scared shy Posted June 29, 2005 Share Posted June 29, 2005 So my class-A ***** has been using OxyContin the last few months. Just found how bad it really is... if anyone has read my previous posts, then you know why I called him *****, although now with the knowledge that he has been spun for two months it all makes sense why he is being such *****. A few weeks ago I was over at his house and he was behaving more bizarre than ever, we had a talk (ok more like a blow out) with me telling him to lay off the drugs, I had only caught wind of him doing this a few times at this point. Well it was confirmed that he has been doing it consistently for 2 months. I have a friend who just shared with me his emotional roller coaster of a ride with this drug. Basically my friend who is using is beyond recreational use. I have known this guy for over 6 years, closer to 7, and I care deeply. I tried talking to him about it and he now avoids me like the plague (I hear people who care about you are real downers for drug addicts ) So I did the only thing I thought was right and sat down and wrote a letter to his parents. I asked advice from my friends and family, only the friend who had been through it before said to tell. My family also told me to tell, seeing how they would want to know if their children were in this predicament. Just ranting... I know this will end our friendship or whatever we had until he gets better if he ever does. Having to want to change and what not. I know what I did was 100% right, and I would do it over given the chance... but I destroyed something nice today. Well they will get the letter tomorrow, so I guess I have destroyed something nice tomorrow... Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted June 29, 2005 Share Posted June 29, 2005 No, you've done something nice. There would be nothing nice at all about watching someone you care about destroying himself. This way he might get help. Link to post Share on other sites
Author scared shy Posted June 29, 2005 Author Share Posted June 29, 2005 moimeme thank you, I just hope it helps or something comes out of it, except the drama and hate. Link to post Share on other sites
oohimaguest Posted June 30, 2005 Share Posted June 30, 2005 Ok... I don't want to fault you for what you did, as it's done, and it's pointless to fret about if you did the right thing now, but speaking as a person who knows a lot of drug users, I think he's going to be pretty upset with you. Using drugs to escape your problem is not the answer, but the only person who can realize that is the one trying to escape from their problems. Your friend's parents can't make him stop doing drugs; I don't want to condemn your actions, as each case is individual and subjective, especially when drugs are involved, but in most cases the only person who can stop someone from abusing drugs is the abuser himself. Getting his parents involved, in my opinion, probably will only escalate the problem, putting unnecessary guilt on your friend, knowing that he's causing his parents unhappiness with his problem. In some cases this can make the problem worse, as the only escape from the problems created by using drugs to escape problems, to the drug abuser, unfortunately, may be more drugs. Now, don't go beating yourself up about this. What's done is done. In some cases getting family involved can help a drug addict turn their life around. But... for future reference... try not to be so hasty in getting others involved. As I said earlier, drug abuse is a very personal problem, and often there isn't really much that can be done to help except offer your support and encouragement, and doing your best to keep additional pressure and stress off the abuser to make things as easy as possible for him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author scared shy Posted June 30, 2005 Author Share Posted June 30, 2005 Well all I know is that I would have carried guilt around with me forever had one day I opened up the paper and read his obit... I know I have lost him as a friend and it was way worth it to know that it's not a secret anymore and he can't just keep doing it and have everyone believe he is ok. Moving out with your dealer, come on... if his parents cut his ass off, (considering they are flipping some of this bill w/o realizing it) then maybe if he hit rock bottom it might not be as worth it to him... maybe not. But I did what I had too. Have you ever been in my situation? Cause if not then it's pretty hard to understand exactly what I am feeling or how I feel... so Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Cwazydude Posted June 30, 2005 Share Posted June 30, 2005 You need to calm down, You know in your heart that you did the right thing, And I agree with your judgment. If you wouldn't have sent that letter god knows what might have happened to him, and it seemed to me that he couldn't have helped himself if he wanted to. Try to remember that you did the right thing, regardless of what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Author scared shy Posted June 30, 2005 Author Share Posted June 30, 2005 Cwazydude Thanks... but it doesn't feel right, now... since his roommate (Mustache) has taken his side and believes he is not doing it sooooo much. I know I did the right thing, but no one else does... so f&*k 'em all!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Cwazydude Posted June 30, 2005 Share Posted June 30, 2005 Her again eh? Well, personally I don't care what she thinks, I believe that she wants to drug him up and eat him. The point of the matter is, No-matter what she, or anyone else that comes from the house of ill repute, you DID do the right thing, And they all need to "Go back from the hell whence they came". Link to post Share on other sites
Author scared shy Posted July 1, 2005 Author Share Posted July 1, 2005 So his parents got the letter, and I received a phone call. I was wise enough to not answer, but got the I hate you, you fu**n b**ch and I hope you die text. Yikes. Asking me how would I know about his drug problem and that he is going to get me... Whoa and I wasted my time caring for this person??? WTF was I thinking? I figured he would be pissed and never speak to me again, hopefully get his **** together... but I guess now I have to look over my shoulder, I have to ask myself, would a SOBER person say and do these things? Oh and he used the C word!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author scared shy Posted July 19, 2005 Author Share Posted July 19, 2005 So just an update rant, it has been almost three weeks now since the "letter" went out. It seems that this immature jerk has been hanging out with the person that told me all of the bad things that he was doing. She lives next door to my best friend and this guy (yes he just had to move in with my best friend and complicate my life when he did this) so this chick let's call her SLUGSLIME, she lives next door with her boyfriend of 4 years and lately is A**holes best friend. She tells me all of the stuff he was doing, get's me all worked up and then they become best friends. Going camping together just the two of them w/o her boyfriend... Why would he hate me sooo much and be such good buddies with her all of the sudden when she was one of the major reasons the damn letter went out in the first place? This guy is going over to my other friends house and telling them that he is going camping with this chick (to the same place we went last year, might I add) and he knows damn well this is going to get back to me. On top of everything else, I expected him to hate me for ratting him out to his Mother, but I also expected him to just hate me and go away, but No he continues living with my best friend and partying with this pathological liar chick... and I can not completely be mad at her as she is only 20 and has no friends, I mean none... I can totally see why if this is how she acts all the time. So she is young and hasn't quite grown up yet, but what in the hell is he doing spending the night with a chick that has a boyfriend right next door? I thought guys didn't do the revenge thing like girls do, I thought they just walked away... not caring about closure and pretty much not has bad as women and their scorn? I just want to confront him one last time when/if he finally does move to tell him how bad all of this has hurt me and that I am sorry I ever met him. I really loved/love this guy and I find myself wishing there was a switch I could pull to turn all the feelings off. Out of all the friends he has, and he does have a lot of party buddies, why does it got to be the chick I can't stand the most... it feels like he is doing it on purpose!!!! HELP?? Any words of advice or telling me what a complete a** he is would so help my mood. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by scared*shy Out of all the friends he has, and he does have a lot of party buddies, why does it got to be the chick I can't stand the most... it feels like he is doing it on purpose!!!! he is Link to post Share on other sites
Author scared shy Posted July 19, 2005 Author Share Posted July 19, 2005 So if he is doing it on purpose, what's the point? I mean do guys really engage in this behavior? Why bother? How can he turn from being my friend to hating me enough to throw this irritating, callow girl in front of my face. He is 27 almost 28 years old for crying out loud. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by scared*shy So if he is doing it on purpose, what's the point? to piss you off S*S.... I mean do guys really engage in this behavior? sure, some do...why not? Link to post Share on other sites
Author scared shy Posted July 19, 2005 Author Share Posted July 19, 2005 So being a male (and I have read a lot of your posts, and you offer really awesome advice on how many males think, act, etc.) would you ever do this to someone? I'll be honest, when I was younger, and my feelers got hurt I generally wanted revenge and played the games to hurt whoever hurt me. Then something happened, either I grew up or an epiphany occurred and it clicked, you just don't do this to people who you care about, or once cared about. I am severally pissed off at him, but still will not stoop to that level to try and make him mad. I guess the letter was enough for that, but that honestly was done out of concern. He is just being plain vicious and cruel. and what does he think he is gaining... I imagine he is gaining satisfaction huh? sure, some do...why not? Cause he is 27 and not a freshman in high school. I guess that is just me giving him way too much credit all this time. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by scared*shy So being a male (and I have read a lot of your posts, and you offer really awesome advice on how many males think, act, etc.) would you ever do this to someone? Thanks for the kudos. Yes, I would do this to someone if they dicked me over first. I am severally pissed off at him, but still will not stoop to that level to try and make him mad. why not? I imagine he is gaining satisfaction huh? most likely Link to post Share on other sites
Author scared shy Posted July 19, 2005 Author Share Posted July 19, 2005 Thanks for the kudos. Yes, I would do this to someone if they dicked me over first Your welcome... I didn't dick him over. What I did was out of caring, what he is doing is out of spite IMO. why not? What for? So I can be as immature and then totally null and void any part of the friendship we once had. Besides how can I get back at him? Seems he is throwing all the punches, what is really going to hurt him now? most likely GOOD FOR HIM... I hope he chokes on his satisfaction!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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