Where to go from here

[blackendangel13]

Ok so as I have posted before, after a very long year apart, my ex and I have been talking via email for the past month-month and a half. We talk every work day and email about 3-4 times in those days. We are getting along pretty well. He has taken some time to address the serious issues we had in the past and we are trying to start fresh and be completely honest with each other. We are working towards a point of healing together and so far so good. Whether that means he wants to ever get back together or not, I don't know yet.

 

I am trying not to rush things. I did that in the past and made things worse. Well I got robbed on Friday (sucks I know) and was out with my friends trying to keep my mind off things and he showed up. I was in no way ready to talk to him to his face and did have that instinctive reaction to flee the scene. I did do a little to avoid him and tried to busy myself with my other friends.

 

Well he did manage to get me alone and we spent a good hour and a half talking about things. It wasn't a bad conversation, I guess it was pretty good, it was just weird. There were times where it felt like nothing had changed and I would have been perfectly justified grabbing him and kissing him. And there were times where it felt like everything had changed and we were almost like strangers. In all honesty it felt good to talk to him and see him though. He had a party at his house that night and I really wanted to go but decided I needed to take my time.

 

So what should the next step be? Should I invite him to hang out, volunteer where I will be for the weekend in a nonchallant way, or just wait for him to make a move? He is the only one that I know who actually offered to let me burn his cds because all 250 of mine were stolen. We are still talking daily, I guess I am just wondering where to go from here.

[Pocky]

If you ended the relationship, then I would make an offer to go do something lighthearted: get coffee, go to a bookstore, go CD shopping.

 

If he ended the relationship, I'd let him make the first attempt.

[blackendangel13]

It kind of ended mutually but I was really hurt. It wasn't a horrible break-up, just a very painful one. Throughout the past year he had been emailing me about how he wanted us to talk and things like "you were the best girlfriend ever" and "I don't want to be with anyone else". Basic remorseful things. I emailed him back angry emails because I was trying to move on with my life and wanted him to leave me alone. I started seeing someone else and he kept up. When I broke up with the more recent ex I got an email from him that hit me close to home and we have been talking since.

[sonyman]

What sort of things was he saying in the e:mails?

[blackendangel13]

Well it started off as basic impersonal things. Then he brought up the relationship and basically tried to make things better. He apologized for his actions, was honest with me about what was going on in his head at the time, and how he wants to make it up to me. He went on about how he is sorry that he pushed away the one person who was giving him good advice and supporting him in his hard time. After all this I said he needed to leave the past where it is and move forward because it does neither of us any good to keep rehashing painful memories. He asked if we could try to reach a point of healing together and he wants me to be a part of his future, but felt he needed to address and fix the past first. So whatever that means.

 

When we talked the other day face-to-face it was easy and felt good. Lately we have been telling each other about out everyday lives and talking out problems and bouncing ideas off each other. He gave me a good pep talk about getting my business up and running, which felt good because my friends were being less than supportive.