Don't have to be employed all the time, right?

[LookAtThisPOst]

I know a few bachelors, 40s and 50s, that have the luxury to have saved enough money from their younger years to not work for an extended period of time.

 

Of course it was through no fault of their own as they were victims of layoffs from companies they have been with for years and they figured, "Meh, what's the rush to get back in the rat race?"

 

So they can afford to skate here and there for months doing their own thing. Some may refer to this as early retirement even. Most they do is take up part-time work, and nothing more. Full time if they are feeling adventurous.

 

Ladies, upon hearing this from a single man you've met, would this guy be someone you'd want to date, or would he fall under the typical "Unemployed" category and un-datable?

[MidwestUSA]

I'd assume he's spending money that should be put away for retirement. He certainly isn't contributing more to it by working sporadically.

 

So, unless he has 2M cash in the bank, no less than 100 acres somewhere, and decent pensions/410Ks/IRAs waiting, I'd pass.

 

By the time you're in your late 40s, the rat race doesn't want you back. That might be their problem. Age discrimination. Of course it's not called that.

[CarrieT]

There are multiple news reports - like this one! - on how hard it is for people in their late 40s and above to even get new jobs.

 

I have a good friend who is 55 who had to give up his job on the West Coast to move back to the East to take care of his aging parents. He thought he would only be unemployed for a few weeks and it has now been a few months. I'm worried he won't be able to get a job.

 

So, no, I would say that a middle-aged person who isn't actively looking may soon find themselves permanently unable to even get a job.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I'd assume he's spending money that should be put away for retirement. He certainly isn't contributing more to it by working sporadically.

 

So, unless he has 2M cash in the bank, no less than 100 acres somewhere, and decent pensions/410Ks/IRAs waiting, I'd pass.

 

By the time you're in your late 40s, the rat race doesn't want you back. That might be their problem. Age discrimination. Of course it's not called that.

 

Pensions are being eliminated. Even Disney isn't a great place to work anymore as they eliminated pensions and interest rates for the later a barely 1%.

 

I've known people who had to dig money out of their IRAs or 401Ks after being laid off to pay bills.

 

By the time you're in your late 40s, the rat race doesn't want you back.

 

If that's the case, some of these situations are out of peoples' control.

[carhill]

OP, yeah, I know a fair amount of guys like that. The most recent was a guy who bought some machine tools from me to tinker with stuff because he likes tinkering and has time on the ranch due to caring for his elderly mother at home. He sold a successful construction company in his early 40's, bought some well-located commercial real estate (I checked) and easily lives off the rents from that and the production from the ranch which he leases out for others to run while he cares for his mother. Twice divorced with two grown children. Modest guy. That's a typical example. They fly under the 'good catch' radar because they're not flamboyant or 'living the lifestyle'. Some of the other guys I know travel or have aircraft and fly or have fishing boats and spend time on the ocean and rivers.

 

What makes them noticeable, or not, is their style. If they're quiet and modest about their successes, it's easy to fly under the radar. No gladhanding, no country club memberships, no fund-raisers for political candidates. Just folks living their lives. That's the beauty of choice.

 

In my personal experience, where women can't easily quantify or qualify the man's social and/or financial status, all else being equal, they'll choose a man whom they can qualify and quantify, for anything other than casual association. If they want things 'to go somewhere', either the man measures up or he doesn't. If his successes aren't out there, next. YMMV

[LookAtThisPOst]

I may add that all of this is not for the lack of trying.

[LookAtThisPOst]

OP, yeah, I know a fair amount of guys like that. The most recent was a guy who bought some machine tools from me to tinker with stuff because he likes tinkering and has time on the ranch due to caring for his elderly mother at home. He sold a successful construction company in his early 40's, bought some well-located commercial real estate (I checked) and easily lives off the rents from that and the production from the ranch which he leases out for others to run while he cares for his mother. Twice divorced with two grown children. Modest guy. That's a typical example. They fly under the 'good catch' radar because they're not flamboyant or 'living the lifestyle'. Some of the other guys I know travel or have aircraft and fly or have fishing boats and spend time on the ocean and rivers.

 

What makes them noticeable, or not, is their style. If they're quiet and modest about their successes, it's easy to fly under the radar. No gladhanding, no country club memberships, no fund-raisers for political candidates. Just folks living their lives. That's the beauty of choice.

 

In my personal experience, where women can't easily quantify or qualify the man's social and/or financial status, all else being equal, they'll choose a man whom they can qualify and quantify, for anything other than casual association. If they want things 'to go somewhere', either the man measures up or he doesn't. If his successes aren't out there, next. YMMV

 

If I can interpret your verbiage, Carhill, are you saying those these men are doing pretty nicely and happy doing it, but...somehow it's not "out there" or at least somewhat obvious they got a good chunk 'o change, women won't see them as dating material, yes?

 

To these women, if their situation is being DISPLAYED as ambiguous, regardless of being set for a while..at least until Soc. Security qualifying age, they aren't considered dating prospects.

[CarrieT]

I may add that all of this is not for the lack of trying.

 

That is exactly my point. No reason to adopt an attitude of - as you said - "Meh, what's the rush to get back in the rat race?" when, in fact, the attitude should be one of perseverance and persistence.

[Els]

Well... I wouldn't date someone of that age anyway regardless of their employment status... But hypothetically, if I were close to their age, I might, it depends. Everyone above 65 here gets basic payments of about $1000/month. So as long as they own their own house that has been paid for in full and have a decent nest egg, I think they'd be okay.

[LookAtThisPOst]

That is exactly my point. No reason to adopt an attitude of - as you said - "Meh, what's the rush to get back in the rat race?" when, in fact, the attitude should be one of perseverance and persistence.

 

Right I know what you mean, but sometimes it's who you know that gets you the jobs. Where I live, if you're related to someone or grew up with someone in the community, it was easy for that person to hook you up with a job.

 

I recall a dept supervisor bringing in someone for a new job, the HR person was always baffled at these unexpected hires that even she was caught off guard by.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Well... I wouldn't date someone of that age anyway regardless of their employment status... But hypothetically, if I were close to their age, I might, it depends. Everyone above 65 here gets basic payments of about $1000/month. So as long as they own their own house that has been paid for in full and have a decent nest egg, I think they'd be okay.

 

Yeah, I know a woman from OK Cupid that's only 48, runs a 4 kid kindergarten school out of her home (yes, limit is 4), and works 6-hours a day 4 days week. So...3-day weekends all the time. I envy her. LOL

 

She's a widow, educated, intelligent....so she probably is living off an inheritance. Very attractive, but dressed rather modestly...doesn't keep up with fashion.

 

All she needs is a tank-top and jogging shorts to keep the eyes on her. lol Girl next door type.

 

But that makes sense since she just moved here to a community of Wal-Mart- looking people. lol

 

Se dated a guy that made a living working the local flea markets, selling mostly his old stuff and some print work I believe. She didn't mind his situation.

[MidwestUSA]

Pensions are being eliminated. Even Disney isn't a great place to work anymore as they eliminated pensions and interest rates for the later a barely 1%.

 

I've known people who had to dig money out of their IRAs or 401Ks after being laid off to pay bills.

 

 

All the more reason to have gotten in early, put in your time, be the best you can be, and don't dally around. The person I described exists. He's 51 and retired for good. I'd snatch him up in a heartbeat.

 

(If he wasn't my brother )

 

He wasn't even a professional!

[ASG]

Hmm... I'm a freelancer. Which means I don't have consistent work, so, with that in mind, I'm less strict about employment.

 

However, I'd want someone who was at least trying to work and hopefully not struggling to make ends meet.

[thefooloftheyear]

I have achieved what most would consider financial independence....Plus, investment income(even taking into account dips) means I have "money making money"...I guess that counts, being its my money? I dunno...

 

That being said, I still think you need to have some purpose in your life...Hobbies, etc are only gonna go so far...And when you are living off what you have, if you do it while still relatively young, could mean you can run out at some point...I mean, even though I have paled down most of my expenses, I shudder to think that just investments and savings were paying that down...That would scare the daylights out of me at this age...

 

At the end of the day, though, its whatever makes a person happy...If a woman judged a guy for it, then tell them to stick it....Its about time women start carrying guys, the ways guys have for eons...

 

I like what the previous poster said about not dallying around...I gave up a lot of personal recreation time in my early years because I had a plan to be done with cracking a huge nut by my early 40's...It can be done, but you cant screw around, and you need to be diligent on all levels of finance..

 

TFY

[LookAtThisPOst]

I have achieved what most would consider financial independence....Plus, investment income(even taking into account dips) means I have "money making money"...I guess that counts, being its my money? I dunno...

 

That being said, I still think you need to have some purpose in your life...Hobbies, etc are only gonna go so far...And when you are living off what you have, if you do it while still relatively young, could mean you can run out at some point...I mean, even though I have paled down most of my expenses, I shudder to think that just investments and savings were paying that down...That would scare the daylights out of me at this age...

 

At the end of the day, though, its whatever makes a person happy...If a woman judged a guy for it, then tell them to stick it....Its about time women start carrying guys, the ways guys have for eons...

 

I like what the previous poster said about not dallying around...I gave up a lot of personal recreation time in my early years because I had a plan to be done with cracking a huge nut by my early 40's...It can be done, but you cant screw around, and you need to be diligent on all levels of finance..

 

TFY

 

Yeah, I was never one to take vacation time off from work, I usually worked non-stop, unless I got sick. So if I got laid off, but never took vacation, I'd get a nice extra check and the "lay off" feels kind of like a vacation since I busted my hump without interruption.

[carhill]

If I can interpret your verbiage, Carhill, are you saying those these men are doing pretty nicely and happy doing it, but...somehow it's not "out there" or at least somewhat obvious they got a good chunk 'o change, women won't see them as dating material, yes?

 

To these women, if their situation is being DISPLAYED as ambiguous, regardless of being set for a while..at least until Soc. Security qualifying age, they aren't considered dating prospects.

The basics, at the emotional level, are instilled during socialization and peer integration. In my generation, the guy quietly toiling away in the chem lab as a youngster developing a the next breakthrough in chemistry wasn't on the same plane, socially, as the football guy throwing or receiving the winning pass in front of the cheering crowd. I picked up on this because I did both and it was very interesting to watch the social dynamics play out. Yes, of course people 'grow up' but the basic social viewpoints are formed during this period. People love winners and, generally, hate losers and American society turns upon those aspects at every level of social interaction. That's how guys like Donald Trump can offend massive amounts of people and still be successful. They've demonstrated their social and monetary success, and obviously. There are also quiet billionaires and people who've changed the world but we'll never know who they are. It's the same throughout society and boils down to perception of personality. Mating isn't rational, fair, or some formula. It is what it is. If you like it, play the game. If not, opt out.

[LookAtThisPOst]

The basics, at the emotional level, are instilled during socialization and peer integration. In my generation, the guy quietly toiling away in the chem lab as a youngster developing a the next breakthrough in chemistry wasn't on the same plane, socially, as the football guy throwing or receiving the winning pass in front of the cheering crowd. I picked up on this because I did both and it was very interesting to watch the social dynamics play out. Yes, of course people 'grow up' but the basic social viewpoints are formed during this period. People love winners and, generally, hate losers and American society turns upon those aspects at every level of social interaction. That's how guys like Donald Trump can offend massive amounts of people and still be successful. They've demonstrated their social and monetary success, and obviously. There are also quiet billionaires and people who've changed the world but we'll never know who they are. It's the same throughout society and boils down to perception of personality. Mating isn't rational, fair, or some formula. It is what it is. If you like it, play the game. If not, opt out.

 

 

OTOH, the guy would be giving the illusion he's financially well off, but could have incurred serious debt *shrug*, so there ya go.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Just got an update from a recently financial planner friend. He said that from the source of the June 2015 Government Accountability Office analysis said that the average American accrued $104 K in retirement savings between the ages of 55 and 64.

 

If you with do the 4% withdrawl rule, that comes to over only $4K per year annual income

 

Quite inadequate to enjoy your retirement years, is it not?

 

Seems to be par for the course, so people expecting to NOT partner up with such a sad annual income of 4K per year in their 50's may be all that is left for options in dating partners.

[Imajerk17]

I don't know. If you saved up enough money to *not have to* work and you are taking advantage of that financial freedom, then I'd think that would be a GOOD thing for most women. I mean, who wouldn't be attracted to someone with ambition to better themselves and their situation in life. As long as you eventually find something else to do with your time than go fishing or work on your golf score or the like.

 

RE your last post, yes I have read that stat too LATP. (I'm not so sure about the 4% rule though, but I digress.) Thing is, if you're disciplined enough to have put away 25% of your income in a sound investment account for 25 years--which sounds quite reasonable for someone who is 50 w no kids to have been able to do, then you should have quite a cushion. Not only is it a lot of principal put away, and much of that principal has had quite a few years to compound. If your friend has been doing this, then it's quite likely your friend(s) has at least 20x the amount he (they) needs to retire, which should make him at least almost set according to the 4% rule.

Edited July 16, 2016 by Imajerk17

[preraph]

Yeah, there's a big difference between independently wealthy and laid off and out of work. Older people have a hell of a time making money, especially women. The older you get, the less money you make. Hence why I've had to work two jobs for so many years. Right when my body tells me I need to retire.

[MidwestUSA]

Just got an update from a recently financial planner friend. He said that from the source of the June 2015 Government Accountability Office analysis said that the average American accrued $104 K in retirement savings between the ages of 55 and 64.

 

 

What does he say about the years leading up to 55? Considering most people are looking ahead to retirement by that age, the amount earned after 55 seems inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. In other words, too little, too late.