1.5 Years LDR- Should I fight for her or move on?

[jayaway]

So my story begins with my LDR girlfriend of 1.5 years breaking up with me 2 weeks ago. It was very heartbreaking. At the time I was not sure why this happen. She said that her feelings of me changed and that LDR is getting really hard for her. We have had plans that we would be able to live together, but it would not happen for another 6 months to a year, and I feel the LDR is slowly taking a toll on her is because her feelings for me has changed. She also mentioned that I was the least experience guy she's been with, her being my first girlfriend and she has always dated guys a few years older than her.

 

The two weeks have been hard, but I'm slowly coming to terms with all of the event. I reevaluated our relationship realized that I was being too clingy. The following weeks before the break up, I was a bit uncertain and uneasy and crowded her too much. She had a lot going on for her that week and I selfishly try to impose on her. I asked her if there was anything wrong and she basically told me what she felt.

 

I tried NC but had a few slip ups. The following day after the initial break up, I again stupidly try to make her reconsider, but to no avail she said she doesn’t feel ready to continue this relationship. I know I messed up and I should have waited and gathered composure, but I really care for this girl and want to make things right.

 

After that I waited about a week and contacted her and ask her how her day was going. She replied well and said she's doing good and asked about my day as well. Later that night she gave me a phone call and told me she wanted to remain friends and I asked her if there was any real problem with out relationship. She told me nothing was wrong with me, but she's been slowly falling out of love and after much thought, believed this is the best solution.

 

I told her I understand where's she's coming from, that I don't agree with her, but have come to accept her answer. All of this happened last Saturday, so it's been a good 4 days. I don't plan on contacting her until after I learn to be happy by myself.

 

I definitely can see how I behave at the end of our relationship to be different than how I was at the beginning. I was a pretty confident individual and I eventually become insecure and clingy which I believe is the main reason why I drove her away. Being LDR I know it's hard, but I want to show her that I could/have changed and win her affection again.

 

She has been with about 3 other guys in the past, all of them pursued her and she eventually caved and dated. I was her first boy friend that she openly had interest in and we started talking so I guess I might have a stronger connection than her other ex. And even though she's the dumper, I think she's taking this break up hard as well. I finally changed all of my social media pictures (fb,instagram,twitter) of our couple picture to another one, but she has yet to change hers. She uses social media on a daily basis as it involves her job.

 

Again this was my first relationship so I was inexperience in gauging how fast we were moving and when to back off on certain issues. I know the odds aren't in my favor, but I hope to be able to learn to be happy with myself and then try and revisit on my relationship.

 

I do have to note that she said LDR was starting to be hard on her. I understand that we will slowly disconnect from each other because we can't be there for each other regularly.

 

I apologize for the long text, but I would like some advise. It is obvious that I want to win her back some how and I know it will not be soon. I don't want to rule out the possibility that we will never reconcile again and start anew.

 

What do you guys think? Are my chances really stacked against me? Is this all a lost cause? Or should I just go with the flow and take this one step at a time?

 

Thanks!

 

tldr; ldr gf broke up with me 2 weeks ago. I want her back, but realize I have to learn to be happy with myself before I can get with her. Any advice for my situation?

[Mrin]

Dude,

 

Really sorry to hear about your break up. I'll be honest with you, when a woman does this it usually means she is done done. The isn't any coming back from it... Atleast not for a long while and when I say long I mean years.

 

Move along. Best of luck!

[SevenCity]

Yea unfortunately she won't likely get feelings back for you. The good news is since this is an LDR it will make it easer to get over (LDRs have long periods of not being with your partner so it's not completely alien).

 

This advice is coming from a guy who is trying to get his ex back. It's been 2 months, she still loves me, we've seen each other and had sex a bunch of times and she's still not ready to come back. I wouldn't even try in your situation and I'm not too hopeful about mine.

 

In these two months I could have been well on my way to healing but this was the woman I was planning on marrying. That said, I would never subject myself to this again. It sucks, it hurts, and it will never allow you to heal. Trust me - you are better off walking away with the knowledge that she's not coming back.

[jayaway]

Thanks for the advice guys. Yeah that's the general vibe I'm getting at. It sucks and it's hard and I don't like to quit, but everything seems out of reach at this point. Two weeks of no contact hasn't been fun. We went from skyping/texting from 3+ hours a day to 0, talk about quitting cold turkey.

 

I know she misses me and that this breakup is just as hard for her as it is for me, but I just caring by nature. So knowing she's going through a rough patch as well is like double for me.

 

It's just miserable that under the right context I think we would have worked out. And yes I had plans on marrying this girl once I sort through my personal issues. It just sucks that not only did I lose my girlfriend, I also lost my best friend.