Another "She's-More-Than-Just-A-Friend-To-Me" Problem

[woahitsJohn]

OK... honestly, I can't believe I'm asking for advice on a subject I always played by ear before, namely girls. This is quite a long story at times, if only because I can't help but add some storylike elements for reader entertainment. But if you're lazy and you want a condensed, albeit much less effective and entertaining version, then just read the last paragraph. Don't feel bad, I get lazy sometimes too.

 

So yeah... classic situation... I met this girl through a mutual friend, and immediately I find myself appreciating her physical appearance... I get to know her a little better, and it turns out she's a really nice girl, too. I've got a crush now! Hooray!

 

As I hang out with her more, I get the idea from her body language that she likes me. Now, when I say "body language", I'm not talking about her giving me a cute little smile every now and then. I'm talking about awkwardly putting our arm... putting one of our arms... putting... ok, I put my arm around her waist, and she puts hers around my neck... as we're sitting around chilling, talking with a few friends.

 

I'm talking about one night when she was exhausted and waiting for her ride to show up, and asked, "Is it okay if I sleep on you?", followed by curling up on the couch and resting her head on my shoulder. Very clear... ahem... body language.

 

Later... okay, this is the fifth-grade part, just grin and bare through it... my best friend tells me he was talking to the original friend who brought the crush to my house, and she (the original friend) said that the crush likes me. Yes, I hear from someone that they heard from someone that she likes me. Hooray for reliable testimony. So anyway, I like to think I'm pretty good at "reading" girls, and this bit of knowledge, however shaky, reinforced my suspicions that she has a thing for me too.

 

Now, here's the problem: I've seriously never been alone with her. Every time I've seen her, there has been at least one other person around. And despite being on a somewhat close level physically, we always talk on a friendly level, only occasionally "joking" about how I am madly in love with her, or she worships the ground I walk upon.

 

I've occasionally tried using some slight innuendo when I talk to her, but this is usually met with a stare from her that I can only describe as a unique blend of puzzlement, nervousness and fear. Yes, it turns out this girl is quite the innocent, a type of girl which I am not used to dealing with.

 

She'll often call me a "loser" in jest, the way friends do. I've tried going to a movie with her... she sits there with her eyes seemingly permanently fixated on the movie screen, sitting in the center of her seat, not giving me any indication of how she would react to an advance. Her hand's nowhere in sight, and the only possible move it looks like I could make would be to put my arm around her... and it looks like that would catch her completely off guard, like if I snuck up behind her and went "BOO!". So the movie ended uneventfully.

 

So anyway... cutting to the chase. I like her, she likes me (I'm pretty sure she does anyway)... but we talk like we're just friends. It feels weird to suddenly change the mood of conversation from "Wee we're friends!" to "I guess we're something more than friends."

 

I feel awkward making a move on her in all of the usual "making a move" places, as for some reason she seems utterly uninterested in me when I'm with her at such places.

 

So, I guess what I'm really asking here is... now that the ice is broken, how do I break the... uh... "Second Layer" of ice? That is, how can I change the tone of conversation from friendly to more-than-friendly without seeming overly aggressive or making things awkward?

[westernxer]

Call her at random and invite her to do something by yourselves... that's a start.

[Artscrafter]

Yep, Westernexer's got it. Heck, that could very nearly have been the story of the girl I'm dating now. Just get into a position to spend more time with her alone, preferably doing something you already know that you both like to do, and let her get more comfortable with the idea of being around just you.

 

You've already got the concept of being a couple in both of your minds; go with that and it'll be easier to bring it up. Something low-key, and it's easier to say something than ask something. "It's funny, everyone must think we're a couple by now. We should try that." ...or something like that could work. Depending on how comfortable she seems to be with the idea. But she seems interested enough.

[drgnflybethany]

I LOVED this post... what a GREAT sense of humor and style of writing you have....

 

Okay... girl's point of view... I'm DYING, DYING for my crush to give me some sort of sign past the sign that he's interested - I'm DYING for that first kiss... so much so that it will probably be unremarkable by comparison to the many fantasies I have about it... *ahem* Anyhow... even though she's "innocent," you have to remember that this is still a human being, she still has emotions, she still has hormones, and she still probably would want to be kissed.

 

Do you know if she's particularly religious - or is it just an innocence factor? If it's religious, you seriously have to respect that... and unfortunately, you won't be getting past this stage for quite sometime, regardless..

 

I think, in time, the ice will thaw - just like in time, I'll get my kiss... but time is sometimes too slow, sometimes too fast...

 

Just sucks to be on the kiddie rides when you really want to be tall enough to ride the roller coaster... But, if you have total confirmation from a friend of hers that she likes you... I agree w/ west... call her up and invite her to do something on your own... and don't be afraid of baby steps...

 

So - you're a guy with a crush - who's probably on the opposite end of what I'm experiencing... I'm at a 95% certainty level of interest on his part... (closest I get would be 99%)... we always seem to skate the edge of anything too personal. He keeps the conversation focused on me.. and that's good, but there are times when I seriously can't talk to him, as he looks into my eyes, and as we're talking... I'm just sooooo *cringes* dorky.

 

I'm the Communications Director for a local group... I'm majoring in marketing.. PR is my thing - I can talk to a number of people on a wide variety of topics...

 

Whenever he opens his mouth, shines those baby blues my way, I just turn into this megadork... And he constantly looks into my eyes... constantly gives total focus when we're talking, like I'm the only girl in the room... never looks away... never tries to..

 

So many people in my life will tell you how intelligent I am.. around him, it's like I suddenly took a stupidity pill.. things I KNOW, things I have KNOWN for a long time, fly out of my head... I ask dorky girlie questions about technology, when I was the Technology Manager in the State Headquarters in the Ohio Democratic Party during the last election....

 

I so act like one of those girls I was always afraid to be - always afraid I couldn't ever be in a million years... This is totally NOT planned - it's not an act... I can't talk around him..

 

I have a million questions for him - and think of a million ways the conversation could go... better... right after he leaves...

 

So - if you've got any advice for me... that would be appreciated, as well..

 

But, good luck with the girl.. I'm sure it will work itself out soon...

[westernxer]

Originally posted by drgnflybethany

So - if you've got any advice for me... that would be appreciated, as well..

 

Hey, you should start a new thread with what you just posted... that way we can focus on your situation without detracting from his.

[drgnflybethany]

Originally posted by westernxer

Hey, you should start a new thread with what you just posted... that way we can focus on your situation without detracting from his.

 

Have tried to.. but apparently those posts aren't particularly interesting...

[JP166]

Originally posted by drgnflybethany

around him, it's like I suddenly took a stupidity pill.. things I KNOW, things I have KNOWN for a long time, fly out of my head... I ask dorky girlie questions about technology, when I was the Technology Manager in the State Headquarters in the Ohio Democratic Party during the last election....

 

I so act like one of those girls I was always afraid to be - always afraid I couldn't ever be in a million years... This is totally NOT planned - it's not an act... I can't talk around him..

 

I have a million questions for him - and think of a million ways the conversation could go... better... right after he leaves...

 

 

Love is crazy. It turns the smartest of people into sputtering idiots, who can no longer think straight, and then when they find the courage to speak, it comes out a big mess.

I think no matter what, you won't be able to avoid that "person" you're afraid of being. I think all of us wish we could be a little more confident around that one person that makes us weak in the knees. And I think the only cure for that is to somehow try really really hard to pretend your feelings aren't as strong as they are.

 

This has to do with the fact that when one person likes another, we usually tend to put that person up on a pedestal. We see them as having no flaws, as totally perfect, and then look at ourselves as someone who can't even speak a full sentence without sounding stupid. This sputtering often leads people to feel frustrated that the one person you want to be able to see you as the real you, and smart and funny, and all the great things that make you you, somehow doesn't come out that way.

 

I'm in a situation where I've liked one kid for quite a while. Now I'm a fun person to be around, but I've been told by many people that if only the kid I liked got to see my goofy or laxidasical side, he'd be seeing the real me. But I can't let down that wall for fear of looking not up to par.

 

Then the one person I'm completely open with and totally myself ends up liking me in a flash. Probably because I didn't put him up on a pedestal. We were friends, and I looked at him as only that. So I was myself. I wasn't nervous around him. I didn't let my breath get carried away.

 

Therefore, if you're able to trick yourself into believing either that a) you can go in there and talk to the person you like without sounding like a jackass, although as hard as it may be, you know you are capable, or b) trick yourself into thinking "he's not all that and a bag of chips," you may be able to feel calmer around him.

 

Either that, or you can start drinking.

[woahitsJohn]

Originally posted by westernxer

Hey, you should start a new thread with what you just posted... that way we can focus on your situation without detracting from his.

 

 

 

Have tried to.. but apparently those posts aren't particularly interesting...

 

Haha. Give your topic an interesting title that sets it apart from all of the generic "HELP ME I LIEK SOMEONE!!!11" threads. If no one likes your title, no one's going to bother clicking on it to read the thread.

 

Though your problem would get more attention if it were in a thread of its own, I don't mind offering you a little advice. I don't know this guy, but being a guy and having experience with guys, I can tell you we are often dumb as wooden planks. Sometimes we miss even the most obvious signals, simply because we're guys. We're oblivious.

 

That said, your guy may not have picked up on the hints you've dropped (if any). If he's especially perceptive, he may have noticed this or that and thought "Is she into me?" but then dismissed this suspicion, not trusting his gut reaction. I tend to be very confident, even arrogant, around most girls, and a lot of times I won't trust myself just because... well... just because.

 

In order to get past this, you have to be obvious enough that he can overcome a guy's doubtful nature. It's your job as the girl to be exceedingly flirty, and I mean lay it on thick. for example, if he says something he means to be funny, laugh it up for a bit and say something like "You crack me up!" This accomplishes two things:

 

1) He'll feel complimented and better about himself. People are self-centered creatures, and any person will judge how much they like you by how they feel around you. If you compliment him whenever you're around him, he'll feel good about himself whenever he's around you, and thus like you better.

 

2) The hidden message behind your compliment is "I like you." Not necessarily "I like you as more than a friend", but "I like you as a person". I mean, let's face it, we all like people with senses of humor, right? Now if you use enough compliments, he'll begin to get the idea that maybe you like him in more way than one. He'll have doubts at first if he's like most guys, so don't relent; keep complimenting him until the idea gets cemented into his mind. You like him.

 

Just be careful you don't overdo it. Too many compliments will make you seem shallow or insincere. Only compliment him in places where the compliment is warranted. For instance, if you really didn't think his joke was funny, chances are, it wasn't, and he probably knows it, so don't make some exacerbated effort to laugh at it. But if you thought it was kinda funny, go ahead and exaggerate a bit, and give him a "You're so funny!"

 

Wow. I'm pretty good at this advice-giving stuff (ego swell). Now if only I could solve my own problems.

 

She came over today with a couple friends, including the original friend through whom I met her. Today she (the crush) pretty much acted like any other platonic female-friend I have. It seems to me that there are certain people around whom she feels comfortable acting "friendly" with me, and others that make her act like I'm nothing special to her. We've pretty much had no physical contact whenever the original friend is around, or when people outside her "inner circle" of friends are present. But when it's just her and her "bring-everywhere" best friend, she seems a little more open with me.

 

I think you're right; less people around equals more comfortable with me. I'd invite her to a movie alone, but she is seriously always around her bring-everywhere best friend. I would invite just her, and her friend would probably show up. D'oh.

 

I don't want to say something such as "Come alone", for fear of sounding like an evil kidnapper rapist person, or at the very least getting an awkward "Why?" from her.

 

Also in the back of my mind is the fear of running out of things to talk about which would result in an awkward, mood-killing silence. It's much easier to keep the conversation going when there are more people involved, as someone else can always come in with their own thoughts, as opposed to two people, where the conversation drowns if the other person has little or nothing to say on the subject matter. But I suppose that's something you can't really give or get "advice" about.

 

So I suppose my slightly more open-ended problem has gotten more focused now: How do I get her alone, separated from her tag-along best buddy?

[JP166]

Come right out and tell her. Because obviously being subtle isn't working. And it's kind of weird that her best friend is everywhere she is.

[scared shy]

JP166 Come right out and tell her. Because obviously being subtle isn't working. And it's kind of weird that her best friend is everywhere she is.

 

Depending on her age, it's not weird for her to bring her best friend. If woahitsJohn is being to subtle and she can read him, she might be bringing her friend to gage how much woahitsJohn likes her. We girls do strange things at times just like males. Especially if this girl is innocent, she may not want to get her feet wet until she is 100% sure.

[drgnflybethany]

Originally posted by woahitsJohn

Haha. Give your topic an interesting title that sets it apart from all of the generic "HELP ME I LIEK SOMEONE!!!11" threads. If no one likes your title, no one's going to bother clicking on it to read the thread.

 

Did do - it's under... "As suggested by..."

 

 

Originally posted by woahitsJohn

But when it's just her and her "bring-everywhere" best friend, she seems a little more open with me.

 

Well, my "bring-everywhere" best friend was my ex-husband... so, I don't really remember what that's like... Most best girlfriends get the hint and make themselves scarce when the best friend's crush asks the best friend out to a movie.. MOST girls get the hint that their presence is not being requested... However, she could be bringing her along to avoid the sticky silence that you are so afraid of yourself..

 

Originally posted by woahitsJohn

but she is seriously always around her bring-everywhere best friend. I would invite just her, and her friend would probably show up. D'oh.

 

I don't want to say something such as "Come alone", for fear of sounding like an evil kidnapper rapist person, or at the very least getting an awkward "Why?" from her.

 

So I suppose my slightly more open-ended problem has gotten more focused now: How do I get her alone, separated from her tag-along best buddy?

 

How about:

 

"I was wondering if we could go see a movie sometime - just the two of us? "

 

or

 

"If you're up for it, maybe the two of us could catch a movie..."

 

You're right - saying "Come Alone" does echo stalker, serial-killer, bad Scary Movie plot line...

 

If I'm being asked this, as a girl, (not that I am currently being asked this...) I think, gee.. he wants a date.. And, as much as I would personally like to try a threesome (*ahem*) I'm pretty much going to leave my best friend out of it.. But phrasing it in such a way as, "you know, I would really like it if the two of us could... " will get the point across that you would like to be alone with her...

 

But, being the pack animals that we are... girls I mean - the only tricky part is now how do you get her away from her tag-along best-buddy just long enough to ask her the all too important question.. and for that, I'm going to make you ask, b/c I'm an unnaturally cruel person at certain times of the month...

 

Originally posted by woahitsJohn

Also in the back of my mind is the fear of running out of things to talk about which would result in an awkward, mood-killing silence. It's much easier to keep the conversation going when there are more people involved, as someone else can always come in with their own thoughts, as opposed to two people, where the conversation drowns if the other person has little or nothing to say on the subject matter. But I suppose that's something you can't really give or get "advice" about.

 

Seeing as I turn into the human equivalent of a mashed potato when my crush is around - I'm not the best for giving advice on what happens if there's a lull in the conversation... Best thing - Movie first, then out for coffee/lunch/dinner.. and when you go out for coffee/lunch/dinner, don't talk about the movie first off - do everything you can to save it for the lull you're so scared of.. or, if you live in an urban area, how about going to a museum? Houston has a fabulous Museum of Natural Science - and it's so loud, that it's hardly like the artsy-fartsy traditional Museums you go to..

 

I was reading the John Adams book by David McCullough - and he makes a point that Abigal Adams' father told her not to talk about people, but issues...

 

So, if all else fails... try to find an issue you are both passionate about.. For Jack and I, that's politics.. and we tend to get into that subject a bit more than I would like - but that's probably out of nervousness.. and partly because that's how we started speaking in the first place.. My laptop has a "Stitches for Kerry/Edwards" sticker on it (as in Lilo and Stitch) - and he asked me what it meant.. poor boy had never heard of Lilo and Stitch.. he's gonna have to watch that movie soon...

*shakes head*

 

But, do keep us informed, okay?

[woahitsJohn]

Originally posted by drgnflybethany

Did do - it's under... "As suggested by..."

 

Hmm? Can't seem to find it. Would you mind posting a link?

 

 

 

 

Originally posted by drgnflybethany Well, my "bring-everywhere" best friend was my ex-husband... so, I don't really remember what that's like... Most best girlfriends get the hint and make themselves scarce when the best friend's crush asks the best friend out to a movie.. MOST girls get the hint that their presence is not being requested... However, she could be bringing her along to avoid the sticky silence that you are so afraid of yourself..

 

Yeah, this girl gives off that "shy, innocent, inexperienced" vibe. I'm worried that she wouldn't be comfortable being alone with a guy... like she'd get all nervous and freeze up... but I guess I'll have to wait and see.

 

 

 

Originally posted by drgnflybethany How about:

 

"I was wondering if we could go see a movie sometime - just the two of us? "

 

or

 

"If you're up for it, maybe the two of us could catch a movie..."

 

Ah! I should've thought of something along these lines. I'll definitely give something like this a try... just as soon as I work up the guts...

 

Originally posted by drgnflybethany If I'm being asked this, as a girl, (not that I am currently being asked this...) I think, gee.. he wants a date.. And, as much as I would personally like to try a threesome (*ahem*) I'm pretty much going to leave my best friend out of it..

 

HAHAHA! Thanks for that; that seriously made me laugh out loud. I think I would much enjoy a threesome as well, but given that I can't even get her to a movie alone I suppose I'd have to either pursue such a... uh... such a project with other girls or wait for this particular girl to come out of her shell of innocence. And given that some very... ahem... not innocent... girls I know would still never consider a threesome, I think I would be in for quite the wait with this lady.

 

Originally posted by drgnflybethany But, being the pack animals that we are... girls I mean - the only tricky part is now how do you get her away from her tag-along best-buddy just long enough to ask her the all too important question.. and for that, I'm going to make you ask, b/c I'm an unnaturally cruel person at certain times of the month...

 

Aww, I have to think stuff up on my own? *throws a fit*

 

Haha, but seriously, I'm guessing if I can manage to get her alone once, I can do it twice, thrice, many times. Her tag-along buddy may even start to appear less and less as the need for a third party to ease the tension disappears as she grows more comfortable around me alone.

 

 

 

Originally posted by drgnflybethany Seeing as I turn into the human equivalent of a mashed potato when my crush is around - I'm not the best for giving advice on what happens if there's a lull in the conversation... Best thing - Movie first, then out for coffee/lunch/dinner.. and when you go out for coffee/lunch/dinner, don't talk about the movie first off - do everything you can to save it for the lull you're so scared of..

 

Excellent idea saving the movie as emergency conversation fodder... I usually talk about the movie as soon as we're out of the theater, as sort of a knee-jerk reaction, I suppose, since the last ~2 hours of my life have been occupied by 1) the movie and 2) pondering the repercussions of making a move on her. Obviously the latter is not going to be the subject matter, so my brain chooses the former, and suddenly the most readily available piece of conversation is exhausted at a time when there may be other topics available.

 

 

Originally posted by drgnflybethany or, if you live in an urban area, how about going to a museum? Houston has a fabulous Museum of Natural Science - and it's so loud, that it's hardly like the artsy-fartsy traditional Museums you go to..

 

When you mentioned the word "museum", I instantly thought of your cliche "art" museum with the Mona Lisa on the wall, etc etc. But I agree, a more creative date setting can definitely spark the creative juices for a conversation.

 

There is a Six Flags theme park near here; I've always wanted to take a date there, picturing the entire date perfectly in my mind: The first thing she comments on is how hot the weather is (both Louisiana and theme parks are known for being burning hot, especially during the summer), so I suggest that maybe we take a water ride to cool off. In line I ask her where she wants to sit in the ride (front, middle, back...) and explain how I've heard you get "the wettest" at different places from different people. She decides on the middle, being a somewhat shyer personality wary of sitting right in the front. (somehow the wild, outlandish girls are never interested in me. I guess opposites attract?) We get on the ride; I whisper in her ear, "Listen, if you get, y'know, scared or anything, and you simply HAVE to grab onto something or someone for support, I'll be right here, okay?" She will let out a giggle, either laughing at my little joke or politely dismissing my offer, I can't tell. She lets out a squealy scream as we speed down the tracks (though she does not grab onto me, unfortunately), feeling the cold, crisp water splashing down upon our heads and clothing. "Feel cooled off now?" I'd ask her. She'd let out a little laugh. "Well now we're all wet! We need a fast ride to dry us off." I would say, looking over at one of the more speedy rollercoasters (not the wildest one in the park, I want to pick something she'll actually agree to going on). The lines for the faster rides are nearly always somewhat long, so I suggest we play a rousing game of "Spot the Tourists" while waiting. Finally we reach the front of the line; I look back behind us and note how little we have managed to move in such a great time (usually these lines zigzag back and fourth, meaning if there were no line, it would only take a few steps to get from the "beginning" of the line to the "end"). As we rose up into the sky I would say something corny like "I can see my house from here!" The drop begins (she still does not take me up on that grabbing onto me offer) and she lets out a darling little scream. "Aww," I think to myself, followed closely with thoughts of "AHHH!" As we step off the ride, I notice the spinning swing... set... thing... nearby, and exclaim "Whoa! I have not been on that since I was just a little kid! We MUST GO." As we pick where to sit among the primary-colored seats, I tell her about how I must have a red seat, because I ALWAYS sat in a red one. After the ride is over, I confess to her that I actually go on that swing ride every time I come to the amusement park, but I felt silly about it so I made up a story to validate my desire to go on a kiddie ride. I blush the slightest bit, which she finds absolutely adorable.

 

...I could go on, but I just noticed the giant, impenetrable wall of text I've produced, which is not even related wholly to the topic. D'oh, I've just jacked my own thread. Oh well.

 

 

Originally posted by drgnflybethany So, if all else fails... try to find an issue you are both passionate about.. For Jack and I, that's politics.. and we tend to get into that subject a bit more than I would like - but that's probably out of nervousness.. and partly because that's how we started speaking in the first place.. My laptop has a "Stitches for Kerry/Edwards" sticker on it (as in Lilo and Stitch) - and he asked me what it meant.. poor boy had never heard of Lilo and Stitch.. he's gonna have to watch that movie soon...

*shakes head*

 

He's never seen Lilo and Stitch? Honestly, that's just shocking. Even my most guyish, jockly friends admit to having seen that movie! Then again, I don't exactly hang out with the jock type too much...

 

 

Originally posted by drgnflybethany But, do keep us informed, okay?

 

That I will, don't you worry

[drgnflybethany]

Originally posted by woahitsJohn

Hmm? Can't seem to find it. Would you mind posting a link?

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t66073/

 

Originally posted by woahitsJohn

Yeah, this girl gives off that "shy, innocent, inexperienced" vibe. I'm worried that she wouldn't be comfortable being alone with a guy... like she'd get all nervous and freeze up... but I guess I'll have to wait and see.

 

Ah! I should've thought of something along these lines. I'll definitely give something like this a try... just as soon as I work up the guts...

 

I give off a couple of sets of vibes.. the first one is that I'm a shy, quiet, goody-goody... which is generally the way I am around new people.. and depending on how I feel about them, the longer it takes me to loosen up..

This could be all that she's going through...

 

But don't beat yourself up for not thinking of these things - when you're in the middle, common sense seems to be on the outer edge... It's just like when you can't remember a word and stress out over it - when you let your mind relax, it comes suddenly - or when you look at a problem from all angles, but can't come to a solution - and then take a break... coming back to it, brings a fresh perspective and allows you to "see" a result you couldn't have fathomed before..

 

Originally posted by woahitsJohn

Aww, I have to think stuff up on my own? *throws a fit*

 

Haha, but seriously, I'm guessing if I can manage to get her alone once, I can do it twice, thrice, many times. Her tag-along buddy may even start to appear less and less as the need for a third party to ease the tension disappears as she grows more comfortable around me alone.

 

Nah - I was just being cruel - temporarily... I honestly have no idea how to get her away from her tag-along friend - but you may have to ask her in front of the TAF - which may be better, as the TAF will get the idea...

 

That is entirely possible - tag-along friends are usually given the heave-ho when things get more comfortable - sad but true...

 

Originally posted by woahitsJohn

...I could go on, but I just noticed the giant, impenetrable wall of text I've produced, which is not even related wholly to the topic. D'oh, I've just jacked my own thread. Oh well.

 

As for the long posting on the date - I really didn't need to see your fantasy for the perfect date... it was interesting reading.. but, you know.. we girls know why you want us to go on water rides and it has nothing to do with being "hot". Your subtlty would only be matched by standing in front of a poster reading "Wet T-shirt" contest..

 

Originally posted by woahitsJohn

He's never seen Lilo and Stitch? Honestly, that's just shocking. Even my most guyish, jockly friends admit to having seen that movie! Then again, I don't exactly hang out with the jock type too much...

 

I know - extremely shocking.. to diverge back to me for a little while - that's sort of how we met... (and I will do what I can to make this a short story...)

 

I had seen him in the coffee house a couple of times and thought he was really cute - too cute for me... One serendipitous Saturday, I came in - and there were no tables - and only a few chairs - one of which was next to him.. I asked him if it was being occupied.. and he said no - so, I sat down - and he tried to clear space as much as possible from his table, so that I could set my laptop down - and I tried to take as little room as possible. Well, I created a sticker, while working on the campaign that says, "Stitches for Kerry/Edwards" and he wanted to know what it meant.. so I told him - Stitch, as in Lilo and Stitch.. He looked confused.. and I said, you know, the Disney movie - he said, I'm sorry, I don't have any idea what you're talking about... (I'm betting he does now, but I haven't brought it up...) and the thought going through my head was, You poor boy... Then, he left... the next time I saw him was the following Monday - he told me, I've been meaning to tell you - I worked for Bush" - and what went through my head that day was... and you thought this would impress me, how?

 

We've been slowly working through this whatever it is since then... With subtle signs on both sides of the aisle...

[drgnflybethany]

Originally posted by JP166

This has to do with the fact that when one person likes another, we usually tend to put that person up on a pedestal. We see them as having no flaws, as totally perfect, and then look at ourselves as someone who can't even speak a full sentence without sounding stupid.

 

Either that, or you can start drinking.

 

Well, seeing as how we meet in a coffee house, drinking (unless it's a highly caffeinated beverage) is out of the question - and particularly since highly caffeinated beverages would make the situation worse...

 

Actually, I like dorks... I want one of those t-shirts that says, I love nerds or I love geeks, or I love dorks - whichever it is - anyhow - I do put him on a pedestal - but a couple of weeks ago he did something totally dorky in front of me - he probably regrets it, but it made me smile...