Trump supporters/Hillary supporters, Dealbreakers?

[jen1447]

I don't think I could be with someone who was at either extreme of the spectrum. It's not about judgment, just about compatibility. In view of that, I'd be okay with someone supporting Hillary (she really isn't far left at all, she's actually centre-right IMO), probably not okay with a Trump supporter. On the other hand, I probably wouldn't be compatible with supporters of the ultra-left-wing Green Party (not popular in the US, but relatively popular in some other countries) either.

 

I wouldn't cut ties with anyone (my friends/family have a variety of views), but for a partner compatibility is much more important.

 

I think the notion of degrees is very significant ....even extreme opinions aside, I'd be much less inclined to be around someone who was at the vanguard of activism for a politician or cause I didn't care for, as opposed to tolerating the fact they simply have a diff opinion which they can articulate well.

[salparadise]

See it's not just "disagreeing on politics" in many cases. It's about having widely different philosophies about right and wrong. In my opinion, that's not a great recipe for marital success.

 

Yes, widely differing philosophies. The thing that irks me the most is the virtuous mentality.

 

Some well-to-do people believe that fate has smiled on them because of their hard work, better decisions, persistence, dedication, etc., etc... in other words, great virtue.

 

Therefore, what's theirs is theirs, and they shouldn't be expected to share any of it with the less privileged. If they could vote for zero taxes knowing that it would result in zero assistance for those less fortunate, they would. They loathe the poor, call them deadbeats and freeloaders and demean them every chance they get. No empathy or compassion whatsoever.

 

They refuse to acknowledge that they have been successful due to being born into many types of privilege that has allowed them to thrive where others struggle. They won't acknowledge that they have simply been lucky enough to extract more wealth from society due to having been given more resources that allowed them to do so. They just see themselves as more virtuous.

 

It's selfishness, arrogance, and holier than thou attitude all in one. I can't tolerate it and I don't want to be around it. I want to spend my life with humble people who realize that what they have is by grace, are proactive about sharing their gifts and giving the less privileged a leg up, understand that what you do for others is what really counts. They don't identify with form.

 

Different species.

[Blanco]

I'd be open to someone who was somewhat conservative, even though I guess I lean toward the left as it relates to most social issues. I doubt I could jive for very long with a socially conservative person, just because I can't get past someone having such strong opposition to things that don't really directly affect them (i.e. gay marriage).

 

Fiscally, I can see some points from both sides of the aisle and my thinking is less black and white.

 

I've known people from well off families basically squander their given social advantages, while I have close friends who came from nothing and went on to do pretty great things in their lives. The latter group has confided in me that the meager government assistance their families got made a huge positive impact on them.

 

In short, scenarios like this have made me realize I would have trouble building a solid relationship with someone who thinks government assistance is an abomination and a blight on our society.

[serial muse]

I have immediate family members who are on the other side of the political spectrum relative to me. I think that humanizes things for me -- makes it not only easier but frankly more imperative IMO to separate the politics from the people. It's possible to find common ground with almost anybody, if you have the will to do it. Of course, civil discourse will always depend on mutual respect. I expect to be respected, as well, on the same grounds. That's the line in the sand for me.

 

But it's a bit different in a partner, because while I'm willing to gloss over things and change the subject with most people, I do think compatibility on those fundamental values is front and center in a partner.

 

I will say that I knew that my H and I were in tune as far as many basic societal values (or we wouldn't still be together after 10 years), but honestly it's been a revelation (and a relief, in this toxically charged election season) to discover some of the more subtle modes of thinking on which we align. Not just "who would you vote for" but "how do you approach thinking about these topics". I think the latter is equally important, honestly. It's possible for reasonable people to disagree thoughtfully on many things--IF there is mutual respect for each other's process.

Edited July 25, 2016 by serial muse
changed "tolerance" to "civil discourse". Tolerance is its own virtue.

[Haydn]

I couldn`t be with someone who was anti abortion.

 

I couldn`t be with someone to the `Far right` But i doubt they`d want to be with me.

 

 

With my Liberal opinions etc...

[hotgurl]

or post extensively on FB about it, I defriend those people, fast....

 

I personally don't think it matters but my wife had the * put in her online profile about it, so she has to be around the same type of politic thinking people.. and I do get it because in life and work the quickest way to argue with someone you like and respect is talk politics so it's a to each his own kinda thing I guess.

 

I think this can be dangerous. It is good to be around people who have different views than you. It can become very insular if you are always around people who agree with you.

 

I would date someone who votes differently. I think what matters is respect, agree to disagree. As long as the person has integrity and has thought intelligently about their decisions I have no problem.

 

that being said some view points would probably be a deal breaker.

[normal person]

Clinton vs. Trump is like having to make the choice between being shot and being poisoned. I don't think I would disqualify a dating prospect for picking one or the other.

 

There's a big difference between accepting a terrible fate out of helplessness and/or inevitability, and fervently begging someone to either shoot or poison you, thinking you're doing yourself a service.

 

I'm no politician but to me American politics have become so polarized that any discussion of nuance, complexity, or shades of grey gets shouted down seemingly immediately. I can see the appeal and shortcomings of both candidates to both sides. I wouldn't be too bothered to hear that someone supported one or the other (considering I probably won't vote for either), but I'd be much more interested in hearing why they were voting for who and how they dealt with opposing viewpoints. If they're the kind of person who thinks they know it all and aren't interested in hearing or debating different facts or ideas one way or the other, and unable to concede anything, that's a person I won't go out with because that person, to me, is antithetical to human progress. Life is complicated. Thinking is the answer is either one or the other, just because that's how you have to vote, is an over simplification of something very, very complex. I don't want to go out with someone who can't accept or realize that. That person just doesn't seem smart to me.

[Revolver]

You being on opposite sides of the political spectrum with your friend Kevin from work and the person you're sleeping with every night being on opposite sides is two completely different things. There's a reason why the vast majority of married couples share the same political ideology.

[MissBee]

With the election coming up and the vitriol on social media regarding diff. of opinions on these two...in fact, I have had a friend on FB announce that if someone found out their friend OR family member voted for Trump, they'd ostracize them from their lives...

 

Now, I wonder how these two candidates will factor into the dating criteria? How passionate are you are that you're willing to let a person go due to WHO they will be voting for?

 

Some...may even decide not to tell you who they are voting for on principle, yes?

 

Umm of course who someone's voting for says quite a lot about them, their views, etc that has real effect on their everyday ideas and choices, it's not like whether you prefer vanilla or chocolate ice-cream. Why would you want to date someone who in all likelihood has very different values than you? Religion, politics, education, socioeconomic status and things of that nature are not just abstract or irrelevant ideas for most people, but have real effects on people's actual lives, choices, beliefs, actions and therefore influence relationships, hence it's important to find people with whom you are compatible in these critical areas. I personally don't understand folks for whom these are not a consideration.