Imported Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 In the movie "Last of the Mohicans" The last Mohican was a white guy. No, really, I am happy with how I turned out, but all you pure white mither****er dudes should really thank Hollywood. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 You even said being 5'5 is a major disadvantage, even for dating Asian girls. What exactly is a laid-back attitude about relationships? Do you mean take rejection in stride? A rejection is a rejection. I went on a date today. Conversation just flowed. I thought we were getting along great. I asked her towards the end of the date why she decided to meet up with me and what she thinks of me. She said I liked what I wrote to her in my messages to her online and she thinks I'm a good guy. But ya, I'm not gonna see her again because she's got a buncha other options. How exactly am I supposed to be "laid-back" about that? I'm terribly disappointed. It's not like I behaved like a douchebag or I was cheap or I was drunk or rude. A white guy can do that on a first date and still manage to bed an Asian girl by the 3rd date. As for me, I won't even get a 2nd date. I was a gentlemen to her. I guided her when we had to jaywalk across a busy street. I listened to her and we had good conversation. But I won't get a 2nd date because either she's got some white guy lined up or she's got some taller Asian guy lined up. Don't ask questions like that on a date. It comes off as really insecure and is a total turn off. Obviously she is open to dating Asian men if she went on a date with you. Obviously she is open to dating Asian men who are shorter if she went on a date with you. So if she declined a second date with you, it had nothing to do with those two things and was more likely something that happened on the date or that you did on the date that turned her off. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Revolver Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 I've said it before, when you look at the entertainment industry Asian guys are usually protrayed one of 2 ways in regards to women 1.) Asexual(much more so than black or white male characters) 2.)When it's acknowledged that they have a penis and like women it's seen as one big joke/punchline. "Lol look at how awkward ken is trying to ask her out" There's basically no balance. When was the last time you saw the Asian dude in the movie as the player or the one women lusted after? Exactly Link to post Share on other sites
JC1790 Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 I'm a 21 year old East Asian man who lives in the state of California, and the question in the title has troubled me for quite some time now. I often see East Asian women with White men but rarely the reverse (i.e., East Asian men with White women), and I rarely see East Asian men with women of other non-Asian backgrounds. The aforementioned observations and the findings of a few studies on the relationship between race and dating have led me to conclude that East Asian men are considered less attractive to women. I'm on the shorter end of "average height" (North American standards) at 5'9", but I keep myself in reasonably good shape and abstain from drugs and alcohol. I'm also a student at a reputable university, and I consider myself to be fairly well-educated. Thus, I do not believe that my struggles with dating are due to my life's being a total mess. I do not know whether my struggles with dating are due to my race or some other reason. However, it seems fair to conclude that East Asian men are at disadvantage in dating. So, why do you believe that East Asian men are considered less attractive to women? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 I don't know but there was a thread about this very same thing going yesterday. Maybe you can find it. Good luck! Here it is: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/search/587787-east-asian-men-why-we-unattractive Link to post Share on other sites
DramaInPajamas Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 (edited) I'm a 21 year old East Asian man who lives in the state of California, and the question in the title has troubled me for quite some time now. I often see East Asian women with White men but rarely the reverse (i.e., East Asian men with White women), and I rarely see East Asian men with women of other non-Asian backgrounds. The aforementioned observations and the findings of a few studies on the relationship between race and dating have led me to conclude that East Asian men are considered less attractive to women. I'm on the shorter end of "average height" (North American standards) at 5'9", but I keep myself in reasonably good shape and abstain from drugs and alcohol. I'm also a student at a reputable university, and I consider myself to be fairly well-educated. Thus, I do not believe that my struggles with dating are due to my life's being a total mess. I do not know whether my struggles with dating are due to my race or some other reason. However, it seems fair to conclude that East Asian men are at disadvantage in dating. So, why do you believe that East Asian men are considered less attractive to women? By east Asian do you mean Indian sub continent or far east Asia? Edited July 18, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator added quote ~6 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 When was the last time you saw the Asian dude in the movie as the player or the one women lusted after? Sessue Hayakawa (早川 雪洲 Hayakawa Sesshū?, June 10, 1889 – November 23, 1973) was a Japanese actor who starred in American, French, German, British, and Japanese films.[2] Hayakawa was one of the biggest stars in Hollywood during the silent era of the 1910s and 1920s.[3] He was the first actor of Asian descent to find stardom as a leading man in the United States and Europe. His "broodingly handsome"[4] good looks and typecasting as an exotic villain with sexual dominance made him a heartthrob among American women during a time of racial discrimination, and he became the first male sex symbol of Hollywood. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sessue_Hayakawa 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JC1790 Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 By east Asian do you mean Indian sub continent or far east Asia? If far East Asian includes people of Korean, Chinese, and Japanese descent, then I meant far East Asian. I was not referring to people who originated from the Indian subcontinent. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 I'm a 21 year old East Asian man who lives in the state of California, and the question in the title has troubled me for quite some time now. I often see East Asian women with White men but rarely the reverse (i.e., East Asian men with White women), and I rarely see East Asian men with women of other non-Asian backgrounds. The aforementioned observations and the findings of a few studies on the relationship between race and dating have led me to conclude that East Asian men are considered less attractive to women. I'm on the shorter end of "average height" (North American standards) at 5'9", but I keep myself in reasonably good shape and abstain from drugs and alcohol. I'm also a student at a reputable university, and I consider myself to be fairly well-educated. Thus, I do not believe that my struggles with dating are due to my life's being a total mess. I do not know whether my struggles with dating are due to my race or some other reason. However, it seems fair to conclude that East Asian men are at disadvantage in dating. So, why do you believe that East Asian men are considered less attractive to women? Whole Wikipedia page about it - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stereotypes_of_East_Asians_in_the_United_States Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 (edited) I'm a 21 year old East Asian man who lives in the state of California, and the question in the title has troubled me for quite some time now. I often see East Asian women with White men but rarely the reverse (i.e., East Asian men with White women), and I rarely see East Asian men with women of other non-Asian backgrounds. The aforementioned observations and the findings of a few studies on the relationship between race and dating have led me to conclude that East Asian men are considered less attractive to women. I'm on the shorter end of "average height" (North American standards) at 5'9", but I keep myself in reasonably good shape and abstain from drugs and alcohol. I'm also a student at a reputable university, and I consider myself to be fairly well-educated. Thus, I do not believe that my struggles with dating are due to my life's being a total mess. I do not know whether my struggles with dating are due to my race or some other reason. However, it seems fair to conclude that East Asian men are at disadvantage in dating. So, why do you believe that East Asian men are considered less attractive to women? All you can really observe about this stuff are general trends (and the limited conclusions you can draw from them), bc at the individual level the particulars fall apart. (Asian men having more challenges dating in the west in general ≠ any particular Asian man having trouble.) That said, I think the basic issue from the women's perspective isn't actually w Asian men but w what others can offer that they can't or don't. That could be a variety of things - status, stature, culture, sexual prowess, 'exotic' looks, a more progressive general experience, etc. So theoretically it's less "ew, an Asian guy" and more "oh, that black guy makes me hot." Altho the guy in the other thread seemed to say he experienced an actual overt bias against him from Asian women. fwiw, I do find Asian women in general to be very approachable and open. I don't recall hearing much complaining about Asian men from them but it's not like Asian men are on our minds at that point anyway. Edited July 18, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator added quote ~6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author offwithhishead Posted July 18, 2016 Author Share Posted July 18, 2016 Don't ask questions like that on a date. It comes off as really insecure and is a total turn off. Obviously she is open to dating Asian men if she went on a date with you. Obviously she is open to dating Asian men who are shorter if she went on a date with you. So if she declined a second date with you, it had nothing to do with those two things and was more likely something that happened on the date or that you did on the date that turned her off. I asked that question because it was already apparent by that time that things were going downhill. Yeah I shouldn't have asked but things were already irreparable. As for the date itself, I didn't do anything wrong. We had good conversation. There were no awkward silences. Yeah I guess there was no spark but how is that my fault? How come a white guy can get away with showing up on the first date in jogging pants or being drunk/rude and being touchy feely to the point of harrassment but he can get a second date? An asian guy who does the above would be considered a piece of trash by the Asian girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 I have seen all kinds of relationships. It comes down to this....CULTURE. Many people are more comfortable within the group they belong. Not b/c it is better, but b/c it is more culturally comfortable for them. Are multi-racial relationships common where you are? Do you have a multi-cultural, accepting group of friends? I have date across all races. I have also learned that depending on where you are, dating cross-culturally will be more or less acceptable. When I say "culturally" this also includes the social stressors that exist within the community you live. Some people are open to dating, but their family, friends may not be supportive, so they don't. I don't know how you are going about dating, but don't limit yourself to any single group. Keep going after those you find attractive, but be realistic. You may not be someplace where success is likely. Also, and unfortunately, look at yourself. What do you have to offer in a relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
Author offwithhishead Posted July 18, 2016 Author Share Posted July 18, 2016 I have seen all kinds of relationships. It comes down to this....CULTURE. Many people are more comfortable within the group they belong. Not b/c it is better, but b/c it is more culturally comfortable for them. Are multi-racial relationships common where you are? Do you have a multi-cultural, accepting group of friends? I have date across all races. I have also learned that depending on where you are, dating cross-culturally will be more or less acceptable. When I say "culturally" this also includes the social stressors that exist within the community you live. Some people are open to dating, but their family, friends may not be supportive, so they don't. I don't know how you are going about dating, but don't limit yourself to any single group. Keep going after those you find attractive, but be realistic. You may not be someplace where success is likely. Also, and unfortunately, look at yourself. What do you have to offer in a relationship? Have you even read the posts in this thread? Most East Asian males who grew up in Canada/US are open to dating all races. It's the other races and even most East Asian girls who don't want to date us. You can tell us to be open all we want. If the girls don't like us, then they don't like us. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 How come a white guy can get away with showing up on the first date in jogging pants or being drunk/rude and being touchy feely to the point of harrassment but he can get a second date? This proves you are just as guilty of stereotyping if you believe this as it is not blatant a truism whatsoever... Link to post Share on other sites
Author offwithhishead Posted July 18, 2016 Author Share Posted July 18, 2016 This proves you are just as guilty of stereotyping if you believe this as it is not blatant a truism whatsoever... Go to any major city with a substantial Asian population. Go out on the street and observe the white man/asian female couples. The girl is usually slim and pretty and well-dressed but the guy is a fat slob wearing garbage clothing. Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Have you even read the posts in this thread? Most East Asian males who grew up in Canada/US are open to dating all races. It's the other races and even most East Asian girls who don't want to date us. You can tell us to be open all we want. If the girls don't like us, then they don't like us. WOW. I think you completely misread my post....no sweat. Try re-reading my post. I'm on your side. Link to post Share on other sites
Author offwithhishead Posted July 18, 2016 Author Share Posted July 18, 2016 WOW. I think you completely misread my post....no sweat. Try re-reading my post. I'm on your side. Why are you on an Asian male's side? Are you not a white man? Doesn't it make you happy that you can get Asian women easily? Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Go to any major city with a substantial Asian population. Go out on the street and observe the white man/asian female couples. The girl is usually slim and pretty and well-dressed but the guy is a fat slob wearing garbage clothing. I live in a major city with a substantial Asian population, thank you. My first boyfriend was Asian, thank you. I have actually dated a lot of Asian men... And black, and Indian, and African, and many more. You are still stereotyping. You are just in such a myopic pinhole that you can't see the reverse-discrimination you are self-perpetuating. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Why are you on an Asian male's side? Are you not a white man? Doesn't it make you happy that you can get Asian women easily? Now you are just being mean. Just because he may be a white guy doesn't make him happy that you can't get Asian women. He will still be able to get his fair share of Asian women. He just feels compassion for you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SwordofFlame Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Go to any major city with a substantial Asian population. Go out on the street and observe the white man/asian female couples. The girl is usually slim and pretty and well-dressed but the guy is a fat slob wearing garbage clothing. Absolutely not the case in NYC. The levels of attractiveness is pretty even in my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 (edited) Why are you on an Asian male's side? Are you not a white man? Doesn't it make you happy that you can get Asian women easily? Yikes. You are blowing it, man. I never said that I could get ANY women easily. In fact, it has never been "easy." But I have much more to offer than my appearance. Good luck to you, but you didn't answer any of my questions from my original post. I've always surrounded myself with an incredibly rich multi-cultural/diverse group of friends, family. For most around me, the idea of dating across cultures/ethnicity was not an issue. My family and friends....Asian, African American, Caucasian, devout Christians, atheists, agnostics, etc.... for us, it's about relationships, not the color of your skin and YES, people have preferences...that's okay too. Edited July 18, 2016 by simpleNfit Link to post Share on other sites
Author offwithhishead Posted July 18, 2016 Author Share Posted July 18, 2016 Yikes. You are blowing it, man. I never said that I could get ANY women easily. In fact, it has never been "easy." But I have much more to offer than my appearance. Good luck to you, but you didn't answer any of my questions from my original post. I've always surrounded myself with an incredibly rich multi-cultural/diverse group of friends, family. For most around me, the idea of dating across cultures/ethnicity was not an issue. My family and friends....Asian, African American, Caucasian, devout Christians, atheists, agnostics, etc.... for us, it's about relationships, not the color of your skin and YES, people have preferences...that's okay too. I have things to offer too besides my looks. Actually, looks-wise I don't have much to offer. I'm 5'5. Asian guy. Average looking. I have a good career. I play guitar and piano. I have a good social life. Good friends. I think I'm kind-hearted. If I were a white guy with these same qualities, I can get both white girls and asian girls equally. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 By East Asian, I mean Chinese/Japanese/Korean/Vietnamese. people from India/Pakistan/Bangladesh are Asian too! Link to post Share on other sites
Author offwithhishead Posted July 18, 2016 Author Share Posted July 18, 2016 Absolutely not the case in NYC. The levels of attractiveness is pretty even in my opinion. I've been to NYC. White guys with Asian girls everywhere. It's strange watching the behavior of these white guys with Asian girls. They're all shy and timid when interacting with white girls but when they're with Asian girls, suddenly all this bravado and confidence appears. It's like a transformation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author offwithhishead Posted July 18, 2016 Author Share Posted July 18, 2016 people from India/Pakistan/Bangladesh are Asian too! You guys do better than us with women. I've seen Indian men totally kill it with women of all races. East Asian men are the worst. Link to post Share on other sites
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