My Bathingsuit, his closet.

[Carrie]

I'd first like to thank everyone who responded to my dilema "do not enter" that I posted on April 17th. I appreciate the suggestions. For those who don't know what happened to me, in a nutshell, I was missing a new bathingsuit. I looked everywhere and finally found it in my brother's closet. Not long after that, I noticed another bathing suit missing. I found that one in my brother's closet also.

 

I wasn't sure how to handle the situation. I had two concerns. On one hand I was very annoyed that he was taking my bathingsuits. They're mine and I paid good money for them. I don't want him taking my personal things without permission. The other concern is what is he doing with my bathingsuits, and should I be worried about him.

 

For those who responded, I just wanted to let you know how I handled the situations so far. Yesterday morning while we were home and nobody else was around. I said to him "For a while I couldn't find my bathingsuits, but I looked and found them in your room. I wonder how they up there?..." I could tell he was a little uncomfortable. He said, "I don't know" and left the room shortly afterwards. He has been quiet around me since, and I think he's uncomfortable and embarrassed.

 

I didn't say anything else to him. I'm not exactly sure what, if anything, I should do next. As far as addressing both issues, I kind of chickened out. I want to be supportive. If anyone has other suggestions I'd love to hear.

 

By the way, for those wondering, he does seem to be interested in girls. He does not presently have a girlfriend. Both bathingsuits were one piece suits, I'm not sure if he has done the same thing with my sister. I'm hesitant to reveal my discoveries to her. I don't want to embarrass him further.

[Tony T]

You need to very firmly but kindly let him know you don't want to ever find your bathing suits, or any other parcel of your clothing, in his closet. Let him know you want him to stay away from your clothing and out of your room.

 

Sit him down privately and tell him know that lots of people have fetishes about the clothing of the opposite sex and there's nothing to be embarrassed about. Tell him if he has such a fetish, he needs to be very discrete about it and leave your things alone. That's all you need to say.

 

This could easily be a young man experimentation thing which really has no meaning. Or he could have a full blown thing about women's clothing. Whatever the problem may be, he is living in your house and taking your clothes and therefore it is your problem as well. Don't make any announcement or disclose this situation to others in the home and let your brother know you will not do this if he shares his feelings with you and allows the two of you to talk this out.

 

Whatever you do, don't make a joke about it or put him down. This will rapidly shut him off.

 

I don't think this is a serious situation right now but only you will find out through talking to him...if he will open up. He may be very confused about certain feelings he has...or, again, it may just be a curious male thing.

 

If you find that he is actually having a fetish about female clothing, talk to a professional and see how this matter should be handled from here. It's a pretty sensitive and embarassing situation for him...and would be for most people.