"The Rebound" ... and then some

[superobert]

I have a friend who recently broke up with a guy after dating for 4 months. She's 19, and already had sex with 15+ guys (including the boyfriend) She went to one college in the fall, then another in the spring where she met the guy. They were immediately drawn to each other...even though they had sex on the first night, which was a first for both of them.

 

Me and her ex have (secretly) talked twice since the breakup. He said he even had doubts about her at the start of knowing her, such as her immaturity and # of guys she flocked to, but stayed complacent because she was enamored with him, and they always got along exceptionally well

 

So after 6 weeks, when she inquiries about him "becoming the boyfriend", he's hesitant to say yes because he's not a fan of relationships and also because there were clearly some red flags about her.....but he complied anyways, he regrets now upon realizing it

 

The break-up wasn't at all ugly. The guy is 21 and pretty well off in life. I believe what contributed to his mode of thinking was a hard time growing up, with both friendships and female acquaintances, and also battles with mild depression and self-esteem, with other factors.

 

In two weeks since the break-up, (which was truly initiated by family's false assumptions of the guy) she has since shown reluctance to try to find complacency with another boy near her hometown, one who is her age this time, and they already knew each other during high school.

 

Would you believe this has to relate to:

a) trying to have the new guy capitalize off what the old guy didn't do

b) since she needs acceptance with other guys and her own family, will relentlessly try to find a perfect match to cope with her feelings for the near future?

c) anything different?

 

I know this new guy won't last anyways, but I don't know what to make of this.

I'm worried it may just start a downhill path from here, I'm trying to see why she's doing what she's doing......

 

She really doesn't know what college has in store for her, since she also hasn't had a "true" freshman year, with focusing on transferring and spending so much of her time with her ex.... Also with her general immaturity, reliance on her family, and not showing any changes since her relationship, I'd say she's still the same person...so will she go back to her ways of having sex with many guys to gain acceptance?

[NTV]

Does not compute.... what is your role in all of this?

[Mr. Lucky]

Me and her ex have (secretly) talked twice since the breakup.

 

Sounds very "high school". Why put yourself in the middle of this?

 

Mr. Lucky

[MJJean]

Did it ever occur to you that perhaps she has had sex with many men, and will continue to do so, simply because she likes sex and variety? Jeeze.

 

They broke up. Of course she's going to move on and date/screw other men. Duh.

 

I was similar to the description of this young woman when I was her age. I wanted to find my life partner, but there was no reason not to go out and enjoy the company of attractive men while I was waiting for "the one" to appear.