A Fly onThe Wall Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 Originally posted by Marie1973 He hugged me & told me that he's not letting me go anywhere your hooked.. The way he wants you..He is playing with your feelings Just words Marie.. Watch the actions this sunday .. There won't be any.. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 Good to hear that you're keeping busy and have things to take your mind off of him. The way he is acting with you and how he's talking to you - definately is making it seem he's moving in. The thing is, he really doesn't know HOW his wife is going to react. Unfortunately, that could be the deciding factor. Her reaction, and how he handles it. And the kids too. That's a biggie. (Sorry, I don't mean to ruin your positive thoughts today, but don't reach up to the clouds quite yet.) Be prepared for anything Marie. Take afew deep breaths and push everything OUT of your head this weekend. GO and have FUN!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Miffy Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 Marie, I will be on holiday this Sunday so will pick up this thread in a week's time. Keep strong, if he does not move out, keep to your decision. Its hard but the sooner you start hurting the sooner you will mend - natures way of getting you over it so make time to be fully in the moment as it will make you stronger. Do it with your support network around you, not in front of the man. Memorise a speech that you will say to him if he does not come to you. Hopefully it will never need saying but have something in mind just in case so you don't do the blubbering mess routine. Most people when looking back at a relationship cringe more about how they acted, chasing a man around, blubbing etc. than any regret over the relationship itself. Be a strong women on the outside even if you are dying inside. I hope it goes well for you and if not join me on the NC thread and we will support each other. Link to post Share on other sites
Marie1973 Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 Thanks Miffy Have a great vacation & read my update when u get back Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 good luck for tommorrow marie! Link to post Share on other sites
SoftDrink Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 hey marie...just wondering if you've heard anything and how you're holding up. hope all is well. you'll get through it, whatever the case may be. just remember, this is only one part of your life, so don't let it encompass everything that you are. we're here. Link to post Share on other sites
lynnspies1 Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 I think SoftDrink had a great point Marie... Don't let this define you. You are not this relationship or this man and you have so much more to offer the world. Things do happen for a reason and we usually can't see that reason until some time has past so hang in there. Lynn Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 I hope you are doing ok, Marie. I know I take a hard approach, but that doesn't mean I dismiss your pain. I hope that you will protect yourself if things go awry. Link to post Share on other sites
SoftDrink Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 Originally posted by lynnspies1 I think SoftDrink had a great point Marie... Don't let this define you. You are not this relationship or this man and you have so much more to offer the world. Things do happen for a reason and we usually can't see that reason until some time has past so hang in there. Lynn exactly. and don't forget that if it doesn't go the way you want it, it has very much to do with the life he had before you (his marriage and kids etc) and very little reflection on you and your own personal worth. Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 and don't forget that if it doesn't go the way you want it, it has very much to do with the life he had before you (his marriage and kids etc) and very little reflection on you and your own personal worth. this is true. no rejection should be taken personally anyway. this type of rejection seems quite harsh. actually though, it has everything to do with the fact that they are already unavailable. as women we tend to listen to the words and even the feelings that are clearly there, when they are with us they have feelings for us, even love us, it is obvious to us, why wouldnt they want to be with us. but to men they think they are telling us the truth, it is obvious to them that we should not expect more, after all, they are married! what have feelings got to do with it? we are two different species, and its hard enough to understand each other even in the most straightforward of relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 I agree with the others. It's not YOU - it's him. Don't internalize it if things don't go the way he said it would. Bottom line, he's committed and married to somebody else and has a family, children, a home and built a life with someone else. He may really mean everything he said about leaving, but his actions so far have proved the opposite. I don't want to say anything more as I don't know what today and tomorrow will bring for you, but try to stay in now and relax. It's out of your hands - Just be prepared for anything. Post if you need to, but I suggest don't "wait" for him by the phone. Get out and enjoy your day and evening. Link to post Share on other sites
Marie1973 Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 Thanks guys u r all so nice. i have a christening to go to today at 1pm & then i am meeting my mm at our apartment at 6pm. i am prepared. u r all right. this is only a part of my life. i am getting a bit nervous, i have to admit. i dont know what to think. i'll let u guys know the verdict later this evening aughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh thanks again guys u r the best auuuuuuuuugh how did i ever get in this position Link to post Share on other sites
sunflower1008 Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 Marie, take a deep breath and BREATHE! This night will let you know what he thinks of everything...his actions will speak very loud. Whatever he decides, he decides. No more excuses for him. We are all right here for you. Link to post Share on other sites
kkat Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 Marie, I am dedicating all positive and beautiful things that come my way in this day to you, and sharing that energy with you, whereever you are. Good luck and may today's outcome, however difficult or joyful, be the outcome that will ultimately delivery you the most fulfilled life. Kkat Link to post Share on other sites
Marie1973 Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 OK guys I'm back from the Christening & still haven't heard from my MM since yesterday afternoon before he left for the shore to tell his wife. He said that he's not sure when he'll get out to call me, but when he does he will. It is 5:15pm here in NJ & we are supposed to meet at our apartment at 6pm & I keep trying his cell phone, which he always has on when driving home from the shore & it goes right into voice mail. This means that its not on. OK this could mean 2 things: 1- He told his wife & he is still down the shore & she is giving him hell & he didn't start driving home yet or 2- He didn't tell her & he's on his way home or even home already & he can't face me with the the truth, so he didn't turn his cell on, so i can't reach him. My heart is in my F****in throat. I've been a bundle of nerves all day & i really can't believe that I let a man do this to me!! I wonder when he's gonna plan on calling me back!!!!!! Let me try his cell again, .....................NOPE NOT ON, VOICE MAIL AGAIN!! Link to post Share on other sites
SoftDrink Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 oh marie...i'm so sorry, it's not looking good, but hang in there, okay? i think he would have at least called by now, even if he couldn't leave yet. he should let you know what's going on and where he is. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 Remember, this is a long weekend...Atleast here in Canada it is. So maybe that is why you've heard nothing yet. I guess wait it out some more and see what he says. Hopefully he'll actually see you and not the phone call thing. Whatever the outcome, it should be done face to face... I can't imagine what you're going through, I've not been an OW, but I can empathize with the dooming pain and ofcourse not knowing WTF is truely going on. Keep the spirits up Marie and do take care. PS Don't call again. Who knows how his wife could be reacting right now, if he actually ended it and told her the truth. Remember, the kids are a huge part of this too. Link to post Share on other sites
SoftDrink Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 Originally posted by whichwayisup Remember, this is a long weekend...Atleast here in Canada it is. So maybe that is why you've heard nothing yet. jeez a long weekend...i wish i was in canada! why is it a long weekend there? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 Civic day on Monday. Link to post Share on other sites
Marie1973 Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 Hello All No we don't have a long weekend here. I wish we did, however if this doesn't go the way i plan, then it might be a long weekend for me. I might take off of work tomorrow, i can't go in & see him, if we are done. Today is the deadline that he said he'll be out of the house. It is 6:05pm now & still haven't heard from him. No he wouldn't do the phone thing, thats not his style. He'll do it face to face. I have no idea what the heck is going on. This is sooooooooooo not like him. He calls me at least 5x a day!! Still waiting Link to post Share on other sites
Miffy Posted August 6, 2005 Share Posted August 6, 2005 Just got back off holiday and this thread stops - has it been started elsewhere or has Marie dissapeared? Link to post Share on other sites
Rosalind Posted August 6, 2005 Share Posted August 6, 2005 Originally posted by Miffy Just got back off holiday and this thread stops - has it been started elsewhere or has Marie dissapeared? Marie said goodbye to everyone yesterday. I notice now that her post has been deleted Rosalind Link to post Share on other sites
Rosalind Posted August 6, 2005 Share Posted August 6, 2005 Gosh my memory is failing, Miffy. She DID start another thread. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t67975/ Rosalind Link to post Share on other sites
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