Confused Posted June 15, 1999 Share Posted June 15, 1999 My wife and I have been together for several years, but when we met I moved in very suddenly. We have been a great couple, however in the last year or so things have been going somewhat awful. My wife is going through some very personal times right now that involve her childhood (sexual abuse), and she is finding it hard to have me living here while she deals with her emotions on the things that have happened to her in the past. I love her with all my heart and will do anything to help her situation, so that I may remain her husband and lover for many more years to come. Recently shes been having a hard time expressing her love and feelings to me; we dont hug, kiss, or anything else for that matter very often anymore. I feel I have to ask if I want any affection from her, and this is making me feel extremely insecure about our relationship. My wife, and I, have decided that for things to be better for her, and us, the best thing would be for me to find my own place. We will be staying together as if we were dating becaue when we first met we didnt have a transition period of dating, or courtship, so this will be a way of renewing our love for each other. She tells me that she wants to fall in love with me, the way I have with her, and she also assures me that she wants me in her life. She says she cant be sure about what will happen in the future, but she tries to assure me that she wants to be "in love" with me but she needs to love herself first. I quess what my question would be, "Am I being selfish by having these negative thoughts about moving into seperate homes? Or should I be looking at this situation with a more positive aspect and support her anyway I can?" I love her extremely and will do whatever it takes to keep her loving mer, and I hope this action we are taking is a sound one. Thanks for listening signed, Confused Link to post Share on other sites
Kaz Posted July 6, 1999 Share Posted July 6, 1999 Hi I'm in a similar situation my boyfriend and I moved in together 6 months ago and things have gone downhill ever since. He has decided to move out. My view is that we have never really tried to work it out he just hides everything and then gets fed up. I think we need to talk things out. Then again I know that he feels that he needs space to figure things out. I realize that this could be good for us but I worry that either we will grow apart or that we won't solve anything. I think you should try to take this positively but be prepared if things don't work. Espaically if she has made up her mind. Talk to her and if this really what she feel she has to do then support her. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
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