guys get a tough break from the media and always get portrayed as nerds. It's interesting to note though that before WW2, the first male sex symbol in Hollywood was of Japanese descent: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sessue_Hayakawa BUT while he was portrayed as being dominant and masculine, he was also made out to be a villain/cheater. So yeah Asian guys get a tough time: they're either too nerdy, villains, or cheaters who are unfaithful to women.

 

Also, I'm not going to sugarcoat this but Asian guys can be pretty lazy when it comes to working out and taking care of themselves. And I've noticed at least living in three different Asian countries (Japan, Korea, and Taiwan) that SOME Asian guys would rather go drinking with their guy friends than actually investing the time in a relationship, that is until it's time for them to get married. I mean you can't always count on girls to approach you, YOU have to at least meet us half way. Please don't take this the wrong way.

 

Another thing and I hope this isn't too offensive, there certainly IS a subset of Asian women who for some reason or another love to find fault with Asian men. In Taiwan I had some girls ask if I had any unmarried Male relatives The conversation went like this:

 

- Hi, Sparkliciouss, do you have any single brothers or guy friends? I want to marry/date a foreign (meaning anything but East Asian) guy!

 

Me: Why? What's wrong with Asian men? I'm not saying that nobody should date interracially but there are good people in every race.

 

- Because Western guys are more open.

 

Me: What about Joe (a mutual Asian-American coincidence)? He's third-generation Chinese-American.

 

- Asian-American guys aren't independent

 

Me: He owns a startup and makes a quarter of a million every year.

 

- Then he's just greedy, probably. Besides, Asian guys are too skinny. I like guys with muscles.

 

Me: Have you seen him? He's in great shape, 6'3" and played football in college.

 

- Well the tall look doesn't suit Asian guys. Besides, if he has to work out to feel good about himself he's probably insecure. Also, Asian men are sexist and conservative.

 

Me: There are people like that in every race. Just find someone who isn't.

 

- [Goes on to find a few more reasons why she hates Asian guys, then procedes to ask about Black and Latin-American guys]

 

Me: [Gives up in disgust]

 

====

 

Anyhow, yes there are things that are unfair to Asian men in the dating world. This doesn't mean that Asian men are unattractive, just that there is probably an implicit bias against them.

 

At the end of the day though a lot of it just comes down to taking marginally good care of yourself and having a good attitude personality (be confident, have a sense of humour). You will find a lot of women who are able to look beyond race if you are willing to do so yourself.

 

Sorry for the long rant. I saw this and decided to register and post. I just wanted to give you my two cents.

 

That conversation you had with the Taiwanese girl....I've heard that before too. That's how at least 50% of Asian girls think.

 

You could have an Asian guy close to perfect but they will find fault with him. They have a strong hate towards Asian guys.

 

I remember once meeting an Asian girl. We went on a date. Then she said she couldn't see me anymore. Why? Because when she was younger, some Asian dude harassed her physically and she's been scarred since.

 

Notice how if a white girl is sexually harrassed by a white guy, it doesn't mean she won't stop dating ALL white guys. But for an Asian girl, she will only date white guys from then on cause ONE douchebag Asian guy harassed her. Which is actually quite odd because you've got a lot of American servicemen in Asia who actually do go around being borderline harrassing to ASian girls. This was especially prevalent after WW2 when the Japanese economy was in ruins and the only way for women to make ends meet was to "service" the American servicemen. This happened in South Korea as well and maybe Taiwan too.

 

Yet, Asian guys in North America have the lowest crime rates out of all races but hey, if one of us ever harrasses an Asian girl, she will hate ALL asian men forever. Go figure.

[Els]

I believe the OP is justified in feeling frustrated about it though. What he is feeling is not made up and the challenges for Asian men are definitely real.

 

As I've said, the vast majority of Asian men I know here have gfs/wives and appear to be pretty happy. Many of them migrated here of their own accord, even when they were (gasp!) single. And found a gf/wife here. So I'm skeptical about how awful it must be to be an Asian man living in a Caucasian country. Of course migration isn't easy, and there are issues with cultural differences, but those affect migrants of all races and both genders, not just Asian men.

 

Anyway, even assuming what you said is true (which might be the case, but really not to the extent that the OP is making it out to be), everyone faces challenges in some aspect of life or another. We can spend hours and hours complaining about it... or we can focus on our advantages and work on the disadvantages. Besides, it's ludicrous for the OP to say he would've been better off if his parents had never migrated to Canada. Except for the wealthy, life is EXTREMELY hard for men in China, including dating (the male/female ratio in China is very skewed, and traditionally a man's worth there is based solely on his wallet).

Edited July 14, 2016 by Elswyth

[Sparkliciouss]

That conversation you had with the Taiwanese girl....I've heard that before too. That's how at least 50% of Asian girls think.

 

I don't think it's nearly that many. From what I've noitced it's just that the girls who do think that way from what I've noticed always seem to be involved in a lot of political activism. And they tend to be the kind of girls who are liberal on other issues so they can't be dismissed as "racist" for hating Asian guys. As a result their voice gets heard a lot more.

 

I remember once meeting an Asian girl. We went on a date. Then she said she couldn't see me anymore. Why? Because when she was younger, some Asian dude harassed her physically and she's been scarred since.

 

Notice how if a white girl is sexually harrassed by a white guy, it doesn't mean she won't stop dating ALL white guys. But for an Asian girl, she will only date white guys from then on cause ONE douchebag Asian guy harassed her. Which is actually quite odd because you've got a lot of American servicemen in Asia who actually do go around being borderline harrassing to ASian girls.

 

I can completely sympathize with what you're feeling here. Some people love to say that Asian men are sexist when actually what I've seen is that white guys who date asian women are on average probably more sexist. I'm not knocking ALL white guys here, but I observed during my time in Asia it was the WHITE AND BLACK guys who would say sexist things. If you ask an Asian man why he's attracted to a girl you'd hear him say thinks like "She's got a nice face/body" or "She's smart and kind, and we share the same hobbies". Whereas the white guys would almost universally say things like "Because Asian girls are submissive" or "Because Asian women naturally belong to white men".

[offwithhishead]

As I've said, the vast majority of Asian men I know here have gfs/wives and appear to be pretty happy. Many of them migrated here of their own accord, even when they were (gasp!) single. And found a gf/wife here. So I'm skeptical about how awful it must be to be an Asian man living in a Caucasian country. Of course migration isn't easy, and there are issues with cultural differences, but those affect migrants of all races and both genders, not just Asian men.

 

Anyway, even assuming what you said is true (which might be the case, but really not to the extent that the OP is making it out to be), everyone faces challenges in some aspect of life or another. We can spend hours and hours complaining about it... or we can focus on our advantages and work on the disadvantages. Besides, it's ludicrous for the OP to say he would've been better off if his parents had never migrated to Canada. Except for the wealthy, life is EXTREMELY hard for men in China, including dating (the male/female ratio in China is very skewed, and traditionally a man's worth there is based solely on his wallet).

 

The Asian guys you're talking about who have wives/gfs, they are usually first generation immigrants or Fobs. I'm talking more about the Asian males who grew up in the US/Canada and have no real connection with Asia. And there are a sea of these males who are single. Go to any big city with lots of Asians like San Francisco and Toronto. There are so many Asian-American/Canadian males who can't find a girl while their female counterparts walk around town hand in hand with white guys.

 

Of course the Asian FOBs you're talking about are already hitched. They probably met in China and decided to immigrate to Canada/US together.

 

I spend hours complaining about it because I've spent even more hours trying to meet and date girls, all with little success.

 

As for men in China having a hard time, I do not deny that. However, it is almost simpler if a man's worth is determined by his wealth. I am by no means wealthy but I'm doing pretty well for myself. I'm not trying to brag about this. And my success has been largely self-made, not inherited like a lot of the nouveau rich in China. I've worked hard for my success and it's the one area in my life I'm very proud of. But I don't go around bragging about it. And it's not like it matters. Women don't care.

 

An asian girl would rather date the tall cute white guy who works at Starbucks than me. Obviously, success and being established in life doesn't matter.

 

I have only ONE serious flaw that I can think of. I'm short. I'm 5'5 which even by Asian males standards is short. I'm not ugly. I'm average looking. I have other flaws but they're minor and I think overall, I'm a good person. But girls aren't interested.

[offwithhishead]

I don't think it's nearly that many. From what I've noitced it's just that the girls who do think that way from what I've noticed always seem to be involved in a lot of political activism. And they tend to be the kind of girls who are liberal on other issues so they can't be dismissed as "racist" for hating Asian guys. As a result their voice gets heard a lot more.

 

 

 

I can completely sympathize with what you're feeling here. Some people love to say that Asian men are sexist when actually what I've seen is that white guys who date asian women are on average probably more sexist. I'm not knocking ALL white guys here, but I observed during my time in Asia it was the WHITE AND BLACK guys who would say sexist things. If you ask an Asian man why he's attracted to a girl you'd hear him say thinks like "She's got a nice face/body" or "She's smart and kind, and we share the same hobbies". Whereas the white guys would almost universally say things like "Because Asian girls are submissive" or "Because Asian women naturally belong to white men".

 

The Asian girls feel that way even if they aren't vocal about it. It's how they feel inside. Asian men can't do anything right in their eyes.

 

Yah I have no doubt White men in Asia think of themselves as the colonial masters and out to conquer the Asian female. A lot of them, their primary motivation to go to Asia is so they can meet Asian girls.

 

But the thing is, I still largely blame Asian women for this. I hate to say this but men are men. They're after sex and they will all try to snag the prettiest girl they can. It's in our nature.

 

Women, on the other hand, are the gatekeepers of sex. The fact that there are so many Asian female/White guy couples isn't just cause the white guy is aggressive and thinks Asian girls are easy conquest, but because Asian girls love white guys too. The affection is reciprocal.

 

There are Asian girls from Asia who don't really have to go to the west to study anymore but they do so for the similar reasons as why white guys go to Asia. They want to meet and date white men.

 

I once dated this Chinese girl from China. Came to Canada to do her masters. Being a Chiense-Canadian guy, I thought she would think I'm more interesting. Wrong! She told a mutual friend of ours, "I didn't come all the way to Canada just to date another Chinese guy." Those were her words.

 

She is now dating a white guy who wears the same t-shirt and shorts all the time and drives a car that hasn't been washed on the inside probably ever. He's your typical fratty white guy but he's tall and has a good build and oh yah, he's got a "great personality."

[Els]

The Asian guys you're talking about who have wives/gfs, they are usually first generation immigrants or Fobs. I'm talking more about the Asian males who grew up in the US/Canada and have no real connection with Asia. And there are a sea of these males who are single. Go to any big city with lots of Asians like San Francisco and Toronto. There are so many Asian-American/Canadian males who can't find a girl while their female counterparts walk around town hand in hand with white guys.

 

Why do you think first generation immigrants have a leg up compared to 2nd and 3rd generation ones? Are you against dating first generation immigrants?

 

Of course the Asian FOBs you're talking about are already hitched. They probably met in China and decided to immigrate to Canada/US together.

 

Those aren't the countries I'm talking about, but similar enough I suppose. Anyway no, most of them met here, not in Asia.

 

As for men in China having a hard time, I do not deny that. However, it is almost simpler if a man's worth is determined by his wealth. I am by no means wealthy but I'm doing pretty well for myself. I'm not trying to brag about this. And my success has been largely self-made, not inherited like a lot of the nouveau rich in China.

 

Do you think you would have been equally successful were it not for the educational and career opportunities afforded to you in Canada?

 

An asian girl would rather date the tall cute white guy who works at Starbucks than me. Obviously, success and being established in life doesn't matter.

 

Not the case from my experience.

 

I have only ONE serious flaw that I can think of. I'm short. I'm 5'5 which even by Asian males standards is short. I'm not ugly. I'm average looking. I have other flaws but they're minor and I think overall, I'm a good person. But girls aren't interested.

 

Oh. Well... yeah, 5'5" is pretty short even by East Asian standards, I won't lie. Do you work out?

[offwithhishead]

Why do you think first generation immigrants have a leg up compared to 2nd and 3rd generation ones? Are you against dating first generation immigrants?

 

 

Not at all. Read my post above. I dated this girl from China who came to Canada to do her masters degree.

 

 

Do you think you would have been equally successful were it not for the educational and career opportunities afforded to you in Canada?

 

 

Despite all the disadvantages I face, I am a patriotic Canadian. I've said this before many times. Those same white men who have such an easy time dating Asian girls are the same white guys who gave me lots of opportunities that I probably wouldn't have had in China. Many of my former bosses and colleagues were white men and they had a hand in making me successful. I appreciate that a lot.

 

Like I said, the fault is largely with Asian women. I've never met a white guy who likes Asian girls but hates Asian guys. Whereas you'll find plenty of Asian girls with white guys PRECISELY because they hate Asian guys.

 

 

 

Oh. Well... yeah, 5'5" is pretty short even by East Asian standards, I won't lie. Do you work out?

 

Yes. My body type is athletic. I'm not muscular but I'm not thin/scrawny/weak looking either. I'm toned and I buy clothes that fit me well. I make sure I am well groomed. I'm not handsome but I'm not ugly either.

 

I have a ton of good friends. I'm not the life of the party but I'm not a wallflower either. I'm good at networking and socializing with people. People in general like me. I like to play guitar in my free time and watch historical documentaries and have drinks and good conversation with friends. I know a lot about politics and the economy and what's going on in the world. I think I can be charming in my own way. I'm not mean spirited. I'm kind and generous to my friends and relatives. I'm overall a polite, kind person.

 

Yet, Asian girls hate me.

[Imported]

OP, maybe it's just you.

 

edit: I mean, you sound really negative and who the **** likes that.

Edited July 14, 2016 by Imported

[offwithhishead]

OP, maybe it's just you.

 

edit: I mean, you sound really negative and who the **** likes that.

 

If you've read about my experiences, you'd see why I'm so negative.

[jen1447]

Sorry if this rubs anyone the wrong way but I think OP may have a legit beef to some extent, within a certain context. I don't really lay blame so to speak bc ppl have their preferences and that's that but I think the trends do exist. An important distinction tho is they exist within the segment of any population that's inclined to interracial relationships to begin with, and PC or no, I don't think that's actually a very high percentage. Not negligible, but just by looking around you you can see that ppl still interact romantically within their own race primarily.

 

So, for the interracial inclined ....

 

I saw some 'racial matrix' type thing a while ago that purported to measure each basic race and gender's "stock in trade" - e.g. their appeal to other races, based on a very basic observation of trends. The races per se were defined very broadly and were only white, black, and 'Asian,' (I think they used the word "Mongoloid" but somehow that sounds dismissive to me so I'll stick w/ Asian.)

 

Findings were that the highest stock in trade was held by white/females and black/males, followed closely by Asian/females. At the bottom were Asian/males, topped slightly by black/females. White/males were in the middle.

 

Bscly white/females and black/males had universal advantages, and Asian/males had universal disadvantages. (Not surprisingly the predominant interracial hookup was between white/females and black/males.)

 

I don't really vouch for the ethics or scientific validity of this 'matrix' (and I don't recall what it was called so I can't cite it), but very generally it corresponds to my own observations, fwiw.

 

I don't think any statement so simple as "no one likes Asian men" is legit, but very generally I do think Asian men have more challenges with women overall than anyone else.

Edited July 15, 2016 by jen1447

[SwordofFlame]

Here's an interesting article on interracial dating.

 

http://tierneylab.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/04/13/single-female-seeking-same-race-male/

 

For equal success with a white woman, an African-American needs to earn an additional $154,000; a Hispanic man needs $77,000; an Asian needs $247,000.

[thefooloftheyear]

I barely watch any TV, but as I was flipping through the channels. I happened to notice a ridiculously stupid sitcom known as "Two Broke Girls"....TBH, if it wasn't for the ample tits of the brunette on the show, I would have blown right past it.....however.....

 

They had an Asian guy on there....All these girls did was rip on him...Nerdy, small and short, kinda dumpy looking and dressing.....and all the guy does is cry in his beer....

 

It got me thinking of this thread....but whatever...

 

I do business with a fair amount of Asian men...Couple of things I noticed...Not putting anyone down, just observations...(I think the OP does have a legit beef,btw)...

 

Anyway...here is what I can tell you about most of these guys..the ones I interact with anyway...

 

Aside from being small people, they have really small hands....I mean, I do have some big mitts, but a handshake to me feels like three #2 pencils,,,Smaller and less robust than most women..Seems like a small detail, but there are all types of small details that turn the opposite sex off...maybe this is one.?

 

Also, many of these guys have short tempers, are prone to sometimes petulance if things don't go their way... They just don't seem to have the type of "quiet confidence" that most women crave...I know that's kind of an intangible thing, but I do notice it...In fact, of all the one's I know( a lot of them Korean), the one's with Korean wives, the wife just completely dominates the man. In fact, the women will often get directly involved in these decisions, almost to a point of embarrassing the poor guy....I can see how an American woman isn't going to feel good about that arrangement...They may not like an overly controlling type of guy, but they probably don't want a guy that needs to be treated and led around like a little kid..

 

Just a few thoughts...Dont flame me....I am not making judgements, just observations based on years of real world experience...

 

TFY

[preraph]

I think what's going on is two-fold. First of all, possibly the majority of people do not want to date outside their race, and that seems to be the norm, though it is changing more every day.

 

The attraction men have for Asian women stems from a number of things. First of all, there is this myth built up around them having to do with sex that fuels curiosity, and then the myth of being more conventional and subservient to men. Notice I call that a myth, but here in the US, that is certainly some hyperbole that goes around. Second, they are usually quite petite and just in general, much as a lot of women would most prefer a tall man, many men would prefer a petite woman.

 

So it's not that Asian men are overly excluded. It's that Asian women have acquired fetish status for multiple reasons. Asian men are experience about the same dating desirability as any man of any other culture who isn't six foot tall and isn't of the same race. It does suck, I agree, to have your best matches being siphoned off like that, but all the short guys in the US feel the same way about all short women dating tall men. You're in the same club, I'm afraid. No one ever said love (or sex) was fair and equitable.

[JuneJulySeptember]

In a sense (and you may have to be as old as me to appreciate this), part of me likes being the underdog now.

 

Why the h@ll would you want the advantage of being privileged in a game that's shallow and racist anyway? "Oh yea. I wish I was white and tall so that I could date women who would reject me if I was shorter and had slanted eyes. Oh yeah. All day long I wish that."

 

So, white men are more desirable than Asian men. That's a fact here. But normal sized Asian men are more desirable than, say ... dwarf men. That's a fact right? Well HOORAY for that!

 

How far do you have to go down the ladder before your human/dating worth is higher than the next f@cking shmuck?

 

So, a 6'2" white male has sex with 35 hot women and a short Asian guy has sex with 3 average ones over the course of their lives. Will they get points for that in the afterlife? Will they inscribe those numbers on their tombstones?

 

Yea ... this is what life is about.

Edited July 16, 2016 by JuneJulySeptember