Foxtail Posted July 26, 2016 Share Posted July 26, 2016 My parents went out to dinner with their friends last night, and according to my dad were having a great time. Then they went home and my dad went to get ready for bed. My mom wasn't coming in and then he heard a glass break in the kitchen and went to ask her what was going on and she had taken the glass and slashed her wrists. He got an ambulance and she is in the hospital now, but I guess she kept telling him she wasn't going to stand in "their way anymore." And she saw the way he was looking at her. My dad is confused and keeps saying if he was looking at anyone it was her. He says he loves her, and I believe him. He is absolutely crushed by this, my wife and I tried to get him to change his clothes and he wouldn't, and tried to get him to sleep and he wouldn't. He just wants to watch her and be by her side. How should I help them? Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted July 27, 2016 Share Posted July 27, 2016 I am sorry for your troubles, Foxtail ... this is probably going to sound like I'm scrabbling for answers, but does your family have a history of mental health disorders? Not as in "ah, they're verifiably nuts," but more along the lines of people needing prescription medications to make sure their blood chemistry is balanced? Because depression and other blood-chemistry problems can cause someone to act out of character, and to differing degrees, depending on what's depleted and how much. I'm sure the doctors will do a battery of tests to rule out different causes, but whatever they discover, do not take it personally ... sometimes a person's body just goes haywire, and you have to figure out the right regimen to bring it back into order. So, if your mom is prescribed meds, please help her understand that the goal is to get things back to a stable condition as possible, whether it's anti-depressants or some other needed medication. Encourage her to take those meds, and not to despair if it takes awhile to find the right match -- I was lucky and the first anti-depressant I was proscribed responded well with my body chemistry, although a friend told me she had to go through several different prescriptions before they found a good match. It's a hit and miss thing; you just need to have faith there is a solution, and to encourage your mom not to give up if the answer is medicine. At least I'm hoping for y'alls sake the answer is something simple. as for your daddy ... poor guy. I can't even begin to imagine how this has impacted him. And it sounds like he really loves your mom to a point that he wants to make things right for her however he can. Assure him that the answer is there, but it's a process that's in the making, and in the meantime, the best way he can help your mama is to take care of himself so that he's at his prime (or close to it), not run himself ragged trying to help her, because then no one wins. I hope y'all get answers quickly, and in the meanwhile, your family is in my prayers Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted July 27, 2016 Share Posted July 27, 2016 I'm very sorry OP. How traumatic this must be for all of you. This is very strange to me. Does your mom have a history of mental illness or sucidal tendencies? Has your father ever cheated on her? It just doesn't make sense for a normally happy and mentally healthy woman to suddenly attempt suicide, especially not a mom. Something is going on. Have you had a chance to talk to your mom without your father present? She's the only one who can explain this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Foxtail Posted July 27, 2016 Author Share Posted July 27, 2016 Mental illness and medication isn't anything I've ever been made aware of. She's usually very bubbly and outgoing. Cheating is something that I know was suggested to her in the 80's. A friend had told her he was with another woman, but I don't know if it was true or not. I know she was really messed up by that accusation. I did ask him if he was attracted to the woman they went to dinner with and he said no. Then listed all the things he thinks are "gross" about her. In contrast he always talks about how beautiful my mom is, especially after a few drinks, and that happened probably last week when we were at a party together. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 27, 2016 Share Posted July 27, 2016 She is mentally ill, whether you noticed or not. And some mental illnesses can come on as an adult. You will just have to not let your dad and mom sweep this under the rug and I assume he took her to the emergency room? She will need to see a psychiatrist immediately, or be admitted in the hospital where she can also get psychiatric care. I'm so sorry you are going through this. She may have paranoia or be bipolar or be depressed or any number of things that contribute and they're not always obvious. Be sure she gets help. Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted July 27, 2016 Share Posted July 27, 2016 How should I help them? Let them know you love them both very much. Offer to do practical daily-life tasks to fill in for them such as grocery shopping, cooking, mow the yard, clean the house, etc. Your efforts to maintain the normal daily flow of life will be of great comfort to them. I'm so sorry this has happened to you, and I'm sending up prayers for you and your family. Link to post Share on other sites
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