My affair is over

[LostIsMe]

For the past 2 months things went from bad to unexplainably insane. The OW lied to me multiple times. I kept forgiving her. I kept chasing her. I kept trying my best to stick it out but it came with lots of drama... She couldn't tske it. She wanted space, I wanted to talk.. She shuts down and doesn't say anything... Doesn't even try.

A week ago she said straight out that she feels nothing for me anymore. It's gone and it's over. She was so cold about it. Part of me doesn't believe her but it doesn't matter she said it and it can't be undone.

 

The last time we were together we had sex she told me she loved me and needed me and all this **** and them a week later she felt nothing and doesn't love me... She's shut down, she's numb.. She's finally filing for divorce and now I'm tossed away like the trash I obviously was. She said all this in front of her friend. Had the nerve to say I'm all drama and not looking at herself and what she has been doing to me and her husband. One recent lie is I found out on the very first day that the two of us kissed, she almost had sex with someone else that's she's been with before. This guy works closely with her father....and her husband... She swears she didn't have sex but i know better. I don't care because we weren't together but this girl chested 3 times. All with people close to her husband. It's sick that I fell for this girl. Shows how good sex can cloud your mind like nothing else in this world. I have a problem only seeing the good and overlooking the bad.... Since meeting her the fantasy was great but the reality is my life has been nothing but a complete disaster since meeting her.

 

I miss her, I'm sad at times. I'm angry at times but for the past month, everytime I dealt with her my anxiety levels would go through the roof. I'm happier without her that with her. I'm crushed. I'm lonely but I'm functioning.

 

I feel so much rigjt now but the bottom line is she isn't a good person. She's not the right fit for me. For the first time I've blocked her every way possible. I am pretty sure when the dust settles with her, she will reach out. I want her to just so I can shut her down but I guess I'm being nieve.... Maybe she really doesn't love me... I thought she did

 

I'm just venting... It's been a week no contact...but this time I'm not giving her the chance to get inside my head... My thoughts of her are already inside my head....she needs to be removed from my life... I gave her back everything she bought me because 8 can't stand to look at it. Maybe it's childish but I want anything related to that out of my life... I want the bad karma of her gone... I want my life back.

 

 

I don't know how to get my life back. I'm lost.. I don't know who I am. I'm trying to find a good therapist. My other one sucked. I'm going for a woman therapist this time because 8 feel like I can relate more. I'm a sensitive guy. I'm strong and will get thru this but 8 feel like a woman will guide me better... I need guidance in a major way. 8 can't make sense of anything anymore and it's affecting my ability to smile. To focus at work or anything. I use to he very routine oriented, very focused and driven... Now I'm just lost... Roaming the streets with no destination.

 

I hate this. I hate my life. I want me back. I want the pain gone. I will never put myself in a situation like this again. It wasn't worth it in the least. This affair changed the course if my life forever. I wasn't happy in my marriage but I was good with where I was with life.

 

Anyway I don't feel like typing... My eyes are watery, I can't see my phone screen.. I just needed to vent.. I'm sorry.

[What_Did_I_Do]

Lost, I'm so sorry. Your post is making me cry too. Get it all out..cry, be angry, hurt, grieve...then breathe. No more waiting for something that will never come.

 

It's sickening how they can toss us like yesterday's trash. One week NC is great progress. One foot in front of the other.

 

If we knew of this h*ll at the beginning of the A ...NONE of us would have hopped aboard this crazy train.

 

You will be a better 'you' once you clear of this A fog.

 

Keep reading and posting here.

[sandylee1]

You sound like you're in so much pain right now. All I can say is get that therapy and continue with NC.

 

She's done what most MM do. She's disrespected her husband and used you as a plaything. Her ego has been well and truly stroked by having two men at her feet.

 

A good wife or woman doesn't do what she's done. Knowing you had deep feelings, she's strung you along and discarded you like a used tissue.

 

Get your life back and never ever entertain her being any part of your life again.

[loveisanaction]

Lostisme....

 

Look at the woman you are crying over? This is a woman who is married and is taking off her clothes and allowing men to touch and do to her body what is meant only for her husband.

 

I do not judge the married woman who cheats but you said it yourself, you are not the only man this woman has had sex with whilst being married.

 

Having sex with man who is not your husband damages your inner self to such a degree that sometimes after it's all said and done some women need therapy. Taking off your clothes for more than one man who is not your husband is an all kind of special.

 

Unless she is in an open marriage she doesn't need to be married to anybody. She is giving her body freely to men, she is behaving like she is single; her husband is having to share his wife's body with other men. Every time she has sex with you or any other man she is placing his life at risk.

 

If her and her husband divorced today and she ended up with you do you honestly think she will stop giving her body to other men?

 

Come now, don't cry over this woman. Surly you know you can do do better than this.

 

This woman needs help not more sex.

[sandylee1]

Loveisanaction is right. Would you really want to be married to a woman like her? She opens her body up to another man without guilt, shame or remorse.

 

Pity her poor husband. He stood by her side as she vowed fidelity, yet it means so very little to her. Is it any wonder men are so reluctant to get married these days with the likes of your exMW around.

 

You can do so much better and once you're healed, you will eventually find a good woman. A woman who loves and respects you for who you are.

[waterwoman]

She sounds nice.

[MidnightBlue1980]

For the past 2 months things went from bad to unexplainably insane. The OW lied to me multiple times. I kept forgiving her. I kept chasing her. I kept trying my best to stick it out but it came with lots of drama... She couldn't tske it. She wanted space, I wanted to talk.. She shuts down and doesn't say anything... Doesn't even try.

A week ago she said straight out that she feels nothing for me anymore. It's gone and it's over. She was so cold about it. Part of me doesn't believe her but it doesn't matter she said it and it can't be undone.

 

The last time we were together we had sex she told me she loved me and needed me and all this **** and them a week later she felt nothing and doesn't love me... She's shut down, she's numb.. She's finally filing for divorce and now I'm tossed away like the trash I obviously was. She said all this in front of her friend. Had the nerve to say I'm all drama and not looking at herself and what she has been doing to me and her husband. One recent lie is I found out on the very first day that the two of us kissed, she almost had sex with someone else that's she's been with before. This guy works closely with her father....and her husband... She swears she didn't have sex but i know better. I don't care because we weren't together but this girl chested 3 times. All with people close to her husband. It's sick that I fell for this girl. Shows how good sex can cloud your mind like nothing else in this world. I have a problem only seeing the good and overlooking the bad.... Since meeting her the fantasy was great but the reality is my life has been nothing but a complete disaster since meeting her.

 

I miss her, I'm sad at times. I'm angry at times but for the past month, everytime I dealt with her my anxiety levels would go through the roof. I'm happier without her that with her. I'm crushed. I'm lonely but I'm functioning.

 

I feel so much rigjt now but the bottom line is she isn't a good person. She's not the right fit for me. For the first time I've blocked her every way possible. I am pretty sure when the dust settles with her, she will reach out. I want her to just so I can shut her down but I guess I'm being nieve.... Maybe she really doesn't love me... I thought she did

 

I'm just venting... It's been a week no contact...but this time I'm not giving her the chance to get inside my head... My thoughts of her are already inside my head....she needs to be removed from my life... I gave her back everything she bought me because 8 can't stand to look at it. Maybe it's childish but I want anything related to that out of my life... I want the bad karma of her gone... I want my life back.

 

 

I don't know how to get my life back. I'm lost.. I don't know who I am. I'm trying to find a good therapist. My other one sucked. I'm going for a woman therapist this time because 8 feel like I can relate more. I'm a sensitive guy. I'm strong and will get thru this but 8 feel like a woman will guide me better... I need guidance in a major way. 8 can't make sense of anything anymore and it's affecting my ability to smile. To focus at work or anything. I use to he very routine oriented, very focused and driven... Now I'm just lost... Roaming the streets with no destination.

 

I hate this. I hate my life. I want me back. I want the pain gone. I will never put myself in a situation like this again. It wasn't worth it in the least. This affair changed the course if my life forever. I wasn't happy in my marriage but I was good with where I was with life.

 

Anyway I don't feel like typing... My eyes are watery, I can't see my phone screen.. I just needed to vent.. I'm sorry.

 

Lost, I looked you up. This woman told you she was not leaving her husband - in June 2015. I also have been in this mess since May 2015 so I get you. You are in the right place. It's time to stop. I assume she is still with her husband?

 

You've already taken the first step and separated. You should be proud actually. Most don't. They just lie and keep on seeing the other person. It's time now to keep up with the NC and decide what to do. Work things out with your wife (doubtful in my experience at this point) or get divorced and move on. It will be harder to get over OW unless you make a decision. You are in limbo land. I can promise you that if you do get divorced and meet new single women, you will forget about this woman pretty fast.

[l8estnews]

I wasn't happy in my marriage but I was good with where I was with life.

 

Anyway I don't feel like typing... My eyes are watery, I can't see my phone screen.. I just needed to vent.. I'm sorry.

 

Are you still married? Have you at least fixed this part of your life?

[LostIsMe]

Hey, to be honest I forgot I posted this. Here is an update

 

After a week of NC she emailed me... (my mistake) and apologized for how she spoke to me and bla bla. We ended up trying again and then the same **** happened again... She just doesn't understand where I'm coming from. She thinks I'm crazy but she won't even make time for me all she makes is excuses for why she has no time. So long story short, I ended it once and for all. Now her her Email is blocked. I'm not turning back this time. I've always been one to learn the hardest way possible. I told myself I'll give it one more chance and if it didn't work that's it. .. I tried. She said all the right things, but doesn't do them.. I'm done wasting my time on someone like her.

 

To be honest I'm not ready but I think I'm going to date and have fun just to keep my mind off her as much as possible. But this time I'm not giving in to her. Her husband is moving out Sept 1st but I don't believe that and even if it's true I don't care... It's over. There are much better women out there available and willing to make time

 

To answer a question above. I'm getting divorced end of story. By end of year I'm hoping it will be final.