Need some encouragement right now/Cheated on

[i123confused]

Just found out my boyfriend of a year+ has been cheating . I don't know the specifics. I broke up with him.

 

He still hasn't admitted it, apologized, or talked to me about it. Not only that but HE blocked ME on every possible medium. wtf? He's the one who did wrong!

 

I KNOW I will be okay, there's something wrong with him and not me, it'll take time, etc.

 

But how to deal with the panic attacks right now? There was nothing wrong in our relationship. He used to tell me that no one had been there for him like I had and that he loved me. And then one day he needed "space" , which turned out to be code words for cheating and not having to deal with me.

 

I feel empty and depressed and confused. He treated me extremely well but during and prior to the breakup became cold and distant.

 

I am at home feeling sad, depressed, lonely... while he probably has his new gf with him. This isn't fair.

 

This sucks.

[smackie9]

Never ever think you are responsible for this no matter how much they down play it or try to blame you for it.

 

Don't worry hun he isn't out frollicking around...he's carrying around a tonne of guilt for doing what he did. I suggest you don't sit at home alone. As difficult as it is gather up some friends and go out and do something, like go for a hike, take a walk at a nice park, let them cheer you up. In a few days the waves of despair will fade.

Edited July 24, 2016 by smackie9

[smackie9]

Just found out my boyfriend of a year+ has been cheating . I don't know the specifics. I broke up with him.

 

He still hasn't admitted it, apologized, or talked to me about it. Not only that but HE blocked ME on every possible medium. wtf? He's the one who did wrong!

 

I KNOW I will be okay, there's something wrong with him and not me, it'll take time, etc.

 

But how to deal with the panic attacks right now? There was nothing wrong in our relationship. He used to tell me that no one had been there for him like I had and that he loved me. And then one day he needed "space" , which turned out to be code words for cheating and not having to deal with me.

 

I feel empty and depressed and confused. He treated me extremely well but during and prior to the breakup became cold and distant.

 

I am at home feeling sad, depressed, lonely... while he probably has his new gf with him. This isn't fair.

 

This sucks.

It was the right thing for him to do to block you.....you will only torture yourself digging around, stalking him. In a few months after this blows over he will contact you with an apology...most do anyways. He is just being a damn coward right now. When I was cheated on I didn't even have the luxury of knowing he cheating on me, he just completely cut me off without explanation. He came around later and told me everything. But I was left hanging for about 3 weeks before he did.

[Satu]

Firstly, realise that your happiness and wellbeing do not depend on him.

 

Things change; and when they change, we have to adapt.

 

Do things that make you feel good. Spend time with people who make you feel good.

 

Restructure your life to reflect your now single status, in a fulfilling way.

 

Being single for a while is not a bad thing.

 

In the fulness of time you will have a new and better relationship.

 

Decompress.

 

 

Take care.

[Friskyone4u]

You are right it sucks but you will be fine once you accept HIS shortcomings and the fact that you are too good for him. DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF!!!

 

That is a common mistake, to try to dig up what you did wrong. You did nothing wrong to deserve this and he has the flaws.

 

Men enter affairs primarily for sex. That DOES NOT mean you are not a great partner. It means that he has a character flaw that made it OK for his penis to go where it should not have been.

 

You sound young so stay blocked, and it will get better with time. There are no shortcuts and the less you know about what he is doing or with who the better it is.

 

DO NOT TAKE HIM BACK

[Satu]

It would be helpful for you to adopt a no contact policy with him.

 

Mainly to protect you from further hurt by him, but also to help you focus on your healing.

 

 

*No direct contact.

*No sending or receiving of messages.

*Block any means he might use to contact you.

*No replies to anything that gets through your blocks.

*No indirect contact through third parties.

*De-friend or delete him from all social media.

*No monitoring of him on social media.

*No 'little birds' feeding you news.

*Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what he is doing or saying.

 

 

Take care.

[Space Ritual]

Just found out my boyfriend of a year+ has been cheating . I don't know the specifics. I broke up with him.

 

He still hasn't admitted it, apologized, or talked to me about it. Not only that but HE blocked ME on every possible medium. wtf? He's the one who did wrong!

 

I KNOW I will be okay, there's something wrong with him and not me, it'll take time, etc.

 

But how to deal with the panic attacks right now? There was nothing wrong in our relationship. He used to tell me that no one had been there for him like I had and that he loved me. And then one day he needed "space" , which turned out to be code words for cheating and not having to deal with me.

 

I feel empty and depressed and confused. He treated me extremely well but during and prior to the breakup became cold and distant.

 

I am at home feeling sad, depressed, lonely... while he probably has his new gf with him. This isn't fair.

 

This sucks.

 

He did you a favor.

 

Imagine how you would have felt Five years from now with a mortgage, and 2 kids to find this out.

 

Look at it this way:

 

If your entire future was saved from this asshat by him blocking you and clamming up about it, then you have saved yourself a boatload of heartache. Move on and do not even give him as much as an iota of headspace. He will reap hat he sowed eventually. These hings have a way of evening out.

[bubbaganoosh]

 

He used to tell me that no one had been there for him like I had and that he loved me. And then one day he needed "space"

 

See the above and the words he said to you? He lied. And you believed him. Don't feel like the Lone Ranger, it happens to a lot of people including yours truly.

 

So what do you do. First this is to stop dwelling on it. Yeah you love him but HE LIED TO YOU!! Now you know and if it continued he would have LIED TO YOU EVEN MORE.

 

You'll get past this but when you get that urge to want to talk to him and think there's a glimmer of hope, keep remembering HE LIED TO YOU. You can't have a good stable relationship if there isn't any trust so do yourself a favor. Heal your wounds and move on. If not all you'll do is make your life more miserable.