Are some single woman undateable?

[Don22]

Who knows???.....Maybe she's into women.....

Well she was married to a man. I know that much so unless she's changed or orientation.

[Don22]

What I find most troubling is that you're using Thought Catalog lists as a guide to securing women.

I was hoping someone would verify if that information was correct.

[Don22]

Woman at work, turns down offers of dates from guys she doesn't want to go out with.

Of course, there must be something wrong with her????

Good grief. I never hinted that there was something wrong with her. I said she was nice. Why are hijacking this thread with something that was only implied by you? Get over yourself.

[Don22]

fuggedaboutit.

The Don says he asked her out and she rejected, I'm curious how that went down? Can we get a story please? Details matter!

 

And yep, some single women are undateable. Totally off-limits. Just fuggedaboutit.

She mentioned something about going to a baseball game. I asked to go and get coffee and she said she was too busy right now.

[Don22]

Flip your question for a moment.

 

Why should she be dating the men at work?

Why do you assume she's unlike any other woman? Other women date men they work with. It's certainly fairly common at my place of work.

[xxoo]

Why do you assume she's unlike any other woman? Other women date men they work with. It's certainly fairly common at my place of work.

 

I'm mean why would you assume she should be interested in dating any of these guys?

 

Maybe she would date a guy at work if she were into a guy at work.

[Popsicle]

She could be clueless and not realize that all you guys are asking her out.

 

Sometimes guys act so much like a friend that you can't tell that they like you or are asking you out.

[AMJ]

fuggedaboutit.

She mentioned something about going to a baseball game. I asked to go and get coffee and she said she was too busy right now.

 

She wanted to go to a baseball game, you said, let's go get some coffee, she said she's busy right now. That's all that happened?

 

If a coworker said that to me, I would not interpret that as him asking me out. I think you need to go back to step one and just start talking to her, get to know her at work. Then ask her out in a way that actually sounds like a date, if you want her to know you're interested.

[elaine567]

Good grief. I never hinted that there was something wrong with her. I said she was nice. Why are hijacking this thread with something that was only implied by you? Get over yourself.

 

NO need for me to imply anything.

YOU said she was a "waste of time" and that you thought she enjoys turning men down and asked if she was "undateable", merely because she didn't want to go out with you or your mates...

 

Women do have a brain, they are allowed to decide for themselves who they will date, they are not just pretty things on a shelf waiting expectantly for you or your friends to pick them.

[LookAtThisPOst]

In relation to the OP's post, no, but there's like a handful of local, single, never married, middle-40s women on here that are single, never married, and no children in the small community where I live that are still on this site.

 

One I know that's been active and on this site for years. Some are return customers when they start their profile with, "Trying this again..."

 

Then I would try to email them again...still nothing.

 

Pricing themselves out the market = undatable.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Sounds like they weren't interested in you the first time you asked, and still weren't the next, and the time after that, etc. Declining to date you says NOTHING about the women except: They are not interested in dating you.

 

 

Whether you and the OP think these women "should" go out with you for whatever reason is immaterial. They are going to date men they are interested in. Women are just annoying that way, aren't they?

 

I agree with you to a certain extent. however, some of these women have made additions to their profile regarding the pervy skumbags that had been contacting them for one night stands or whine about how "I can't find a decent guy, they all want friends with benes" stuff like that.

 

That's really the point here.

 

So they remain permanent fixtures of dating sites

[NewLeaf512]

Sounds like they weren't interested in you the first time you asked, and still weren't the next, and the time after that, etc. Declining to date you says NOTHING about the women except: They are not interested in dating you.

 

 

Whether you and the OP think these women "should" go out with you for whatever reason is immaterial. They are going to date men they are interested in. Women are just annoying that way, aren't they?

 

KingMe I agree.

 

OP if a woman you found completely unattractive and unappealing, do you have to go out with them?

 

What if their sense of entitlement told them even if you said "no thank you" that she kept chasing, after all, you're single and so is she. How would you feel?

 

@KingMe are you currently in the dating pool? You seem like a sensible chap, how would you go about it if a woman said no?

[Don22]

I'm mean why would you assume she should be interested in dating any of these guys?

She'll give hints about meeting up. Why do you assume she shouldn't be interested in dating any of these guys?

[Don22]

She could be clueless and not realize that all you guys are asking her out.

 

Sometimes guys act so much like a friend that you can't tell that they like you or are asking you out.

I asked out for coffee, and she declined. Do you think if I would have asked out to dinner she would have said yes? I don't think so.

[Don22]

If a coworker said that to me, I would not interpret that as him asking me out. I think you need to go back to step one and just start talking to her, get to know her at work. Then ask her out in a way that actually sounds like a date, if you want her to know you're interested.

It's not like I suddenly asked her out for coffee. I've been talking to her for a while. She told me she had a divorce etc. If she hints about going to a baseball game but turns me down for some thing as simple as coffee then she isn't going to to be interested in anything that sounds even more like a date.

[Don22]

NO need for me to imply anything.

YOU said she was a "waste of time" and that you thought she enjoys turning men down and asked if she was "undateable", merely because she didn't want to go out with you or your mates...

You have the quote directed at me and that is wrong. If you are having trouble comprehending what your're reading then don't muddy the waters by adding misinformation. I never said she was a waste of time. Read slowly the opening passage and you'll find where that quote came from. There are women who like to turn men down because it's feeds there egos. Is that really hard to understand?

 

Women do have a brain, they are allowed to decide for themselves who they will date, they are not just pretty things on a shelf waiting expectantly for you or your friends to pick them.

Women do have brains and can make choices. I never said that they didn't. You're just running from the fact that some women are undateable. My sister after her divorce didn't date for 3-4 years. She was hurt at the divorce if she ever turned down a guy to feed her ego, I can't say. I do know she was angry at men in generally so it would seem plausible.

[BlueIris]

There is a pretty woman who works with the department. She's young and I know I'm older than her. She seems really nice. I know several guys who have tried and failed to get a date with her. I tried and also failed. I know she's had a divorce a few years ago. I don't know if she's hurt from it but she won't give any guy a romantic chance with her. The only thing that I know about her is she's single. There was one good looking guy who somehow got her to meet up after work. The only thing he said later was it was a waste of time. I think she enjoys turning men down. Are some women undateable? Is there any tips to date a women like this?

 

Your last two questions don't make sense.

 

Sure there are women who are "undateable." Often it's because they don't want to date at all or they don't want to date the people who have asked them.

 

It isn't necessarily that "she enjoys turning men down." Seeing it that way, that she is a sadist, is just butthurt-ness, an emotional reaction to a blow to the ego, and it's a good reason to not date someone.

 

Focus on finding a woman who does want to date you, not on figuring out a way to get women who say "no" to change their minds.

[xxoo]

She'll give hints about meeting up. Why do you assume she shouldn't be interested in dating any of these guys?

 

I don't assume she shouldn't be. Nor that she should be.

 

I assume she isn't interested based on the fact that she rejects offers.

 

Sounds like she wants friends, not dates.

[MK67]

Are some PEOPLE undateable? Yes, I think so because they might have decided that they do not wish to date and are happy just enjoying their own company, or friends, or animals. Other people might be undateable because they simply don't have time or energy left in their lives after other priorities that they feel are far more important to them.

 

However, just because someone turns potential suitors down or does not date from the pool within your range of observation, does not render them "undateable".

 

Some people, as a rule of thumb, do not date coworkers or within their professional circles. I don't date coworkers because while I am very level-headed and mature and try to be as intelligently selective as possible in dating, I cannot ensure that other people will remain professional nor do I want to be contribute to someone's discomfort in our shared work environment should things go awry.

 

It also might be that the person has specific ideas about who and what she wants and doesn't want in a romantic/sexual partner. No one needs to be attracted to what you think is fine for them. That being said, it is also true that any person is undateable for SOME people simply because they do not fit the list of basics that the person is seeking, not to mention lacking in basic attraction, although sociologically speaking, the former is far more conducive to building strong and deep relationships with people who are more compatible in the long run.

 

Personally, I am an atheist (in a highly theist world); a brown girl; highly independent; well-educated with a life full of grand and diverse experiences; and live a very unconventional lifestyle of my own design....all of those things make me "undateable" to and for many men, but there are men out there who fit me and my very specific list. It's just a matter of eventually meeting them. In the meantime, there are enough men to enjoy as friends and have some fun.

[MK67]

You know the last line of the message asking for tips to use on the "undateable" kind of woman made me think of something that I sometimes find myself forced to say, even though I am trying to be nice and relatively friendly: I'm not interested. Three words to make it clear and leave no room for doubt.

 

She just isn't that into you...or them, for whatever reason that she herself knows and need not explain to anyone.

 

It really bothers me to have to do that, but for some reason, some men do not get it when I say, things like, "That's nice, but no, thank you."" Progressing to "Because I don't want to." and finally "Because I am not interested."

 

I really dislike it when people think they know what's better for me than I do or think I have to date them because they asked me. I know what attracts me, what I like, and who and what is compatible with the kind of person I am. I lead a very busy and highly prioritized life so choosing to date someone, means giving them time and space in my life and that is a high value exchange worthy of good selection.

 

 

I try to imagine how hard it might be to try to approach a woman and then to deal with rejection. Not everyone is able to let it slide off their back like a duck. I have a thick skin and I don't rejection personally, but some do.