Bunny5 Posted July 17, 2016 Share Posted July 17, 2016 I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. I feel that we have a happy and loving relationship, and we talk about marriage. I'm writing this post because I am feeling lost and confused and hurt after I saw my boyfriend sent text messages to a girl he met apparently last night while he is at the beach with his friends this weekend. My boyfriend recently gave me his iPad after he got a new one and it still receives his iMessages because we couldn't figure out how to turn it off. He knew it was still receiving the texts a few months ago but must have forgotten. At 1:45am he texted this girl asking what her plan was for the night and when she said she and her friends had gone home he said "damn, well we always got tomorrow" and it ended there. I know that the first problem here is that I read his messages. I know that is a bad sign and it clearly shows that I have trust issues and I am trying to work on it. It is not fair to him that I have snooped, I know. However, it is a huge problem to me that he would meet a girl at a bar and ER her phone number and text her at 1:45 in the morning. I would never do that to him. Maybe it is just innocent flirting ?? As I can not imagine that he would ever cheat on me. But regardless, it is just plain wrong to me and it is hurtful. I would never give my number to a guy I met out even if I didn't intend for anything to happen. I just feel like I deserve better than this from the person who claims to be my best friend and love me. It feels so disrespectful and sneaky. The idea of ending the relationship is heartbreaking to me because I love him so much and feel that we belong together. However. This is not fair to me and I really expected more from him. Please let me know if anyone out there can relate to me or give me some advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Poutrew Posted July 17, 2016 Share Posted July 17, 2016 First off, don't apologize. You are justified in knowing what he is really like. If you think this is innocent flirting, well, there is no such thing. If you need proof, don't say anything and keep reading those messages... you will have your answer. If you say anything right now, without a smoking gun, he will just stop using his phone after he convinces you it is just innocent banter and take things underground. I know it must hurt right now, but in the long run, consider what a bullet you have dodged... and just think how much more devastated you would have been if you were actually married to this bozo and had 3 kids with him when you found out... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Timshel Posted July 17, 2016 Share Posted July 17, 2016 The universe just tapped your shoulder. Pay attention, don't apologize. Things don't always work out the way we want, let go of what you think you want. You do not have trust issues sweetie but if you avoid the gift you have been given, life will get a lot harder than a break up. Best. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 17, 2016 Share Posted July 17, 2016 First off, don't apologize. You are justified in knowing what he is really like. If you think this is innocent flirting, well, there is no such thing. If you need proof, don't say anything and keep reading those messages... you will have your answer. If you say anything right now, without a smoking gun, he will just stop using his phone after he convinces you it is just innocent banter and take things underground. I know it must hurt right now, but in the long run, consider what a bullet you have dodged... and just think how much more devastated you would have been if you were actually married to this bozo and had 3 kids with him when you found out... Agreed. If you want more proof that he's up to no good, wait and say nothing. Observe. However, this isn't innocent flirting, OP. He was looking for someone at 1:45am that isn't you. That is a major red flag and is going to lead in a bad direction. What would he have done if she were available? He already indicated they could meet the following day. That would be reason enough for me to end it. Sorry OP, but I have been in your shoes and it didn't end well. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 17, 2016 Share Posted July 17, 2016 Find out when they are meeting up and where and show up.....you will have your answer when you confront him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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