Cephalopod Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 Well yeah BEFORE you turn a car over is the key! Not a month later and you decide "Oh hey I should see if they want me to stop by and wax a car that no longer belongs to me". Even previous it didn't belong to him, it belonged to his ex! Well that is different. Maybe I missed that but i did not know it was that long of a time span. Yeah that is weird. But here is the deal: you saw it and you didn't fall for it. There are a lot of women who would have fallen for it, but you didn't. You should feel good about that. Where is your husband in all this? What has he done to protect you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mapper71 Posted July 21, 2016 Author Share Posted July 21, 2016 Well that is different. Maybe I missed that but i did not know it was that long of a time span. Yeah that is weird. But here is the deal: you saw it and you didn't fall for it. There are a lot of women who would have fallen for it, but you didn't. You should feel good about that. Where is your husband in all this? What has he done to protect you? Yeah it's been a month since we got the car and almost 2 weeks since I finally got the title transferred and let him know with a text...that's the last contact until yesterday. I showed him the text when he got home and he immediately thought it was odd and called the guy. I don't know what was said on the other end but he told him "If you want to drop off the wax you can do that, I'm home after 7PM, but asking to stop by and wax the car is a little over the top. And hey if you need anything in the future call or text ME". He kept it somewhat light-hearted but he wasn't happy with the guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mapper71 Posted July 21, 2016 Author Share Posted July 21, 2016 I just looked up to see what "nanowax" is and it's the same exact bottle that was left in the trunk of the car when we got it! Maybe he didn't know it was in there but, but no thanks we're covered! And he said in his text that its for BLACK cars. No it's not! It's for ANY car! Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 Honestly? He just sounds like a lonely clinger, using the car as an excuse to have somewhere to go and to have something to do. My ex-H owned a hardware store and there were tons of guys who used to come in there on a regular basis, using some lame excuse or another just to be there (needing a bolt or some other cheap, small item) but they really came there for the opportunity to hang out and chat and be anywhere but home alone (or home with their wives, etc.) Sometimes that's simply all it is, and he sounds exactly like one of the many, many guys who used to come in the store so they could BE somewhere. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mapper71 Posted July 22, 2016 Author Share Posted July 22, 2016 (edited) Honestly? He just sounds like a lonely clinger, using the car as an excuse to have somewhere to go and to have something to do. My ex-H owned a hardware store and there were tons of guys who used to come in there on a regular basis, using some lame excuse or another just to be there (needing a bolt or some other cheap, small item) but they really came there for the opportunity to hang out and chat and be anywhere but home alone (or home with their wives, etc.) Sometimes that's simply all it is, and he sounds exactly like one of the many, many guys who used to come in the store so they could BE somewhere. Really?? 'Cause that's like me selling a car to my female coworker who I talk to at work but don't hang out with otherwise (I'll say that because H and this guy aren't really friends, they are acquaintances from the racetrack who happen to live close to each other) and her husband who I barely know, even though it's going to be the husband's car, and then texting her husband, not my coworker, saying "So I was wondering if you wanted me to come over and wax your car this weekend because you know I don't have a life. Anyways just wanted to say hi". Why would I "just be saying hi" to this guy I hardly know and not sending a text to my coworker instead?? That is super weird in my book! Edited July 22, 2016 by Mapper71 Link to post Share on other sites
Cephalopod Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 Mapper why are you so shaken up by this incident? Yes this guy was weird and creepy, but was it that big of a trauma? You know how often this happens to women walking down the street in big cities, or at the office? Women get hit on all the time by strange men they do not like. Did this guy's actions bring back some painful trauma from your past? I'm not trying to devalue your feelings, but it just seems to me like you are overreacting a bit. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mapper71 Posted July 22, 2016 Author Share Posted July 22, 2016 Mapper why are you so shaken up by this incident? Yes this guy was weird and creepy, but was it that big of a trauma? You know how often this happens to women walking down the street in big cities, or at the office? Women get hit on all the time by strange men they do not like. Did this guy's actions bring back some painful trauma from your past? I'm not trying to devalue your feelings, but it just seems to me like you are overreacting a bit. No it's just never happened to me as a married woman before and it DID kind of shake me up! Now I'm freaking out that he's going to stop by sometime when H isn't there or something. Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 Well you posted this same thing on an infidelity site and it sounds as though you want everyone to flatter you and tell you how taken he is with you, even when alternative suggestions are made. He sounds socially stunted is all. Someone who wants to hit on you doesn't ask to come wax the car he just sold you. Someone who does stupid, impulsive, socially unacceptable things wants to wax the car he just sold you. You posted on the other site that he's got 21 'incidents' recorded with your court system, so that suggests he just doesn't get how to successfully fit in with society or do what's expected of him. He sounds like the kind of creeper who tries to glom onto anyone whose nice to him. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 No it's just never happened to me as a married woman before and it DID kind of shake me up! Now I'm freaking out that he's going to stop by sometime when H isn't there or something. Why? So what if he does? Are you incapable of saying no? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mapper71 Posted July 22, 2016 Author Share Posted July 22, 2016 Well you posted this same thing on an infidelity site and it sounds as though you want everyone to flatter you and tell you how taken he is with you, even when alternative suggestions are made. Or just MAYBE I'm freaked out by the whole incident and want others opinions (which by the way, you are in the minority in what you think!) But hey, thanks for stalking me around the interwebs Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 In my old house our (getting divorced) male neighbor knocked on my door & asked for my car keys. He said he knew my H was away & my tire looked a bit flat!!! I was so shocked that I just handed over my keys. He returned my car with 2 new tires, all detailed & shiny! A week later (when my H was away) I caught him cleaning my car in barely there shorts...he's a gym crazy guy!!! Later he brought me pizza because it was left over from his kids. Let me guess what people are thinking?!?!?!?!? Yes! He's a bit weird. Yes! He's socially 'in your face'. The truth is he was a newly single Dad who didn't know anyone. He was just as friendly when my H was home. Over the years he's become a really good friend. He would do anything for us & our kids!! He's a lovely man who won sole custody of his 3 children & has since remarried (another tiny little blonde. I'm tall & dark!) I don't know if this guy is weird, hitting on you or lonely & guilty for messing you guys around so much with the titles. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted July 23, 2016 Share Posted July 23, 2016 Honestly? He just sounds like a lonely clinger, using the car as an excuse to have somewhere to go and to have something to do. My ex-H owned a hardware store and there were tons of guys who used to come in there on a regular basis, using some lame excuse or another just to be there (needing a bolt or some other cheap, small item) but they really came there for the opportunity to hang out and chat and be anywhere but home alone (or home with their wives, etc.) Sometimes that's simply all it is, and he sounds exactly like one of the many, many guys who used to come in the store so they could BE somewhere. Going to hang out where men hang out to be free for an hour and shoot the breeze is what men do. Offering to wax the OP's car was not an example of men just hanging out. This is an example of a man wanting to wax more than just this woman's car. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted July 23, 2016 Share Posted July 23, 2016 In my old house our (getting divorced) male neighbor knocked on my door & asked for my car keys. He said he knew my H was away & my tire looked a bit flat!!! I was so shocked that I just handed over my keys. He returned my car with 2 new tires, all detailed & shiny! A week later (when my H was away) I caught him cleaning my car in barely there shorts...he's a gym crazy guy!!! Later he brought me pizza because it was left over from his kids. Let me guess what people are thinking?!?!?!?!? Yes! He's a bit weird. Yes! He's socially 'in your face'. The truth is he was a newly single Dad who didn't know anyone. He was just as friendly when my H was home. Over the years he's become a really good friend. He would do anything for us & our kids!! He's a lovely man who won sole custody of his 3 children & has since remarried (another tiny little blonde. I'm tall & dark!) I don't know if this guy is weird, hitting on you or lonely & guilty for messing you guys around so much with the titles. Again tires were not the only set of new rubbers that this man wanted to give you. Men do not do what he did without the hope of getting to date you. Many men use the indirect courting of let be your friend. For many reasons. They do not have the confidence to be direct and ask a woman out. They realize their social skills (game) never gets them anywhere. Link to post Share on other sites
Cephalopod Posted July 23, 2016 Share Posted July 23, 2016 Well, you are going to have many more traumas in your life. You can either accept they will happen from time to time, or live in fear. So maybe take some self defense courses. I recommend Krav Maga. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mapper71 Posted August 1, 2016 Author Share Posted August 1, 2016 There was a shooting in our area over the weekend where a jealous boyfriend went and shot his ex girlfriend who had broken up with him a week before. For whatever reason, this prompted H to say to me "Did I ever tell you what that guy said to me when I called him?" I said no. He tells me that this guy said "Well I texted you first but it didn't go through for some reason so I texted her". That seems odd! You have his number in your phone and the phone calls work fine, but the text won't go through?? It's weird that he would text me at all, but I find it even weirder (if indeed it is true) that he would text H in the first place after not having spoken with him for a month and ask if he'd like to have him come over a wax a car! I mean really? A guy asking another guy to come over a wax a car that no longer belongs to him?? Wouldn't any guy find it weird that a "sort of" friend would offer to come over and wax a car while we go about our usual business?? Link to post Share on other sites
kgcolonel Posted August 1, 2016 Share Posted August 1, 2016 The offer to wax a car that doesn't belong to that person is extremely odd so I dont want to tie this to that concern....however I have several friends who have just bought the new iPhone and the exact same thing was happening to them....for some reason iphone to iphone wouldn't pass the text along however to android devices it did....so, there may be some truth to what he is saying. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mapper71 Posted August 1, 2016 Author Share Posted August 1, 2016 Well H and I are probably the only 2 people left on the planet who have "dumb" phones (where the only thing you can do on it is call and text) so if it didn't go to his phone, it shouldn't have gone to mine. Link to post Share on other sites
Cephalopod Posted August 1, 2016 Share Posted August 1, 2016 Has this guy contacted either one of you again? If not, just let it go. There are hazards everywhere in everyday life. You could walk outside your house right now and get hit by a car, or get nailed by an incoming meteorite. The world is a dangerous place. It should not make you fearful of living your life. You can't let a bizarre little incident like this create fear in you. Fear will consume you as long as you feed it, the way you are feeding it now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mapper71 Posted August 1, 2016 Author Share Posted August 1, 2016 Has this guy contacted either one of you again? No he hasn't. We are still waiting for him to drop off that wax:laugh: It's been almost 2 weeks now! Link to post Share on other sites
Grisho Posted August 1, 2016 Share Posted August 1, 2016 No he hasn't. We are still waiting for him to drop off that wax:laugh: It's been almost 2 weeks now! Just let it go. It is nothing remarkable now, since it has been dealt with. People have problems with phones all the time. That's also nothing remarkable. Not sure why someone being shot has been mentioned in this thread. Best of luck with your marriage and future. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mapper71 Posted August 1, 2016 Author Share Posted August 1, 2016 Just let it go. It is nothing remarkable now, since it has been dealt with. People have problems with phones all the time. That's also nothing remarkable. Not sure why someone being shot has been mentioned in this thread. Best of luck with your marriage and future. I'm not sure why the whole jealous boyfriend shooting his ex girlfriend triggered my husband to tell me what this guy said either! Link to post Share on other sites
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