Broke up year ago, still feelings

[Copter]

Hi all,

 

A little more than a year ago, I broke up with my girlfriend. We were in a relationship for almost two years. However, I felt that my feelings were fading away. Now there were some complications in our relationship, we NEVER had a fight and our communication was very superficial (not sure whether it is the right word). We did not really talk about things that bothered us and were afraid to hurt each other by saying certain stuff that was on our minds. We also did not see each other very often due to very busy schedules.

 

Now, she was my first girlfriend, I was her second boyfriend. We kept in contact after the breakup, but only marginally. I dated a couple of other girls in between, but I never got the feeling with them as when I think about my ex. It may be because she was my first, in several aspects.. But I can't shake the feeling that, would we communicate better, make more time for each other, we could make it work.

 

Could anyone help me with his/her advice/story and help me clarify my feelings.

 

Thanks so much,

 

Copter

[mn12bird]

I can relate to some of what you may be experiencing. My ex was also my first girlfriend and our communication was definitely superficial as well. Anytime I tried talking to her about things that actually mattered she would shut down and give me the silent treatment. There were things I wanted to talk about with her but I was too afraid to rock the boat, just like you saying you didn't talk about things that bothered you due to being afraid of hurting eachother. We also never had a single fight.

 

Unlike you, however, I have been totally unable to forgive myself for messing things up with her and there is no way on Earth I would be able to date anyone right now whereas you have been dating since. She broke up with me, whereas it seems you broke up with your ex so I guess that's a bit different there. You chose to move on, so you did, but those feelings are still there.

 

And I do agree that we both may only have these lingering feelings due to that it was our first girlfriend, if we had more experience and more to draw on then maybe we'd see things more clearly. I don't know.

 

Anyway, hope that helps somehow.