Bipolarlove Posted July 28, 2016 Share Posted July 28, 2016 Me and my boyfriend are in a hard time right now after i lost my job. We've been staying at friend's houses and asked his mother if we could stay with her a few nights. The first night she said it was fine and then the next morning she said he snuck me in the house. They got in a fight because he had asked if he cleaned her house if we could stay. She then proceeded to say he never does anything for her. So we left and went back to his friends house for the night. Next day we come back and she had the neighbor tell my boyfriend that he could stay but i wasnt allowed, knowing i have no where to go either. So he told her he wouldn't stay. The neighbor set up a tent for us in his side yard. I was told i wasnt allowed inside on a 90° day plus humidity but he was allowed in. We ate toast in the morning when we slept in the tent. She made me replace her loaf of bread then said i wasnt allowed to eat her food. So i got my own. She then yelled at my boyfriend because i wouldnt share the spicy sweet chilli doritos with her four year old grandson. But she never said anything to me. Then we went grocery shopping for food we were going to share with them and was told if we brought it there she would throw it out. So we took it to her other sons house who said thank you and is letting us sleep at his house. Inside. Its just on the floor but its not the dirt. Today we asked her for a ride and she picked us up. Made us buy her food (which was supposed to be to replace the gas) then after she took us back to her house said i would have to walk to my new job. Which is the whole reason we asked for the ride. All this while saying to my face im the best girlfriend he's ever had. But no matter how many times i say i dont want to be there because she treats us like crap he makes me go back or else i have no where else to go. I dont feel like im wanted. Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted July 28, 2016 Share Posted July 28, 2016 Where is your family? Why do you feel like it's his mother obligation to put a roof over your head, feed you and drive you around while your own family isn't expected to do anything for you? I doubt his mother is the wicked witch you make her out to be. I suspect if she were here seeking advice we would be hearing a very different story. Not that your feelings aren't valid but his mother has a side too and her feelings are also valid. What are your long term plans besides drifting around with your bf and being put up by others? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bipolarlove Posted July 31, 2016 Author Share Posted July 31, 2016 Did i make it out to be that i was mooching? We asked to stay a few nights on a couch while i looked for a new job which btw i got. She tells me to my face i am the best girlfriend he has had. His exs have lied and stolen from her. But her neighbor who has only known me three days treats me better. We have been together a year and half and she has known me the entire time. Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted July 31, 2016 Share Posted July 31, 2016 You are talking about asking his mom to put you up, then spending the night with a friend, then sleeping in a tent in the neighbors yard and then staying with the brother, so I reasonably asked what your plan was so that you didn't have to rely on others for lodging. I also asked why you are expecting your BF's family to assist you rather than your own family. Another reasonable question. His mother can think you're the queen of England, that still doesn't make her obligated to you. I like my male family members' girlfriends very much. That doesn't mean I want them staying at my house. Link to post Share on other sites
Clep Posted July 31, 2016 Share Posted July 31, 2016 This seems like behavior from a mom who is working to set boundaries and not be used by her children. She is keeping track of things for a reason. I would look for evidence of why she is responding the way she is. If his ex's lied and stole from her, she is well aware her son has issues finding functional people to be in a relationship with. Without a change in his thinking patterns (which would take personal development or counselling) he will continue to choose the same type of women and she is aware of that. Like attracts like. She would have no indication you are not like that and I suspect you have more of the same qualities the other women had and just don't see it, like they didn't. Yes, it is mooching. You have just obtained a new job. You have to wait for two weeks or so to get paid, save up a damage deposit on a place and first month's rent. That isn't an overnight process and his mom knows that. I would quit finding blame in her and start taking responsibility for yourselves, thoughts, behaviors and outcomes. She doesn't owe either of you anything and she doesn't have to take on your problems to be a good mom. This post oozes entitlement and I suspect that is what she is responding to. Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted July 31, 2016 Share Posted July 31, 2016 Why is your boyfriend not working? You haven't mentioned HIM having a job at all. Or is it his 'job' to find places for you to sleep at night while you actually work to support you both? Link to post Share on other sites
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