Jealous because BF went on trip with single friends but not with me

[baltimoregirl42]

I am a 24 year old woman who is in a 10 month relationship with a guy who is 26. We’ll call him H. H went on vacation without me about a week ago. He went with 3 of his friends to Las Vegas, then onto Los Angeles and finally San Diego. Ever since he left I have been increasingly more and more jealous and stressed out. I think about him in this posh room in Vegas, going out partying w/his single friends, laying by the pool, and having a blast while I’m sitting at work. The other day he got to LA and then SD and keeps text messaging me telling me how beautiful it is, 75 and sunny. He’s out partying with his friends, laying on the beach, and drinking. I think about these things and the fact that I’m over here on the East Coast, where it is rainy and humid, and I get so jealous! To make matters more stressful, he’s staying at a house with one of his friends from college who lives there and his friend’s roommate is my boyfriend’s ex (who he still talks to regularly).

 

He doesn’t have the best history of being honest with me and it bothers me. He is an alcoholic who uses other substances as well. He knows it bothers me but continues to do it behind my back. I am also battling depression at the moment (in therapy and taking meds), and when I called him the other night I was crying and just not having a good day. One of my friends passed away suddenly and I needed some comfort. He responded with, “I’m just trying to enjoy my vacation and hang out with my friends. I don’t need this right now”. So now I feel guilty for calling him.

 

My jealousy over this whole trip is killing me. He and I have never been on a vacation together, and the thought of him out there doing all these things I’ve always wanted to experience is tearing me up. He frequently takes trips with friends and can bc his job allows him lots of time off. He’s been to these places before, but I haven’t and I haven’t had a vacation in almost 2 years (primarily for financial/job reasons). I’m normally not a very jealous person, but I don’t know how to handle this. I haven’t been able to sleep, eat normally, and I constantly feel sick to my stomach. I have been making plans and going out with my friends more, but I can’t shake this jealousy. I feel like if I don’t relax soon I’m going to drive myself crazy. I feel like I’m already there.

 

How can I help myself feel better about this?

[ReluctantRomeo]

Originally posted by baltimoregirl42

How can I help myself feel better about this?

 

Let's see, he's an alcoholic who does drugs, lies, has gone across the country to stay with his ex, and can't be compassionate when you need him

 

Question is, sweetie: why are you still with him? Sorry to be this blunt, but I think the question needs at least to be asked. And it's for your own good.