My son is being told things at his dad's house

[Iceshowers]

So, I'm not sure how to handle this or if I'm over thinking it. But my son's father and I have been separated/broken-up (for good. Before that, we were living as roommates) about 9+ months ago. My child (4yro) has a steady schedule for visitation for both parents (it rarely fluctuates, not court ordered). On Tuesday night, when I got him back from his father's house, he asks me

 

LO:"Mama, when you were living in papa's house, you had 5 babies.". (His father has 5 kids total, the youngest being mine).

Me: "No bebe, I only have 1 baby, and that's you."

LO: "No, I mean before you got this house, when you were living with my papa, you had 5 babies!"

Me: "No, I only have one" (at this point, he started arguing with me saying "No! you had 5")

Me: (I stopped him and said) "Papa has 5 babies, and he loves all his babies. But I only have one baby which is you only".

 

Then he went to sleep not long after. But next day, I kept replaying the conversation and thinking that maybe my child thinks I abandoned my other 4 babies, and only brought him with me. He seemed a bit disappointed after I told him he's my only one that last time. Which got me thinking maybe someone from his dad's side had told him something.

 

So I called his father and asked him if he's telling my child that his kids were mine too. His father thinks I'm delusional until I explained why I'm asking. I told him that our child feels that I abandoned my other kids, and his father says "but you did". Which made me more mad because 1: I don't have other kids and 2: I didn't abandon anyone. So I don't know if he's the one telling him things to him, by that comment he just made to me.

 

Talking to his father got me nowhere. But how do I handle grown up conversations with a 4yro?? What do I say or how do I act when he brings something like this up that he got from his Dad's house?

[CarrieT]

Talking to his father got me nowhere.

My husband's ExWife is like this.

 

But how do I handle grown up conversations with a 4yro??

You don't even try.

 

What do I say or how do I act when he brings something like this up that he got from his Dad's house?

Just be patient and do what you are doing (excluding trying to reason with his Dad). Eventually they learn the difference. My stepdaughter now hates going to her mother's house because she has learned how much her mother has lied to her over the years.

 

The kids are smart - they will figure it out on their own. They don't need us to tell 'em.