My girlfriend openly talks about "affair" with other girl

[wolf96]

Hello, I wonder what to do about this problem.

I am with my girlfriend, we are together for a mounth. We are happy, we meet on daily basis, we have sex and stuff. What to say more? I am typical beta-memefan-boy, 5/10 or 4/10.

Thus, I am very afraid to lose my girlfriend, who is a nice 8/10. She's very jealous, as I do. I had to cease contact with girls on my Facebook Messenger, so did she with the boys, and after some time she started to tell people, that I am her boyfriend.

Well, everything's perfect, beside one fact. She has one girl on the messenger (to which I have a access). The girl is openly lesbian girl, from a city which is 150 km far away, and she talks dirty stuff. My GF does it aswell but in less direct way. What's more the girl wanted my GF to come to the tent @ woodstock 2016 festival, for my luck, GF spent the whole festival with only me. GF mentionted topics in the chat with her such as: loving her,pussy-licking, meeting (in far future), some useless crap.

Of course, I adressed the problem, I asked her to block the girl, unfortuntely she is unwilling to do so. I asked to mention that I am her boyfriend, she refused to. As you can see, there's straight way to argument. I started to express my feelings, that I don't want her talking to the girl, she's been mad. Finally after many minutes of tiring conversations, she's said that: "You can leave". I mentioned how I was beta? I started to apologize, and I ensured her that I accept that she talks with the girl.

After some minutes of minutes, she told me, that she did wrong, and ensured me that she is unserious about her, she was "feeling it" before I was her BF, and just like writing with her. Why did we fight? I started to say that, if she can't tell the truth to the girl, I will do using her or my account. Am I complete loser? I love this girl to the death. She's claiming that she would not meet her, sometimes she would skype her. I am very nervous about the idea of using webcams and skype, since it would reveal her. If she does it, I came with idea of coming into the scene "uncounciously" and kissing her. Maybe I am just paranoic.

What's more, I used a fake FB account I do have, and I added the girl, trying to redirect her feeling to the catfish, well, it didn't went wrong, beside that, she openly stated that she's in distance relationship (She didn't disclosed with whom, she might be internet love collector, or just referencing my GF!). Even though GF's done so much for me, she rejected the guys, stopped contacting them, she buys me fags to smoke, she spreads her legs for me ( Even though, that's the only thing she does, when we have sex). So I love her, and she does me probably too. Im just worried, cause the girl probably loves my GF too, and I am afraid that my GF is emotionally bound with the girl. I am afraid to lose her. She don't want to end relationship either. I said "You choose. Her, or me.", GF: "So you can leave, if you want.", Me: "So you choose her?", GF: "No, I would be just alone right now".

Do I overreact? How to properly get rid of the bitch trying to **** my girlfriend? Is the GF not lying about the lack of deep feeling about girl? Is she playing me, wanting me to be jealous. If you ask us our age, we are young lads, She is 19, I am 20. Sorry for my english, It's not my primary language.

[PegNosePete]

It makes no difference that it is a girl or a guy she is doing this with.

 

Dump her. Find someone who respects you and will be faithful to you.

[fenix]

You have a serious problem of low self confidence and as long as you do not gain some confidence on yourself be prepared to be everyone's doormat. This girl is with you not because she pity you but because she likes you but I don't think she will keep finding you attractive if you don't show her some self respect... There is nothing less attractive than a needy person.

You are only as beta as you wanna be... My advise to you would be to tell this girl that she can't be your girlfriend and have her fun with her other girlfriend too, she is putting you in an impossible situation and destroying the little self respect you ever had by making you accept this situation.

 

If she is not willing to give up her relationship with this lesbian friend for you then your relationship is already doomed, is just a question of time, you are better off by breaking it yourself, at least you will show her you are not just a minion she can play with how she wants.

[elaine567]

She may be an 8/10 and "out of your league" but that is no reason for you to put up with her lesbian friend and their dirty talk.

 

YOU gave her an ultimatum, you or the girl, and she told YOU to leave.

YOU think you are in control in that you can find a way to get rid of the friend, but your gf has told you where her loyalty lies and it isn't with you, sorry!

 

Your only choices are to put up and shut up, or you take control and dump her.

It is up to you.

 

BTW "she spreads her legs for me " is not a great way to talk about your gf, it shows massive disrespect.

Her reluctance to back down over this "friend", may not be the only issue in this relationship.

She may be just using the "friend" as an excuse to break up with you.

People break up in all different ways, some introduce things they know are "dealbreakers" to their SO, so that the SO pulls the plug instead.

[jen1447]

What is a "typical beta-memefan-boy?"

[smackie9]

Dear there is nothing you can do to change her behavior. You are giving your love to the wrong person. If you want different, you need to look elsewhere. BTW you are not the one who is causing her to behave this way towards you, this is who she is. Take it or leave it.

[tndawg]

Trust is the key to any relationship and it can't be built on secrets. What do you really want in a relationship? It doesn't sound like this girl wants the same things you do. What are your long term goals for a relationship?