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She just left a relationship


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Here's the scoop. A little over a week ago I met a woman, and we first began IMing each other (About hour long convos) than a couple days later began calling each other (Also about hour long convos). We agreed to meet at the Zoo on Saturday. Of course, it rained, so that morning we switched plans and instead met up at the local mall. We putted around and talked, and things went decent (Conversation bounced around like a beach ball, and she made it very clear that she was happy to meet me in person). She's going to be busy this week with family coming into town and the holiday weekend, but when I joking demanded that we should meet up again sometime this week she laughed and said "We should, but thats up to what my family has planned for me".

 

So last night we talked again, which is when we began talking about her ex in some detail. I knew she was engaged before and that she broke it off due to finding out he was cheating on her, but found out last night it was literally only a month ago to the day. Thusly, she flat out told me that right now she is only looking for friends, as she just isn't ready for a relationship yet. She also told me that she's turned away other guys who were strictly looking to ask her out and nothing else, so I'd have a hard time believing she isn't telling me the truth.

 

Of course, I'm interested in a relationship with her starting of course "with" friendship, and thus the conundrum. What do I do in this situation? Do I find a proper time to let her know my intentions but that I am willing to let the future play itself out and see what happens, or should I just not mention anything at all and we just continue to talk and meet in person as friends? I mean, I'm capable of that as shes a good person and one I am willing to wait for, but at the same time I don't want to get myself stuck into that safe friends category.

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Sort of, though this one differs in that we pretty much only used IM for a day, then moved on to voice and then meeting in person.

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drgnflybethany
Originally posted by westernxer

Well, don't give too much of yourself too soon, that's all I have to say.

 

Do most men really live by this slow and steady euphemism?

 

Don't you know it drives women crazy?

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westernxer
Originally posted by drgnflybethany

Do most men really live by this slow and steady euphemism?

 

Don't you know it drives women crazy?

 

Ever been with a guy who said too much too soon? That drives women away.

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elijahBailey
Originally posted by Screenplay

Thusly, she flat out told me that right now she is only looking for friends, as she just isn't ready for a relationship yet.

 

what she said here pretty much sums up what's in her mind. I think she might be using you as an emotional support after her breakup. I feel the chances of anything happening is slim. Anyways, just keep this in mind if you still decide to continue with this friendship. good luck :)

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drgnflybethany
Originally posted by westernxer

Ever been with a guy who said too much too soon? That drives women away.

 

Can't say as I have ever experienced that pleasure - or pain - or whatever... ;)

 

So - what you're saying is if a guy moves really slowly - he really likes you, he just doesn't want to screw it up...

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sleeplessindallas

If you don't want to become stuck in the 'friends' category, don't be the friend. It's not to say you shouldn't be nice to her, but you can keep your outings with her more of a date atmosphere. Don't just hang out with her when there is nothing to do except sit around and talk about her ex, or any of that stuff. But if you want companionship to go to a movie, or dinner, or a party or a work-related function, ask her to go with you. This way, it doesn't become that friendship you are trying to avoid. FWIW.

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westernxer
Originally posted by drgnflybethany

Can't say as I have ever experienced that pleasure - or pain - or whatever... ;)

 

So - what you're saying is if a guy moves really slowly - he really likes you, he just doesn't want to screw it up...

 

Guess you'll just have to wait and see...

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