dating services

[JustAWondering]

anyone use a dating service? How well do they work? What are the pros & cons?

[Miss Mojo]

well, i have never used a dating service myself, although i do know of people who have met over the net. my cousin, for example, met a girl from the u.s. and they are going to get married soon (her mother is trying to get them to wait a bit longer - they haven't known each other long). i also know of people who have formed good friendships over the net.

 

the only kind of service i use is friendfinder.com. i have a few pen-pals i have written to, and i like it this way because

 

a) i don't want a relationship right now;

 

b) i feel a lot safer just writing to people (i don't want to meet someone and knowing my luck, have them think i'm committed to a lifelong friendship after the first meeting).

 

i have also stated that i am only looking to meet people from other countries, so those who write to me with a description of "looking for soulmate", i automatically delete.

 

but if you don't want to use the internet, there are agencies that you can apply to personally. just be sure to go to a reputable one - i saw a segment on a current affairs show about agencies preying on people who are looking for love and ripping them off....taking thousands of dollars, matching them up with totally unsuitable people and the next thing you know, the agency has disappeared into the abyss - with personal information on clients and thousands and thousands of dollars.

 

if they won't tell you prices over the phone, it can't be good news (i live by this rule when making telephone inquiries). also, see who tries to con you by indicating this is your "last chance" for a relationship and quickly eliminate them.

 

if you want to do this over the net, create an account with hotmail or yahoo, or through the site itself. this way, you don't reveal personal information. the email address that your internet service provider (ISP) gave you, surprising enough, will send along with the email message headers plenty of personal information describing your location, your ISP, sometimes even your real name....so stick to an 'anonymous' e-mail account, as i mentioned above....i'm glad i have done this, because even though i have stated "pen pals", "friends", i have received some pretty full-on and persistent e-mails from people who don't understand that "pen pals or friends" doesn't mean soulmate or sex buddy.

 

pros?

 

* you can specify what kind of relationship you are looking for;

 

* you can specify the kind of person you are looking for;

 

* you can make great friendships;

 

* no more searching in bars and nightclubs only to almost die of shock when the lights come on;

 

* you can decide if like the sound of the person before you actually meet them;

 

cons?

 

* chances are pretty good he/she didn't say much about their less appealing and endearing characteristics.

 

* weirdo's (need i say more?)!

 

the odds are in your favor that the people you meet are "normal". just remember to play it safe and have fun looking for that special someone!

 

i hope i have been of some assistance. i'm only speaking from an on-line friendship point of view, and i haven't actually met anyone in person.

 

good luck!