Girl that works in my apartment complex gave me fake number

[AceCutty]

So here’s the situation and I’m completely baffled by this.

 

 

I moved into an apartment complex yesterday and was waiting for movers. I had nothing to do so I was chatting with the front office girl. We had a very good conversation that lasted about 30 minutes. Honestly, she’s not my type at all and I wasn’t interested until I started talking to her.

She seemed VERY interested as well. Because she was working, I didn’t want to get her into trouble. So I slipped her a piece of paper that said “Dinner”? She could have said no, but said yes. Then she said that it would have to be early in the week after 6 and that she could go right after her shift. She wrote down her number on an office business card with a smiley face.

 

 

I text her today. No response. I used an app to back track the number and the owners of it are clearly an Asian family (she’s black). So it appears that she gave me a fake phone number.

 

 

Now, why on earth would she do this? She works at my apartment complex. I could just walk over to the office and create awkwardness/get her into trouble if I wanted to (I won’t, but I could have if I was an a-hole). A simple “no” could have sufficed. But, instead, she actually suggested dinner dates and times.

 

 

Wow, just wow.

[Chris2016]

Maybe she's adopted? Did you ask that Asian family if they have a black daughter? On the positive, you were proactive, good for you!

Edited August 1, 2016 by Chris2016

[normal person]

Now, why on earth would she do this? She works at my apartment complex.

 

Sounds like you answered your own question. The fact she works in your building means that if she said "no," she'd have to deal with seeing you all the time and that would be uncomfortable. This way, she said enough to keep you satisfied, yet allowed her to buy her some time to hopefully be able to avoid you somehow the next time you come rolling around.

 

Probably not the best idea to ask out people you see all the time because if they don't want to go out with, you still have to see them all the time.

[jen1447]

It does seem kinda dumb imo. If I were you I'd go back to the office and tell her you tried to call and come off like it must have been an honest mistake and let her try to maneuver around to explain it. Then say it doesn't matter anyway bc you can just come see her at the office to finalize your dates in the future.

 

(That may seem needlessly cruel but that whole wrong number thing is so lame and so played out that she deserves it. I've had GFs do that to guys before and then if they managed to get in contact w me I'd give them their real number just to put them on the spot and show them what douches they were being. )

[I Just Wanna b Happy]

It does seem kinda dumb imo. If I were you I'd go back to the office and tell her you tried to call and come off like it must have been an honest mistake and let her try to maneuver around to explain it. Then say it doesn't matter anyway bc you can just come see her at the office to finalize your dates in the future.

 

(That may seem needlessly cruel but that whole wrong number thing is so lame and so played out that she deserves it. I've had GFs do that to guys before and then if they managed to get in contact w me I'd give them their real number just to put them on the spot and show them what douches they were being. )

 

Please do not do this as it will make you look like a 100% lame. She gave you the wrong number, so? Brush it off and move on.

[jen1447]

To each their own of course but generally you tell ppl how to treat you by how much you allow them to get away with. Which is why a healthy amount of self-respect is a good practice to keep.

[AceCutty]

Sounds like you answered your own question. The fact she works in your building means that if she said "no," she'd have to deal with seeing you all the time and that would be uncomfortable. This way, she said enough to keep you satisfied, yet allowed her to buy her some time to hopefully be able to avoid you somehow the next time you come rolling around.

 

Probably not the best idea to ask out people you see all the time because if they don't want to go out with, you still have to see them all the time.

 

Personally, I think the issue is with her, not me. She could have simply said that she had a boyfriend or something. Instead, she was complimenting me constantly, talking about my great attitude and how I'm cute. Typically, these are signs of interest.

 

Also, wouldn't it be more awkward if she gives me a fake number and feigns interest? And wouldn't she be able to get in trouble for things like this?

 

I'm the customer. She's the employee. She wrote the number on a piece of paper so I have evidence. Maybe I could get her in trouble.

[jen1447]

I'm the customer. She's the employee. She wrote the number on a piece of paper so I have evidence. Maybe I could get her in trouble.

 

Nah - that would be an example of acting out butthurt and going way too far, but just generally holding her accountable is appropriate imo.

[Beach Guy]

She might have recently got a new phone and mixed-up two of the digits she wrote down for you.

 

She wrote down her number on an office business card with a smiley face.

 

Call her at the business phone on the card she gave and have a quick conversation (ask an open-ended question or two about the apartment complex or apt rules). If she's brief or 'cold' to you then you know she's no longer interested. If she's friendly/flirty, then you can ask about her phone number.

 

Keep in mind: She may have access to your rental application. The application has a lot of your personal information. Social Security Number, Date of Birth, Employer, income, credit report, criminal history report, previous residences, references, emergency contacts, etc.

[ajaxlemon]

Why would you ask out someone who works at your apartment complex?

 

I mean, this security guard at my apartment complex is pretty cute, but I'd be worried about going out with someone who's physically able to get inside my apartment anytime he wants, especially if things don't work out.

 

It does seem kinda dumb imo. If I were you I'd go back to the office and tell her you tried to call and come off like it must have been an honest mistake and let her try to maneuver around to explain it. Then say it doesn't matter anyway bc you can just come see her at the office to finalize your dates in the future.

 

(That may seem needlessly cruel but that whole wrong number thing is so lame and so played out that she deserves it. I've had GFs do that to guys before and then if they managed to get in contact w me I'd give them their real number just to put them on the spot and show them what douches they were being. )

 

The bolded part isn't cruel but just plain terrifying. Even if OP is a reliable narrator and she did want to go out with him, women are allowed to change their minds. The expectation that she has to go out with OP because she said yes once is a reflection of the rape culture we live in, and the fact that no one seems to have a problem with it (except for the one poster who just think it's "lame") says everything about the general attitude towards women.

[jen1447]

The bolded part isn't cruel but just plain terrifying. Even if OP is a reliable narrator and she did want to go out with him, women are allowed to change their minds. The expectation that she has to go out with OP because she said yes once is a reflection of the rape culture we live in, and the fact that no one seems to have a problem with it (except for the one poster who just think it's "lame") says everything about the general attitude towards women.

 

Of course she can change her mind, but the issue is needlessly lying to him about it, or in this case apparently not even having to change her mind bc she knew she didn't want to go out w him from the get-go and still needlessly lied to him about it by knowingly giving him the wrong number.

 

Having the prerogative to decide and choose dates doesn't absolve you of the responsibility to treat ppl decently, and it has absolutely nothing to do with "rape culture" as near as I can tell. Or are you assuming OP and/or ppl like him are rapists that vulnerable women are only safe from thru lying?

 

You could adapt the bold part or eliminate it altogether if you find it too scary btw, the point is just to hold her accountable. Personally I wouldn't go the humor route w that myself - I'd just tell her I got the message and that it was crappy of her but I was happily forewarned - but bro-support funnies on here often help to lessen the blow for ppl who've been dumped on.

[PegNosePete]

Avoid being wrong number'd by reading back the number, but get one of the digits wrong on purpose. If she corrects you, it's probably her real number, and she wants you to contact her. If she lets you make the mistake, it's a fake, don't waste any more time.

[MGX]

She could have put herself in a bigger mess of her own making by lying to him. Instead of simply declining his offer, she feigned interest and gave him a fake number. Now she created an awkward and uncomfortable scenario for herself whenever she encounters him in the future.

 

I don't like the practice of giving out fake numbers, but I could understand (but not endorse) if she was at a party or a club and is never going to see him again. But if she sees him regularly? That's going to be awkward as hell. Stupid move on her part.

[LookAtThisPOst]

She could have put herself in a bigger mess of her own making by lying to him. Instead of simply declining his offer, she feigned interest and gave him a fake number. Now she created an awkward and uncomfortable scenario for herself whenever she encounters him in the future.

 

I don't like the practice of giving out fake numbers, but I could understand (but not endorse) if she was at a party or a club and is never going to see him again. But if she sees him regularly? That's going to be awkward as hell. Stupid move on her part.

 

If she is going to see him again, frequently in the complex...you have to wonder if it was typo? Yes?

[preraph]

She's just one of many women who are uncomfortable saying no to men. However, if I were you, I would go into the office with her phone number and what she wrote it on and say, "Is this your phone number?" See what she does.

[SevenCity]

She could have put herself in a bigger mess of her own making by lying to him. Instead of simply declining his offer, she feigned interest and gave him a fake number. Now she created an awkward and uncomfortable scenario for herself whenever she encounters him in the future.

 

I don't like the practice of giving out fake numbers, but I could understand (but not endorse) if she was at a party or a club and is never going to see him again. But if she sees him regularly? That's going to be awkward as hell. Stupid move on her part.

 

I agree with this. If you're just trying to make him go away and will never see him again sure.

 

But if you will see him again what's the point? If she was afraid of him now she's got an angry guy on her hands. If she was afraid of being raped she could have said she's got a boyfriend.

 

I've had this done to me and I just don't understand it

[JewelD]

Or just accept it and move on. If it was a fake number, she's not interested and doesn't care. So you going up to her to 'hold her responsible' is not going to make her feel bad. She'll know she did the right thing because you're acting petty as hell. It might even be an ego boost because she'll know it really got to you, which it did if you're considering bothering this woman you didn't need to ask out while she was at work anyway.

[MissBee]

I'll go out on as limb here and wonder if it was perhaps a mistake? Are you sure you got all the numbers right? Is her handwriting clear?

 

If I see her again I'd simply say hey, I think I may have gotten the wrong number, couldn't read your handwriting, and do what PegNose suggested and read it back and see what happens. Nothing to lose here...you would either find out it's a misunderstanding or she'll act strange or suspicious and you'll know she wasn't interested but didn't know how to say it.

 

It just seems weird to me she'd go out of her way to suggest times and give a number with a smiley face if she's not interested, hence I'm voting for seeing if there was some mistake. I get giving fake numbers and all, I've done it, but it's usually tied in with other forms of disinterest...I would never suggest times for a date, say yes to dinner even, tell a man when I got off work, add smileys if I truly didn't want to. When you don't want to, you usually do the bare minimum and that is give a fake number so he leaves you be or say you have a bf which is the usual I don't like you answer.

[Cherryz]

Hhahahhaa, maybe she adopted or live with her Asian friend temporary.

Lolllllllll

 

People can make mistake thou. Calm down.lol

 

You rigth about her saying no if she ddnt want too.

Either-way even if it was fake number, why even think to mess things up for her at her job?

 

If its fake number, maybe you blind sided her.

If she works there maybe you should have give it time. See her few times talk to her few times, greet her few times, before asking her for a "date"!

She could have felt overwhelm to say yes since the convo was fun( maybe part of her job to be friendly).

 

For the way you think , because the number was not rigth i think its better

to leave her alone so she can work in peace!

You seem to get really upset if things dont go rigth. And im afraid you will

mess up her job if date and maybe relationship with her dont go well.

[GemmaUK]

If she was as interested as you say she was I think it was a mistake and she wrote the digits wrongly.

 

 

I'm the customer. She's the employee. She wrote the number on a piece of paper so I have evidence. Maybe I could get her in trouble.

However, in light of this I'd put it down to fate and she dodged a bullet. If she could see this thread she'd run a mile as it just shows you to be a person who kicks up a tantrum and trouble if you don't get your own way.

 

I think you should leave it be as whether it was a mistake or a fake number she doesn't deserve employment rouble over it. That's ridiculous and childish.

[MGX]

Personally, I think the issue is with her, not me. She could have simply said that she had a boyfriend or something. Instead, she was complimenting me constantly, talking about my great attitude and how I'm cute. Typically, these are signs of interest.

 

Also, wouldn't it be more awkward if she gives me a fake number and feigns interest? And wouldn't she be able to get in trouble for things like this?

 

I'm the customer. She's the employee. She wrote the number on a piece of paper so I have evidence. Maybe I could get her in trouble.

 

If the number is fake, you dodged a bullet. She's fake and dishonest, something you don't want in your life.

[SkyCourt]

Maybe she thought you would get angry if she rejected you. If you knew she was working why ask her at that time at all? Why not ask her when she got off and asked her for her number properly and double check it? Maybe it was a typo. Maybe she's adopted. I was. I'm a totally different race than my family. You shouldn't jump to conclusions so quickly.

[AceCutty]

I was just venting when I said those things earlier in this thread.

 

In all honesty, I wasn't really into her and I kind of felt like I was a bit out of her league. So my ego was bruised that she gave me a fake number.

 

I have no idea why she gave me a fake number and I don't care. I see her around and I'm cordial to her, but I don't have any interest in getting to know her better. Even if she came on to me at this point, I would not be interested.

 

The issue is resolved as far as I'm concerned.