Better person?

[mikeylo]

Have your present or past partner made a better person of you?

 

I always believe and even my friends believe that especially men, should stay with the woman who motivates them to become a better person. I married one. If it wasn't for my wife, I still would be a jerk( her words, lol! ). I agree though

 

Some people bring out the worse in us while some inspire us to be better. When two ill fit people come together, they either are a disaster or somehow click for the better.

 

What say?

[Redhead14]

Have your present or past partner made a better person of you?

 

I always believe and even my friends believe that especially men, should stay with the woman who motivates them to become a better person. I married one. If it wasn't for my wife, I still would be a jerk( her words, lol! ). I agree though

 

Some people bring out the worse in us while some inspire us to be better. When two ill fit people come together, they either are a disaster or somehow click for the better.

 

What say?

 

Personally, I wouldn't be with a man that needed to be a better person or who was a jerk to start with. I was never attracted to jerks However, if they had some "quirks" or things that should be tweaked and he understood that they were a little off-putting for me and/or others and he felt inspired enough to make those changes, great!

 

Usually, in a relationship like that, the guy ends up being the husband that uses the glib "happy wife, happy life" line. He's doing things just to keep the woman quiet and happy and has taken a back seat in the relationship, so to speak.

Edited July 28, 2016 by Redhead14

[burnt]

I think you and your wife are lucky to have each other. If she has brought out the best in you, then be assured that you must have brought out the best in her in other ways, because otherwise she wouldn't have stayed with you. It's wonderful when two people mutually inspire each other to be their best.

 

We all are "jerks" in some ways with our imperfections and quirks. Each of us is like a single piece in a jigsaw puzzle with rough flawed broken edges; and the partnership is perfect when the two people's rough warped edges fit perfectly and smoothly to glue to the two pieces of the puzzle to one whole connected part.

[OneLov]

Have your present or past partner made a better person of you?

 

I always believe and even my friends believe that especially men, should stay with the woman who motivates them to become a better person.

 

What say?

 

I believe the same is true for women.

 

There is an overwhelming amount of research to support the self-expansion model is essential for experiencing long-term, fulfilling interpersonal relationships.

 

"(Self-expansion model) proposes a dynamic process of continual human growth and development; that we're not static (or stagnant) beings. Instead we are motivated to have new experiences and learn new things. That's why you're reading this website, right? You are curious and want to learn about new stuff; that's self-expansion!

 

When you apply this idea to close relationships, you come to understand that one way in which relationships are mutually fulfilling for the partners involved is that your spouse, significant other, boy/girlfriend, etc., can facilitate your own growth (and vice versa, hopefully). What's really cool about the self-expansion model is that it provides a mechanism for a whole range of things that occur in relationships. For example, it speaks to why we might be attracted to certain people over others (i.e., one person offers abundant opportunities for growth compared to others), what strategies might be effecting in making that first date a success (i.e., do something novel and exciting, like bungee jumping) and why certain relationships are more fulfilling than others (i.e., greater opportunities for self-expansion). It also makes predictions about how relationships develop over time (e.g., early in a relationship you spend tons of time together, learning new things about each other) and how they are sustained (e.g., engaging in new and exciting activities together). In addition, this perspective offers explanations for why one might stray from a partner (e.g., a new partner might offer new opportunities for self-expansion), why some relationships eventually fizzle out (e.g., boredom that occurs when self-expansion with a current partner dries up), why breakup can hurt so much (e.g., losing a piece of oneself), and how we can cope with breakups in a positive way (e.g., consider the ending of a relationship as an opportunity for new sources of self-expansion)."

 

 

Source: Self-Expansion: Personal Growth through Relationships - | - Science of Relationships

[Larryville]

OL – good points.

 

Basically a good healthy and cohesive relationships with a quality person, who loves you unconditionally, has your interests at heart and supports you 100 percent. Both of my wives at critical junctures in my life greatly enhanced my life and helped me pursue goals I MAY have not pursued without their support and yes helped me be a better all-around person. This is something only older folks will get and appreciate. But much of what OL states is right on.

 

A good partner and relationship enhances your life.

 

If your (your partner) relationship evokes stress, heartache, mistrust, clash of goals and expectations your partner diminishes you in any way shape or form tis a relationship not worth being in.

[Mr. Lucky]

Have your present or past partner made a better person of you?

 

Without question. In terms of the quality of the person, I married up. My wife is slow to anger, quick to forgive, generous to a fault and fiercely loyal. And she made it plain early on she wouldn't accept any less from me, admittedly a struggle at times given the bad habits I'd developed in a contentious first marriage. I've been at times a slow learner...

 

Mr. Lucky