Is my boyfriend reasonable or am I being played

[Flower lover]

Boyfriend and I are in our 60s, in a three year relationship. Two things bother me. He has been with a woman for over seven years and he is finished with the relationship, no sex, no talk, etc. He stays by her at night to take her to work early in the morning many days, and I believe him to the max that there is nothing going on between them, as I sleep over at his house when he doesn't take her to work the next day, or am with him until minutes before he enters get house, usually just to go to sleep. He wants her to end the relationship just so she doesn't come back at him if he ends it. How do I get him to hurry up and leave?

 

Also, several months into out relationship I asked was this an exclusive relationship, to which he said it's like when you diet and you put restrictions on not eating things, then you crave things. I know he hasn't cheated with me, but it still drives me nuts, Am I reasonable to feel this way?

[basil67]

I'm sorry Flower Lover, you can't make him hurry up and leave because he doesn't want to leave. If you really meant more to him than she does, he would have gone already.

[basil67]

I also want to add that he's being grossly unfair to her by stringing her along.

 

You mentioned that he hasn't "cheated with you". I'm not sure if you mean he hasn't cheated on her or hasn't cheated on you. He's certainly cheated on her, so I can't figure out why you'd believe that he hasn't cheated on you too.

[ExpatInItaly]

No, he isn't being reasonable.

 

And yes, you are most definitely being played.

 

Can you really not see this?

[elaine567]

Also, several months into out relationship I asked was this an exclusive relationship, to which he said it's like when you diet and you put restrictions on not eating things, then you crave things.

 

He didn't say "Of course we are exclusive", therefore you are NOT exclusive, do not just assume that you are.

 

He wants her to end the relationship just so she doesn't come back at him if he ends it.

Can you elaborate? What does that mean?

[elaine567]

Boyfriend and I are in our 60s, in a three year relationship. How do I get him to hurry up and leave?

 

He has had a cosy arrangement with two women that has suited him very well for the past three years, what makes you think he wants to leave?

[smackie9]

You want to see if you can make him leave? Breakup with him!!!! Tell him you do not like this arrangement so it's over between you. If he wants a relationship with you, he needs to clean up his act and sever ties with this woman for good until then, don't bother having anymore contact with you. Then go on dates with other men until he makes up his mind. Don't put your life on hold for him.

[ChickiePops]

What do you mean he hasn't cheated with you? He has, and currently is, cheating with you.