ow !!

[mjsk]

Hello. I am new to this site. I am hoping I can get someinsight on my story.

 

Basically the MM is an ex boyfriend of mine. We been havingan affair for over 2 ½ yrs now. I am currently in a relationship just not married.

 

Let me give a little background first. Met my ex bf in August of 2009 I was newly divorced with a 4yr he had a 3 yr old who is has fullcustody of and never married. We met and basically fell head over heels instantly.I was so in love as was he. Soul mates so to speak.

 

Our relationship only lasted 3 months but those 3 monthswere the best. We had a connection not a sexual one just one I cant describe.The way he looked at me just said it all in his eyes. He ended our relationshipbecause according to him we were in 2 different places. Let me just say that both [our children got along but mine was a littlerough with his. She ended up scratching his son and my bf Dad questioned it andthought why are you dating a woman who’s child roughs yours up. His Dad my exbf Dad I mean is controlling and even though he never admitted the real reasonwhy he ended it with me I have feeling it Is due to his Dad pressuring him andhis Dad thinking I wasn’t good enough for his son as I didn’t have a fancy titlebehind my name, also I was divorced damaged goods. After our break up we wouldstill hang out as FWB I just wanted him around so I settled for just that.

 

Thatwhole FWB thing lasted 1 yr, so that brings us to 2011. Once the FWB came to anend I would reach out to him from time to time. One time I did and he told meto not contact him anymore as he is engaged now this happened in July of 2011so I of course didn’t make any contact with him I went my way and ended up meeting my current bf in August 2012 everything was going great withhim wasn’t love at first sight like with my ex but it was good.

 

My ex contacted me via email in Sept 2013 you could say restis history that’s when our affair began. He was married 2 yrs and I was with mybf for 1 yr. We have told eachother that we have to end this numerous times butfor some reason we cannot we just keep coming back for more. Feelings haveresurfaced for me and for him. I honestly don’t want him to leave his wife andfamily they have a little girl together as well as his own son. I don’t want tobe the reason he ends his marriage. I were going to end it let it be on his ownterms for his own reasons not to be with me. He admitted he has feeling for meotherwise he wouldn’t be doing this if he didn’t those are his words.

 

I love my current bf just not the same as I do my ex bf theMM. It’s a different kind of feeling I get with him such as intense chemistryand connection. Can anyone give me advice or insight to this? I need to getover him and just move on but it’s so damn hard..

Edited July 27, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
formatting ~6

[anika99]

That was a difficult read due to the formatting but I did my best. Your first mistake was in allowing this guy to use you as a FWB when you really wanted more. Now your second mistake is in allowing this same guy to use as his little plaything on the side. He may have feelings for you but not enough feelings to divorce for you. Or he may have very little or no feelings for you but senses that he has to say he does to keep you interested in messing around with him. You have let him use you from the start. He doesn't have any respect for you because you don't treat yourself with respect. You have further lowered yourself in his eyes by now cheating on your bf to fool around with him. Yes I know he's a cheater too but guys like him are hyprocrites and while they justify their own cheating they don't want a woman they can't trust. Now he knows that you are lying and deceitful so if he considers his wife trustworthy and loyal all the more reason he will never choose you over her.

 

You are wasting your life on this jerk. The nature of your relationship leads me to believe that if he ever did become single he would ignore you while he sought a new relationship and once he had that new relationship secured he would come looking to mess around with you on the side again. You are also disrespecting your bf and wasting his time. Tell him you have been cheating on him so he can decide if he wants to invest himself in a relationship with a woman who isn't faithful and doesn't respect him. What you are doing right now is tricking him into a relationship with you and that is very cruel of you.

[mjsk]

Sorry about that. That is probably due to copying and pasting. Thank you for getting through that and responding.

I agree I that was my first mistake. I should of never been FWB I did it cause I wanted to see him and just be with him which I shouldn't off.

I know that I'm not his plaything as his wife is more that willing to have sex with him but she turns him off due to her negative vibes this is what he tells me. I know from afar it seems like he is just telling me what I want to hear, but being I was the one in a relationship with him I know he isn't doing that. No doubt he loves his wife but he has unresolved feelings for me. I actually want to end this with him for good this time. I told him yesterday I need to cut ties from him. he hasn't responded back so maybe this is the end. He is also in process of moving to new home which is about 50 mins away from me so its a good thing for me that he is at a distance. Thanks for your feedback!!