unnamed Posted April 18, 2001 Share Posted April 18, 2001 Hey, I just finished talking to my girlfriend. She's anti-masturbation. I am trying to keep myself from having sex, and nothing I have done has worked. Nothing. I have not masturbated for a few months out of respect for her, but I do not want a child nor do I even want sex. Is masturbation okay to avoid having sex? I have a high sex-drive, and this is my final solution. But she doesn't buy it, and I will feel bad if I do, but I don't want a child... What do you guys think? Masturbation or sex (considering you DON'T want a child nor sex itself)? Link to post Share on other sites
ashesmum Posted April 18, 2001 Share Posted April 18, 2001 Ok. not a guy here, but some questions. You do not want to have anything to do with sex. It's obviously not just cause you don't want a child so what's up? As far as masturbation is concerned, it's fine. Just don't do it around her if it bothers her. But sooner or later you are going to have to tell her that you don't want anything to do with her sexually. And I'm pretty sure she's not going to want to stick around too much longer after that. No offense to you, but most people are out there to get into a relationship which involves sex and having kids down the road. I'm not saying everyone wants to have kids, but for those who do, is it fair for them to be lingered on not knowing that the other doesn't want the same things in life, especially sex? You need to be up front with her and tell her you're happy jerking off by yourself than to have sex or kids in the relationship. Hey, I just finished talking to my girlfriend. She's anti-masturbation. I am trying to keep myself from having sex, and nothing I have done has worked. Nothing. I have not masturbated for a few months out of respect for her, but I do not want a child nor do I even want sex. Is masturbation okay to avoid having sex? I have a high sex-drive, and this is my final solution. But she doesn't buy it, and I will feel bad if I do, but I don't want a child... What do you guys think? Masturbation or sex (considering you DON'T want a child nor sex itself)? Link to post Share on other sites
BONZ Posted April 18, 2001 Share Posted April 18, 2001 What the f*&k is wrong with you? You'd rather jerk yourself off for the rest of your life than to have sex? Are you hiding int he closet or something? As for not havin kids, it's called a condom, birth control pills, sponge etc. I think you might have some psychological problems you need to take care of before your relationship. Till then just don't tell her you're jerkin off. Hey, I just finished talking to my girlfriend. She's anti-masturbation. I am trying to keep myself from having sex, and nothing I have done has worked. Nothing. I have not masturbated for a few months out of respect for her, but I do not want a child nor do I even want sex. Is masturbation okay to avoid having sex? I have a high sex-drive, and this is my final solution. But she doesn't buy it, and I will feel bad if I do, but I don't want a child... What do you guys think? Masturbation or sex (considering you DON'T want a child nor sex itself)? Link to post Share on other sites
unnamed Posted April 19, 2001 Share Posted April 19, 2001 I enjoy, very much, being sexual with her. Its just I do not want a child (I'm only 17), and I am very unable to control my drive. Its not an issue of losing interest or anything like that, I just don't want a child. By the way, I told her that I will probably be doing it. She doesn't approve, still, and now I feel awful... Its like she wants a child over getting a little bit hurt because I masturbated. And she's 17 too. Does that not sound messed up? Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Mojo Posted April 19, 2001 Share Posted April 19, 2001 hi unnamed, without running the risk of sounding blunt here, i want to give you my opinion(s), as i would give them to a brother or a close friend in the same situation as you: 1) I just finished talking to my girlfriend. She's anti-masturbation. I am trying to keep myself from having sex, and nothing I have done has worked. Nothing.....I have not masturbated for a few months out of respect for her, but I do not want a child nor do I even want sex. firstly, i think your girlfriend has some serious hang-ups about sex/genitalia/*NORMALITY*. whether she was brought up this way, or she has imposed these beliefs on herself is irrelevant. the fact that you are letting her views in relation to sex and masturbation affect you like this is a problem. why? because everything you are feeling is 100% TOTALLY AND UTTERLY NORMAL!! why should you not masturbate "out of respect" for her? no offence, but what the hell business is it of hers what you do in the privacy of your own shower/bedroom/toilet? you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. i have NEVER met a girl who thinks it is wrong for her boyfriend to masturbate...NEVER. i can understand you not masturbating when she is there - that is respect. her sex drive is probably nothing like yours right now. she probably doesn't have any need to release a bit of sexual energy, which could be partly why she thinks it is wrong. i don't want to sound rude, but she is incredibly naive. 2) Is masturbation okay to avoid having sex? ABSOLUTELY!!!!! look, all i can say is go ahead and do it anyway. you have NOTHING to feel guilty about. you are not cheating her or betraying her by masturbating. you are not being disrespectful by masturbating. YOU ARE BEING NORMAL don't let her views make you think any different. you know you are a normal 17 year old guy. that much is obvious, so don't be afraid to be one. 3) I have a high sex-drive, and this is my final solution. But she doesn't buy it, and I will feel bad if I do, but I don't want a child... she doesn't have to buy it. it is none of her business if you are doing this in the privacy of your own home, or without her around. what is she going to do? call the masturbation police and have your hand arrested?..."sorry officer, but i was being a normal 17 year old guy"... i have never, ever felt weird finding out about a boyfriend masturbating. for goodness sake, i wouldn't expect anything less. 4) What do you guys think? Masturbation or sex considering you DON'T want a child nor sex itself)? if the two of you aren't ready to have sex, by all means, masturbate your heart out! although you haven't said, i can't help but wonder if you guys are against oral contraceptives and condoms. if you are, that's fine because it's a personal and sometimes religious issuee. but i also sense a slight paranoia about getting pregnant. if your girlfriend was to take an oral contraceptive or depo-provera (3-monthly injections), and you were to use condoms at the same time, the chances of her falling pregnant are very, very, very, very (pretty much zero) slim. as long as she follows directions and doesn't have sex for the first month of taking the pill, then you shouldn't have a problem. whilst i think it's really great that you want to be responsible, you should go and talk to a doctor or a family planning clinic who will advise you just how incredibly slim the chances of you becoming a daddy are if you use proper protection. but of course, this can only be discussed between you and your girlfriend if you are ready to do so. but please, unnamed, don't let your girlfriend control your NORMAL DESIRES. it is absolutely none of her business, whatsoever. if she can't handle it and thinks it is wrong, then maybe you need to find someone who can accept that you are a normal 17 year old guy who has this desire....and that is most girls. don't let her naivety (sic) affect you like this. i think deep down you know you aren't doing anything wrong..... Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Mojo Posted April 19, 2001 Share Posted April 19, 2001 ...dunno what happened there. Link to post Share on other sites
DUde Posted April 19, 2001 Share Posted April 19, 2001 If you want to avoid getting her pregnant, why not have oral sex? It is better than masturbation. Let her jerk you off, and you go down on her, problem solved, both parties are happy, plus there is no threat of getting her pregnant! Sounds reasonable? Hey, I just finished talking to my girlfriend. She's anti-masturbation. I am trying to keep myself from having sex, and nothing I have done has worked. Nothing. I have not masturbated for a few months out of respect for her, but I do not want a child nor do I even want sex. Is masturbation okay to avoid having sex? I have a high sex-drive, and this is my final solution. But she doesn't buy it, and I will feel bad if I do, but I don't want a child... What do you guys think? Masturbation or sex (considering you DON'T want a child nor sex itself)? Link to post Share on other sites
unnamed Posted April 19, 2001 Share Posted April 19, 2001 For us, fooling around usually leads to sex. We have tried doing that, but it just doesn't work. So I said forget it. Link to post Share on other sites
DUde Posted April 19, 2001 Share Posted April 19, 2001 hey, what can I say? WHy don't you just get some good porn and whack it off once or twice a week? Do not tell your girl about it. Well, anyway, why don't you just go ahead and have sex with her using protection. Man, you gotta have sex while you can, one day you will not be able to get it up and will regret that when you had a chance, you just chose to whack if off. For us, fooling around usually leads to sex. We have tried doing that, but it just doesn't work. So I said forget it. Link to post Share on other sites
Ashesmum Posted April 19, 2001 Share Posted April 19, 2001 I can understand you not wanting to have a child. And her wanting one is ridiculous at the age she is. I would say about birth control methods, but I don't know how much you could trust her on her part knowing she wants to have a kid. If anything, just keep doing what you do without telling her. It may sound awful, but you're keeping yourself safe. Good luck with your situation. I enjoy, very much, being sexual with her. Its just I do not want a child (I'm only 17), and I am very unable to control my drive. Its not an issue of losing interest or anything like that, I just don't want a child. By the way, I told her that I will probably be doing it. She doesn't approve, still, and now I feel awful... Its like she wants a child over getting a little bit hurt because I masturbated. And she's 17 too. Does that not sound messed up? Link to post Share on other sites
unnamed Posted April 20, 2001 Share Posted April 20, 2001 No, she doesn't want a child, but I said it seems like she does. Anyway... Link to post Share on other sites
Laurynn Posted April 21, 2001 Share Posted April 21, 2001 Geez, why even tell her what you do? It's none of her business. She doesn't own you, she's not your Mother. If you want to masturbate during your own free time, then go for it. She has no right to ask you if you do it. Come on, get some backbone there. You're your own person, you do what feels right to/for you. You're only 17. The chances are fairly slim that this is the girl you're going to one day marry (seeing how you're both so young and probably haven't dated much). Stop giving her all the control here. She sounds like a manipulative, bossy, controlling young lady. Tell her to back off. Better yet, keep your business to yourself. L Link to post Share on other sites
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