LilMsSingle Posted June 30, 2005 Share Posted June 30, 2005 i met a guy, who is unhappy in his relationship. He is engaged and I am single. Although there is a mutual attraction we agreed that cheating is not an option. but after chatting for a while, the chemistry is really strong. If i were his gf I would be so pissed off. I really want to remain friends but don't want to be having an emotional affair, which i think is the case...... help. please.... Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted June 30, 2005 Share Posted June 30, 2005 It's just a matter of time before you become the other woman... just read some of the threads on this forum. By the way, they're all "unhappy" with their mates, but how many of them end the relationship before moving on? 0 Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted June 30, 2005 Share Posted June 30, 2005 Westernxer is right. They will not tell you that they are happy in their relationship, as they know they will not have a chance. And if you are unhappy in a relationship, there is no law in place that forces you to stay. Weak character, or being satisfied with the unhappiness (due to the many conveniences gf / wife gives) , are indicators that he is likely to stay. Why risk his convenience, especially if he can have the added convenience of an OW? Forget about the guy - or keep him at a good distance. Not until he is single and over the relationship (another stumbling block that is easily forgotten), you should consider becoming more involved with him. Link to post Share on other sites
ThumbingMyWay Posted June 30, 2005 Share Posted June 30, 2005 Originally posted by LilMsSingle I really want to remain friends but don't want to be having an emotional affair, which i think is the case...... help. please.... it will NEVER work out as being friends....I mean do you really think he is gonna tell his fiance, "hey here is a new female friend of mine"....nada, wont happen. You want help.....turn and run....end the great chemistry NOW.....cause it will only get harder to do as you get to know him more...... Link to post Share on other sites
SueBee3490 Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 I was the gf in the relationship and my fiance was cheating on me. Let me tell you to turn and run - he's no good. My bf cheated on me when all he had to do was leave as d'Arthez said. But he chose to stay with me and betray and cheat behind my back. Think of his fiance - would you want to be in her shoes? Look at his track record - do you think if he breaks up with her and dates you that he won't cheat on you? He won't change. so in the long run - you don't want a guy with his character. He's already shown he can cheat on his fiance. Find someone else - you will save yourself alot of heartache. SueBee Link to post Share on other sites
FolderWife Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 ha ha! You are me three years ago! ha ha! The man was engaged, but he PROMISED he'd dump her, because he hated her...he just had to find the right time to do it. So We were 'friends' for about two months, but the chemistry was too strong, and we ended up having an emotional and partly physical affair. He never left her. He ended up marrying her. Five months later, they filed for divorce. Comes out that she was cheating on him too. I dumped him two months before he got married. He kept putting off breaking up with her. The last straw was when he talked about shopping with his mom so she could buy a dress for the wedding. I looked him in the eye, and said, "You're going to marry her, aren't you." He said, "I can't let down my mom..." The moral of the story is, you need to end all contact with him. If he wants to break up with her, then he'll do it without you there. Tell him that you refuse to speak to him until he breaks up with her, because you can't watch him marry another woman. I thought that if he had me, he would have an excuse to leave her. I was dilusional. Don't fall into the same thing that I did. Try something different and see if it works Link to post Share on other sites
Iluvsiamese Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 All the advice on this is the real deal. Drop this guy as fast as you can. There will always be an excuse of some sort for him to continue on with both relationships. As long as you let him, and that's the key. Everyone has a choice, with the exception of the fiancee who probably doesn't know. Unless you want to be the "other woman" indefinitely or the one who gets cheated on or possibly both, then refuse to have anything to do with this man until he is free and over his present relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts