International dating. American dating is not working for me

[logan415]

Logan, what's stopping you from dating immigrant eastern european women in SF? Is there not enough of them there? There's a decent amount here in NYC.

 

Yes. Population is too small here. If you want a Asian girl you won't have a hard time finding that in San Francisco. Plenty of Asians here but most of them are Chinese. As for Eastern European immigrants there is too few of them here.

[normal person]

Your idea that American men are subdivided into either "nice guys" or "bad boys" is simplistic and narrow minded as you claim American dating culture is. No wonder you haven't much success. Things are infinitely more complex than that.

 

Unfortunately its not in my genes to act this way.

 

If your genes are the problem, why are you blaming society and culture? Why not blame science and genetics? They're the real perpetrators here. Most other people have figured out how to assimilate and be viable partners. Most of them aren't "bad boys." Expecting the world to cater to the unsuccessful is ludicrous. The world won't adapt to you, you have to learn to adapt to the world. And as the adage goes, "adapt or die." Life is Darwinian. The sooner you realize it, the easier things will become.

 

"It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change."

- Darwin

 

We are talking about changing myself to be interested toward another person.

 

Exactly. As mentioned in the quote above, if you're resistant to change, you're pretty much a dead man walking.

 

You have to adapt to your circumstances and environment. I'm constantly refining things about myself because I like the things those refinements bring me more than I liked my previous state. I do and say things that might have been out of character for my younger self. But they've since become a part of my personality now because of the success they brought me. I evolved.

 

Do you think people like working 80 hour weeks, or spending years in med school, or hours at the gym? Most don't, but they appreciate the dividends those things pay them in return, because those are some of things that will bolster someone's chances at reproducing. They cater to the current environment that we can't expect to cater to ourselves.

 

I always thought we should be ourselves at least what I been told.

 

Then your mistake was not using deductive reasoning when making observations about the world around you, not learning from your mistakes, and believing fairy tales that everyone is just perfect exactly the way they are. No one is perfect. There is always room for improvement. Everyone can evolve. People who think they're perfect the way they are, or that they shouldn't change their tactics despite multiple failures are lying to themselves, stupid, or both. If you "should" be yourself, would you be in this situation right now?

 

You can continue down this path and likely continue to have little success, or you can evolve by stepping out of your comfort zone, adopt a willingness to adapt to the circumstances, critically observe the world around you, apply what you see, learn from your mistakes, and refine things until you are successful.

[logan415]

Your idea that American men are subdivided into either "nice guys" or "bad boys" is simplistic and narrow minded as you claim American dating culture is. No wonder you haven't much success. Things are infinitely more complex than that.

 

 

 

If your genes are the problem, why are you blaming society and culture? Why not blame science and genetics? They're the real perpetrators here. Most other people have figured out how to assimilate and be viable partners. Most of them aren't "bad boys." Expecting the world to cater to the unsuccessful is ludicrous. The world won't adapt to you, you have to learn to adapt to the world. And as the adage goes, "adapt or die." Life is Darwinian. The sooner you realize it, the easier things will become.

 

"It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change."

- Darwin

 

 

 

Exactly. As mentioned in the quote above, if you're resistant to change, you're pretty much a dead man walking.

 

You have to adapt to your circumstances and environment. I'm constantly refining things about myself because I like the things those refinements bring me more than I liked my previous state. I do and say things that might have been out of character for my younger self. But they've since become a part of my personality now because of the success they brought me. I evolved.

 

Do you think people like working 80 hour weeks, or spending years in med school, or hours at the gym? Most don't, but they appreciate the dividends those things pay them in return, because those are some of things that will bolster someone's chances at reproducing. They cater to the current environment that we can't expect to cater to ourselves.

 

 

 

Then your mistake was not using deductive reasoning when making observations about the world around you, not learning from your mistakes, and believing fairy tales that everyone is just perfect exactly the way they are. No one is perfect. There is always room for improvement. Everyone can evolve. People who think they're perfect the way they are, or that they shouldn't change their tactics despite multiple failures are lying to themselves, stupid, or both. If you "should" be yourself, would you be in this situation right now?

 

You can continue down this path and likely continue to have little success, or you can evolve by stepping out of your comfort zone, adopt a willingness to adapt to the circumstances, critically observe the world around you, apply what you see, learn from your mistakes, and refine things until you are successful.

 

True. That is why people migrate where they can be successful. I have done everything I could possibly do. But I met women online from other countries and had zero problems relating to them. There is nothing that can steer me away from the idea of international dating. People can tell me all this social standards rules BS but fact is men I know who been overseas said women have a much different outlook on dating.

Edited July 29, 2016 by logan415

[normal person]

True. That is why people migrate where they can be successful.

 

True, but this seems a bit odd. People typically migrate because their circumstances aren't advantageous to their ability to survive and prosper -- not because they can't hack it and need a downgrade. You're an American living in the bay area, yeah? One of the most expensive places to live on Earth; laden with success (granted there aren't a whole lot of women around, but ok) and opportunity. I'd say if you can survive there well enough, you're doing something right. You are "successful," you have the ability to keep pace with people in most arenas, there's no reason why you shouldn't be able to crack women.

 

I have done everything I could possibly do.

You will never have done everything you could possibly do. You can always be more successful, stronger, in better shape, more appealing, more educated, more prepared, etc. Thinking you're done improving is a toxic attitude.

 

But I met women online from other countries and had zero problems relating to them. There is nothing that can steer me away from the idea of international dating. People can tell me all this social standards rules BS but fact is men I know who been overseas said women have a much different outlook on dating.

 

What makes women in other countries so relatable and women in this country so not? It seems like you're painting with broad strokes. I wonder how "relatable" these people would be if you met them in person and had to hang out with them for a few hours. If I talk to foreigners, I'm genuinely interested in their lives and cultures, but what makes it so interesting is usually that it isn't relatable.

 

Count me very skeptical and cautious that foreign women are so much better suited to you than American ones. Perhaps if you have something in common culturally, you might have a leg up. I was just reading another long thread about a Vietnamese-American guy who was dating a Vietnamese-American girl and the way he/her/the families went about it seemed quite foreign to me. I can see how if that's the case, you might have luck with someone with whom you share some space on the cultural spectrum. But that being said, every culture is different.

[logan415]

True, but this seems a bit odd. People typically migrate because their circumstances aren't advantageous to their ability to survive and prosper -- not because they can't hack it and need a downgrade. You're an American living in the bay area, yeah? One of the most expensive places to live on Earth; laden with success (granted there aren't a whole lot of women around, but ok) and opportunity. I'd say if you can survive there well enough, you're doing something right. You are "successful," you have the ability to keep pace with people in most arenas, there's no reason why you shouldn't be able to crack women.

 

 

You will never have done everything you could possibly do. You can always be more successful, stronger, in better shape, more appealing, more educated, more prepared, etc. Thinking you're done improving is a toxic attitude.

 

 

 

What makes women in other countries so relatable and women in this country so not? It seems like you're painting with broad strokes. I wonder how "relatable" these people would be if you met them in person and had to hang out with them for a few hours. If I talk to foreigners, I'm genuinely interested in their lives and cultures, but what makes it so interesting is usually that it isn't relatable.

 

Count me very skeptical and cautious that foreign women are so much better suited to you than American ones. Perhaps if you have something in common culturally, you might have a leg up. I was just reading another long thread about a Vietnamese-American guy who was dating a Vietnamese-American girl and the way he/her/the families went about it seemed quite foreign to me. I can see how if that's the case, you might have luck with someone with whom you share some space on the cultural spectrum. But that being said, every culture is different.

 

I have met foreign women before and yes it was the culture. Also they seem to want simple life. Like for example I knew this Russian woman who was a international student and we hang out. Did not have any expectations of expensive dinners. We sometimes go to the beach watch the sunset.

 

Their over outlook on dating is much different than in the US. Of course there are bad cookies everywhere but the culture they were raised makes them more desirable in my opinion.

 

I feel if your a guy who wants a woman to give you a challenge I think American women are good choice for you. American women are tough to crack which is why I gave up.

 

I remember I tried talking to a woman at a bus stop and got ignored pretty much. I'm shock we even have relationships in America because look how no one does not want to communicate. I tried at a grocery store and got similar repsonse. Even had this during college. But when I talk to women who are from another country on their srudent visa I got greeted with a smile and said hi. Introduce myself and it was easy is that. I heard from other men they had similar experience when they met foreign women. It really has to do with culture.

[normal person]

I remember I tried talking to a woman at a bus stop and got ignored pretty much. I'm shock we even have relationships in America because look how no one does not want to communicate. I tried at a grocery store and got similar repsonse. Even had this during college. But when I talk to women who are from another country on their srudent visa I got greeted with a smile and said hi. Introduce myself and it was easy is that. I heard from other men they had similar experience when they met foreign women. It really has to do with culture.

 

Americans are generally a friendly bunch. But you have to be able to read social cues. There's a difference between being friendly in general and randomly approaching women at a bus stop or grocery store, especially when she's given you no interest or "green light," so to speak. If you're at a bar and she starts talking to you, or she gives you the eyes, that's when you proceed with things. Approaching a women at random and seeing how responsive they are is like playing a scratch off lottery ticket. You might get lucky once in a while, but don't count on it. It may come off as threatening or uncomfortable for them.

[logan415]

Americans are generally a friendly bunch. But you have to be able to read social cues. There's a difference between being friendly in general and randomly approaching women at a bus stop or grocery store, especially when she's given you no interest or "green light," so to speak. If you're at a bar and she starts talking to you, or she gives you the eyes, that's when you proceed with things. Approaching a women at random and seeing how responsive they are is like playing a scratch off lottery ticket. You might get lucky once in a while, but don't count on it. It may come off as threatening or uncomfortable for them.

 

How come the foreign lady was not so closed like that? I think American women need to lighten up. As for the bar I don't drink so bars will never work for me. For me I wil stick with international dating.

Edited July 30, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Fix quote

[LookAtThisPOst]

Americans are generally a friendly bunch. But you have to be able to read social cues. There's a difference between being friendly in general and randomly approaching women at a bus stop or grocery store, especially when she's given you no interest or "green light," so to speak. If you're at a bar and she starts talking to you, or she gives you the eyes, that's when you proceed with things. Approaching a women at random and seeing how responsive they are is like playing a scratch off lottery ticket. You might get lucky once in a while, but don't count on it. It may come off as threatening or uncomfortable for them.

 

Americans are generally a friendly bunch.

 

Not when compared to foreign women.

 

The point Logan was trying to make is...with foreign women, social cues are moot when approaching them. They are more open to engaging conversation with a stranger.

 

It may come off as threatening or uncomfortable for them.

 

Well, good thing this is a non-issue with a lot of foreign women.

 

But you have to be able to read social cues.

 

What if every social cue a man's received has been that of a "don't approach me"? Should he approach anyway?

Edited July 30, 2016 by LookAtThisPOst

[normal person]

Not when compared to foreign women.

 

The point Logan was trying to make is...with foreign women, social cues are moot when approaching them. They are more open to engaging conversation with a stranger.

 

Perhaps, but let's not misread "more open to engaging conversation" as "sexual interest." If I were in a foreign country and a stranger came up to me and started talking, I'd probably talk to them too, because I'd be caught off guard, I'd have to process the interaction through the lens of a different culture and their customs, try and figure out the type of interaction it is: friendly, deceptive, etc. I wouldn't ignore them like I would a crazy guy on the subway.

 

Here in New York guys will walk up to you on the street and ask you if you want to buy drugs. Other guys will approach you, try and shake your hand, tell you how cool your jacket is, hand you their demo cd and then instantly curse you out and call you every name in the book when you tell them you're not interested in it. People will sell you fake tickets to things. I ignore all these people. Tourists will ask you for directions or homeless people for money, I help them. Gypsies in Europe will try to con you -- I didn't know this at first and I was very confused by it. Kids in undeveloped countries will try to steal from you, but you don't want to be too quick to accuse or be the ugly American, or whatever. Just because someone walks up and talks to you doesn't imply sexual interest. It could be any variety of things. As a foreigner, it can be tough to deduce because you're not on your home turf and oftentimes speaking a non-native language.

 

Well, good thing this is a non-issue with a lot of foreign women.

 

Broad stroke. I'd wager a lot of woman approached by a strange man, in their own country or not, can't help but feel the slightest tinge of discomfort or threat. It reminds me of that Louis CK bit, where he talks about how the absolute most dangerous thing to women is men. Doubtful that women being uncomfortable with strange men approaching them is an American phenomenon. I never have a second thought about walking alone at night. Lots of women probably do.

 

What if every social cue a man's received has been that of a "don't approach me"? Should he approach anyway?

 

Do what you want. I certainly wouldn't. If someone obviously doesn't want to be bothered, I would respect that and not force myself into their attention, whatever the situation. If you see a dog, let's say a pit bull, and it's in a defensive stance, showing it's teeth, snarling and barking, would you try to go pet it? You could if you wanted, but don't be surprised if it bites you. Conversely if you see a happy, lovable labrador that runs right up to you and starts licking you and sitting at your feet, or lies down and exposes its belly, you might be more inclined to pet that dog for obvious reasons. You're not owed attention by a girl. She doesn't have some obligation to talk to you if she doesn't want to. But there are plenty that will want to and will come after you like the labrador. They give you a friendly vibe, you smell great to them, and they want to be around you -- there's no debate. It's infinitely easier if you just stick to those rather than writing off all dogs. Maybe that pit bull will take notice of how much fun the labrador is having with you and suddenly realize it might want you to pet it too.

 

Approaching women randomly with no green light is just a losing game in my opinion. It's like walking up to someone randomly and asking them if they're an accountant. They haven't given you any indication that they're an accountant, no tax returns on hand, no green visor, etc. But you walk up and ask them anyways, for whatever reason, thinking "maybe this person's an accountant/maybe this person wants to talk to me for some unknown reason." It's just a total crapshoot.

 

I feel like if OP's impression of American women is largely those he's walked up to and hit on randomly, then of course he's got a skewed view of them -- he's just been grasping at straws. Same with foreign women. If his only experiences with them are limited or under extenuating and/or anecdotal circumstances, I think it's a bit too soon to start making general assumptions.

[logan415]

Not when compared to foreign women.

 

The point Logan was trying to make is...with foreign women, social cues are moot when approaching them. They are more open to engaging conversation with a stranger.

 

 

 

Well, good thing this is a non-issue with a lot of foreign women.

 

 

 

What if every social cue a man's received has been that of a "don't approach me"? Should he approach anyway?

 

You are spot on. You nailed it what I was trying to say for a while in this thread.

[logan415]

Perhaps, but let's not misread "more open to engaging conversation" as "sexual interest." If I were in a foreign country and a stranger came up to me and started talking, I'd probably talk to them too, because I'd be caught off guard, I'd have to process the interaction through the lens of a different culture and their customs, try and figure out the type of interaction it is: friendly, deceptive, etc. I wouldn't ignore them like I would a crazy guy on the subway.

 

Here in New York guys will walk up to you on the street and ask you if you want to buy drugs. Other guys will approach you, try and shake your hand, tell you how cool your jacket is, hand you their demo cd and then instantly curse you out and call you every name in the book when you tell them you're not interested in it. People will sell you fake tickets to things. I ignore all these people. Tourists will ask you for directions or homeless people for money, I help them. Gypsies in Europe will try to con you -- I didn't know this at first and I was very confused by it. Kids in undeveloped countries will try to steal from you, but you don't want to be too quick to accuse or be the ugly American, or whatever. Just because someone walks up and talks to you doesn't imply sexual interest. It could be any variety of things. As a foreigner, it can be tough to deduce because you're not on your home turf and oftentimes speaking a non-native language.

 

 

 

Broad stroke. I'd wager a lot of woman approached by a strange man, in their own country or not, can't help but feel the slightest tinge of discomfort or threat. It reminds me of that Louis CK bit, where he talks about how the absolute most dangerous thing to women is men. Doubtful that women being uncomfortable with strange men approaching them is an American phenomenon. I never have a second thought about walking alone at night. Lots of women probably do.

 

 

 

Do what you want. I certainly wouldn't. If someone obviously doesn't want to be bothered, I would respect that and not force myself into their attention, whatever the situation. If you see a dog, let's say a pit bull, and it's in a defensive stance, showing it's teeth, snarling and barking, would you try to go pet it? You could if you wanted, but don't be surprised if it bites you. Conversely if you see a happy, lovable labrador that runs right up to you and starts licking you and sitting at your feet, or lies down and exposes its belly, you might be more inclined to pet that dog for obvious reasons. You're not owed attention by a girl. She doesn't have some obligation to talk to you if she doesn't want to. But there are plenty that will want to and will come after you like the labrador. They give you a friendly vibe, you smell great to them, and they want to be around you -- there's no debate. It's infinitely easier if you just stick to those rather than writing off all dogs. Maybe that pit bull will take notice of how much fun the labrador is having with you and suddenly realize it might want you to pet it too.

 

Approaching women randomly with no green light is just a losing game in my opinion. It's like walking up to someone randomly and asking them if they're an accountant. They haven't given you any indication that they're an accountant, no tax returns on hand, no green visor, etc. But you walk up and ask them anyways, for whatever reason, thinking "maybe this person's an accountant/maybe this person wants to talk to me for some unknown reason." It's just a total crapshoot.

 

I feel like if OP's impression of American women is largely those he's walked up to and hit on randomly, then of course he's got a skewed view of them -- he's just been grasping at straws. Same with foreign women. If his only experiences with them are limited or under extenuating and/or anecdotal circumstances, I think it's a bit too soon to start making general assumptions.

 

I been on online dating services such as POF and OkCupid and had no luck. After a few years I gave up and when to a site called Fdating which stands for Foreign Dating and I was shocked how often I was getting messaged. While on OkCupid I got views, I did not get any messages from women. I have message several on OkCupid but no response I guess they found me not attractive or boring. If American women don't find me interesting then I will go somewhere else where women do find me a person they would date.

 

Have I tried Tinder? No! I would fail there just like I did on OkCupid.

Being in the San Francisco the male population is 51% while women at 49% so yes I'm at a disadvantage. This makes women to be picker making guys to get dates really challenging. So yes because of the gender imbalance it will be hard which is why I'm looking elsewhere. If the stats were the other way around I think it would be easy to get dates.

 

if I cannot approach women on the street and cannot meet them online then how can you expect someone to date Pretty much the world never. This is why I'm looking into dating overseas I had it with America in general and over I'm done here. tired of trying something that fails. Its like trying to fix a Windows 95 using old PC parts. Just not going to work.

[normal person]

I been on online dating services such as POF and OkCupid and had no luck. After a few years I gave up and when to a site called Fdating which stands for Foreign Dating and I was shocked how often I was getting messaged. While on OkCupid I got views, I did not get any messages from women. I have message several on OkCupid but no response I guess they found me not attractive or boring. If American women don't find me interesting then I will go somewhere else where women do find me a person they would date.

 

So what did the foreign women find so appealing about you that the Americans didn't? How did you "connect" with foreign women in a way that American women are incapable of? My guess is a lot thought that you're American, from San Francisco, which means to them that you probably have a lot of money and are a potentially a great path to citizenship and an easy life. Foreign women message western men indiscriminately. It happens to me all the time even though I state I only date locally. What are the instances you see it happening the other way, western men having to look abroad, typically in less prosperous countries?

 

Have I tried Tinder? No! I would fail there just like I did on OkCupid.

 

Here's the thing: Most people are able to find some degree of success in person, online, or both. The people who don't are the outliers who can't figure it out. Do you feel like there might be some kind of common denominator here? Is it really everyone else's fault?

 

Being in the San Francisco the male population is 51% while women at 49% so yes I'm at a disadvantage. This makes women to be picker making guys to get dates really challenging. So yes because of the gender imbalance it will be hard which is why I'm looking elsewhere. If the stats were the other way around I think it would be easy to get dates.

 

Typically, east of the Mississippi things are skewed in the opposite direction. Especially in New York, there are way more women than men, last time I checked.

 

if I cannot approach women on the street and cannot meet them online then how can you expect someone to date Pretty much the world never. This is why I'm looking into dating overseas I had it with America in general and over I'm done here. tired of trying something that fails. Its like trying to fix a Windows 95 using old PC parts. Just not going to work.

 

 

This mentality of being "owed" something always bothers me. "I've tried [all these things that'd never work and have avoided doing the uncomfortable, difficult things that probably would work], how can you expect someone to go out with me?" You don't get the benefit of the doubt for trying half-assedly and failing. You only get the prize if you figure it out successfully. Have you tried going to a bar like everyone else to meet someone with ease? No, because you don't like bars. That's your problem; a huge limitation you put on yourself. Have you really exhausted every other option or method? It's like you're golfing, and you're teeing off with a 9 iron and wondering why your score is so bad. Well, have you tried teeing off with a driver? "No, I don't like drivers." That's your problem, not a valid reason to criticize the game or the other players, and still expect to get handed a trophy at the end.

 

I feel like you're trying to eschew a lot of blame and place it unfairly on American women in general. Everyone gets dealt a different hand but we're all playing the same game here. Can American women be tough? Yeah, they are arguably the most privileged, catered to swath of people on Earth. But most of them end up with someone. Odds are that guy they end up with didn't know what he was doing the first few times around, but he learned from his mistakes, improved his life, got a great job, and realized how to crack the nut. Yeah, it's a competitive, cut throat environment where you'll likely get a partner of similar market value to yourself, but it's that free market attitude that's helped push our society to where it is now; if you want better, be better. You said earlier that you'd "done everything you can do," you were resistant change (amongst the worst things you can possibly be), yet what you were doing was just walking up to women randomly, (which I think is a horrible idea for reasons mentioned above) and giving them some ill-conceived pick up routine, as if that's the best you can do. Then you have the gall to decry the women for being unreceptive to it.

 

You can do this international thing if you want by all means, but I just don't see any practicality to it (I'd be worried, if anything). I'm also not a fan of the way you maligned American women while refusing to change, refine yourself, or take a good, long look in the mirror.

Edited July 30, 2016 by normal person

[logan415]

So what did the foreign women find so appealing about you that the Americans didn't? How did you "connect" with foreign women in a way that American women are incapable of? My guess is a lot thought that you're American, from San Francisco, which means to them that you probably have a lot of money and are a potentially a great path to citizenship and an easy life. Foreign women message western men indiscriminately. It happens to me all the time even though I state I only date locally. What are the instances you see it happening the other way, western men having to look abroad, typically in less prosperous countries?

 

 

 

Here's the thing: Most people are able to find some degree of success in person, online, or both. The people who don't are the outliers who can't figure it out. Do you feel like there might be some kind of common denominator here? Is it really everyone else's fault?

 

 

 

Typically, east of the Mississippi things are skewed in the opposite direction. Especially in New York, there are way more women than men, last time I checked.

 

 

 

 

This mentality of being "owed" something always bothers me. "I've tried [all these things that'd never work and have avoided doing the uncomfortable, difficult things that probably would work], how can you expect someone to go out with me?" You don't get the benefit of the doubt for trying half-assedly and failing. You only get the prize if you figure it out successfully. Have you tried going to a bar like everyone else to meet someone with ease? No, because you don't like bars. That's your problem; a huge limitation you put on yourself. Have you really exhausted every other option or method? It's like you're golfing, and you're teeing off with a 9 iron and wondering why your score is so bad. Well, have you tried teeing off with a driver? "No, I don't like drivers." That's your problem, not a valid reason to criticize the game or the other players, and still expect to get handed a trophy at the end.

 

I feel like you're trying to eschew a lot of blame and place it unfairly on American women in general. Everyone gets dealt a different hand but we're all playing the same game here. Can American women be tough? Yeah, they are arguably the most privileged, catered to swath of people on Earth. But most of them end up with someone. Odds are that guy they end up with didn't know what he was doing the first few times around, but he learned from his mistakes, improved his life, got a great job, and realized how to crack the nut. Yeah, it's a competitive, cut throat environment where you'll likely get a partner of similar market value to yourself, but it's that free market attitude that's helped push our society to where it is now; if you want better, be better. You said earlier that you'd "done everything you can do," you were resistant change (amongst the worst things you can possibly be), yet what you were doing was just walking up to women randomly, (which I think is a horrible idea for reasons mentioned above) and giving them some ill-conceived pick up routine, as if that's the best you can do. Then you have the gall to decry the women for being unreceptive to it.

 

You can do this international thing if you want by all means, but I just don't see any practicality to it (I'd be worried, if anything). I'm also not a fan of the way you maligned American women while refusing to change, refine yourself, or take a good, long look in the mirror.

 

And that is okay. You right I don't need to be owned anything. But you and others cannot expect to to live my life like this. You have to remember not everyone can be this person American women want. I just can't. You telling me to go to the Bar to kill myself with a possible feature kidney failure by consuming alcohol just to meet women. So to date women in America number one requirement: YOU MUST DRINK!! OTHERWISE NO CHANCE!

 

 

That means I need to head to another country and find someone who else find me interesting. I can't change the way things are in America but I can go elsewhere where I will succeed. If you think its okay to wait 10+ years of your life and say keep trying then you can do that and be my guess. As a guy we have shorter lives so me going international is my option to try enjoy what love life I have left.

 

What American women does not like in me a foreign women may actually like. All this green card and money I'm getting tired of hearing it and its getting really old. You been watching too much NBC Dateline. You act like American women are not gold diggers like you their perfect girls in the damn Universe. Anyone can be gold digger not just foreign women but all. I also want to mention US has tight restrictions on international marriage. They do the Homeland security check where they answer both people in question in detail to see if the marriage is real or if she in the green card. If they find her lying she will be sent back and never return to the US. All the mail order bride stuff is heavily monitored and very much less likely to happen with the tight security in placed when President Bush sign a bill in 2005 for international marriages.

 

There are pros and cons to everything and sure there will be cons to international dating but I'm sure the pros will outweigh the cons. Yes I have to spend money to travel but if you travel right its not as expensive as you may think.

Edited July 30, 2016 by logan415

[carhill]

IME, it's the repetitive travel that adds up, figuring a couple grand per trip even if on the cheap in-country. It was actually during that period that I learned how to travel cheap and it became easier over time. I tended to fly into one location and use the internal train systems for movement around the country. Train travel was cheap and pretty much still is. The main difference now is that, with the internet being commonplace, information is out there and one rarely can get a nice apartment for a few bucks a night. Back in the day, the people would move out and in with family to get that rent which amounted to a few months income for one month. All that has changed.

 

One thing for sure, your American accent/English language and ethnicity will likely turn heads. I look Russian and dressed black (dark clothes, typical of those times) and still turned heads. My interpreter told me to shut up with the English and don't talk as much on the street so as not to attract attention. Heh.

 

Oh, and don't eat/drink the dairy. Stalin's revenge. Nothing like being glued to the seat of the toilet in the head on the overnight train with the cold blast of air from the winter night blowing up one's bum.

[logan415]

IME, it's the repetitive travel that adds up, figuring a couple grand per trip even if on the cheap in-country. It was actually during that period that I learned how to travel cheap and it became easier over time. I tended to fly into one location and use the internal train systems for movement around the country. Train travel was cheap and pretty much still is. The main difference now is that, with the internet being commonplace, information is out there and one rarely can get a nice apartment for a few bucks a night. Back in the day, the people would move out and in with family to get that rent which amounted to a few months income for one month. All that has changed.

 

One thing for sure, your American accent/English language and ethnicity will likely turn heads. I look Russian and dressed black (dark clothes, typical of those times) and still turned heads. My interpreter told me to shut up with the English and don't talk as much on the street so as not to attract attention. Heh.

 

Oh, and don't eat/drink the dairy. Stalin's revenge. Nothing like being glued to the seat of the toilet in the head on the overnight train with the cold blast of air from the winter night blowing up one's bum.

 

HAHAHA.

 

Was the attention bad or good?

[carhill]

I met more single women on the street than I ever did at home. For myself, that was key, since about all I met around here, and got fooled by a few, were married women.

 

The downside was attention from the police looking for a bribe, er, to see my papers. My driver had some card he'd hand to the officer and they'd just leave. I don't know what it was but he seemed to be pretty well off for a customary Ukrainian, driving a relatively new Kia and he took me to a local Odessa airfield to give me a run-through on his plane. Personally, I think he was connected (like organized crime) but heh I survived. He never asked to get paid until the end of the job which was different than everyone else, who negotiated.

 

Anyway, be sure to budget for that kind of stuff, unless your WOVO and your lady is handling. Even then, I'd have a backup plan. Once on the ground in a strange place where everything looks like from an alien planet, it's easy to feel really, really alone. Maybe not so much now with all the tools out there but it can go sideways pretty fast so be prepared.

Edited July 30, 2016 by carhill

[logan415]

Thanks for sharing your experience in Russia. If I visit Russia I would go for Moscow. Its big city with lot of tourists.

[redbaron007]

Thanks for sharing your experience in Russia. If I visit Russia I would go for Moscow. Its big city with lot of tourists.

 

Ukraine would be a better bet. Kiev is smaller than Moscow and has an unbelievable number of stunning women. I visited Kiev as part of an MBA field trip and had I not been newly married at the time (10+ years ago) I would absolutely have gone out with a few of them. Literally all the women at the client company were stunning, including the married ones. They were all educated, professional women, friendly and approachable. I remember we had evening cocktails and I'm sure quite of few of my married classmates hooked up. I also remember a Turkish classmate of mine hooking up with a beautiful doctor he met while we were hanging out at a nightclub. When we returned to London, we were still in a daze. Till date, even though I've visited many other countries on all continents, I'm dazed by the sheer number of stunning women in Kiev I saw 10+ years ago.

[logan415]

Ukraine would be a better bet. Kiev is smaller than Moscow and has an unbelievable number of stunning women. I visited Kiev as part of an MBA field trip and had I not been newly married at the time (10+ years ago) I would absolutely have gone out with a few of them. Literally all the women at the client company were stunning, including the married ones. They were all educated, professional women, friendly and approachable. I remember we had evening cocktails and I'm sure quite of few of my married classmates hooked up. I also remember a Turkish classmate of mine hooking up with a beautiful doctor he met while we were hanging out at a nightclub. When we returned to London, we were still in a daze. Till date, even though I've visited many other countries on all continents, I'm dazed by the sheer number of stunning women in Kiev I saw 10+ years ago.

 

I heard Ukraine is good as well. Lot of nice ladies there and very feminine. I actually may try there first before I attempt the big country Russia.