queenie01 Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 Do you think you have a better chance of getting back together with your ex if they arent dating anyone and they dumped you?? Do you think they will miss you more or have more regret if they arent dating anyone, rather than if they dumped you for someone else.... Just curious, if anyone has any experience with this???
lindya Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 You might get back with them, but you'll be carrying with you the baggage of having already been dumped by them once. Difficult to have a healthy power balance in a relationship like that.
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 I don't think your chances are any better. Being dumped for someone else is pretty bad, but when someone breaks up with you out of a conscious choice to just not be with you, and then ices you out for over a month without so much as even eye contact - it bodes even worse. If they missed you and weren't seeing anyone else - then... they'd be with you on some level or at least have dependable and friendly contact. If they are choosing to be alone and icing out contact over being with you - then there's very little chance they will miss you if they wanted out so badly that being alone became the better choice between staying and going. Dumping someone for no other reason than the fact that you don't want to be with them doesn't cause that person to feel regretful. That sort of dumping comes with a much stronger conviction and determination. The sort of dumping that is done for external reasons is usually the type that comes with regret, because if that factor hadn't been present they might not have broken up with you.
Author queenie01 Posted June 30, 2005 Author Posted June 30, 2005 I guess that can be true, but if you didnt end on bad terms I think good relationships may deserve a second chance... then you may say if it was a good relationship it shouldnt have ended... but fear can cause a good relationship to end.
Author queenie01 Posted June 30, 2005 Author Posted June 30, 2005 LucreziaBorgia - question for you?? What if the person who broke up with you possibly has commitmentphobia? Do you still think they have no regrets and there is no hope? Dont get me wrong, im not holding out for hope any longer, 2 months has gone by and ive give up despite the fact that i still love him. We talked last week for the first time in 2 months in person and he wanted to know why i was so tan and where i went? He also told me all about his life, basically he did a 180 from where he was 3 months ago...3 months ago, he was buying a townhouse, wanted me to eventually move in and rent my place out etc... now he is moving to the city into an apt with 2 guy friends, i almost feel like he is going thru a quarter life crisis.
lindya Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 fear can cause a good relationship to end. That's very true, but in the right relationship the fear of losing that person would surely over-ride other fears?
Author queenie01 Posted June 30, 2005 Author Posted June 30, 2005 I actually just started reading 2 books: "Men who cant love" and "hes scared shes scared" and its almost scary how much they relate to what happened to me and how my relationship was ended, completely out of the blue... Thats what makes me believe that he freaked out, got scared and bailed... of course i could be completely wrong but so far all signs point to that...
too_risky Posted July 1, 2005 Posted July 1, 2005 You should also read the book "He's just not that into you". It was a REAL eye opener for me. It made me angry and bitter which I suppose helps you along the healing process.
Author queenie01 Posted July 1, 2005 Author Posted July 1, 2005 I read that book and its totally irrelevant to my situation but thanks for your response.
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