Am I being too needy?

[LadyZ]

We met on an adult chat site about six years ago one that he was a 'model' snd I had to pay to see him. I don't usually frequent these types of sites but I was curious and his picture caught my attention. But after a while I was interested in knowing more about him other than his sexual side. So we exchanged emails and eventually phone numbers. We live in different countries (he lives in South America and I am in the US) and have a slight age difference. At first it was a very sexual attraction for us. But over the years we have become closer friends. We do tell eachother that we love one another which I feel very strongly about. We Skype when we can, send pictures, videos. We've been there for eachother through break ups, a divorce, unplanned pregnancies, deaths of family members, financial difficulties (mostly me sending money), depression. It has become increasingly difficult for him to connect with Skype or even through messaging. His daily work routine varies and he also has to travel to different places to hold classes. He is always working and hardly has time for me. I used to send pictures or videos but stopped because I felt it was unfair I was the only one doing this. And when I expressed this to him he says his phone doesn't take good pictures and he doesn't have the data or wifi. The only interaction we seem to have regularly is me sending money almost every two weeks. I have told him this bothers me and I feel neglected. He does send me messages here and there wanting to know how I am doing but that is about it. We had a very big argument last night. He said I was insulting him by saying he was only with me for my money. I had asked him if I never gave him money would be still feel the same about me but he only got made and accused me of only helping him out of pity. I told him when you love someone you do whatever you can to make them happy. I don't like that he always needs Mo ey but I do what I can and much more. There was no reply aftr that. I am very confused and I do t know if I was wrong to say those things. I care for him a lot but I am unsure if he feels the same about me. What do I do??

[Nowty V]

Stop sending him your hard earned money.

 

and then

 

Stop sending him your hard earned money

 

If he has any respect for you this won't matter.

 

just tell him you can't do it any more.

 

and then

 

Stop sending him money.

 

Visit LS more often and feel the love

[ExpatInItaly]

OP, can you not see you are being used?

 

You're his ATM. Sorry girl, but he does not love you. He loves your money.

 

Stop sending it!

[GorillaTheater]

If you're sending money to some guy every two weeks (how much are we talking about, here?) that I doubt you've met in exchange for whatever paltry amount of attention he can spare you then yeah, you're probably being too needy.

 

 

Stop being played for a chump.

[Zahara]

I'm sure you're not the only woman he talks to and gets money from. Stop being so gullible. I'm sure he kept up with "being there for you" in order to keep the cash coming in.

 

Needy? You've become very much dependent on an online fantasy with a man that uses you for money.

[Nowty V]

But over the years we have become closer friends.

 

Did you ever meet in real life?

 

I'm in the UK, you can come here any time and people will be there for you.

 

They most definitely won't ask you for money.

[Satu]

This guy is exploiting you by taking advantage of your kind nature.

 

Send him no more money.

 

 

Take care.

[justwhoiam]

Hi LadyZ,

 

Welcome to LS.

 

I'm not sure what you're complaining about exactly regarding your South American long-distance/virtual gigolo?

 

Has the expense become too much for you? Then just discontinue it.

That might be difficult for you to do, if you got addicted to him. If that's the case, ask for help to get out of your addiction.

 

Good luck

[Lois_Griffin]

We met on an adult chat site about six years ago one that he was a 'model' snd I had to pay to see him.

LOL. Women ACTUALLY pay to see men online? Since I got my first computer I've spent a lifetime avoiding mouth-breathing men who were looking for a cheap thrill online with any woman who'd give them the time of day. I couldn't imagine paying ANY man to talk to him.

 

...financial difficulties (mostly me sending money), depression.

Well, once an online gigolo, always an online gigolo, I guess. I wonder how many OTHER women he's scamming out of money? Probably quite a few.

 

It has become increasingly difficult for him to connect with Skype or even through messaging. His daily work routine varies and he also has to travel to different places to hold classes. He is always working and hardly has time for me.

So.....he's this ambitious, hardworking guy yet needs YOU to send him money?

 

You're being scammed.

 

The only interaction we seem to have regularly is me sending money almost every two weeks. I have told him this bothers me and I feel neglected.

You're not a victim. You're a volunteer. You have to be pretty foolish to be sending some online Lothario tons of money when he's telling you he's too busy to talk to you because he WORKS so hard. Stop being foolish.

I told him when you love someone you do whatever you can to make them happy.

You may 'love' someone you never met, but the only ting HE 'loves' is your gullibility in sending him money. He's got quite the operation going on down there. I wonder what he's pulling in from the other foolish girls he's managed to scam online besides you?

 

I suggest you do something WORTHY with the money you're throwing away to Enrico Suave down in some 3rd world country. Use it to further your education or donate it to a local animal shelter. I guarantee you it will be better used ANYWHERE else than in the hands of this scammer.

 

I repeat. Stop being foolish.

[Cherryz]

You cant say you love someone that you barely know and also in such short period of time.And also never saw in real. Love is something that CAN grow with time.

But most of the time people are just inlove or like each-other but say they love each-other.

Start love yourself first, before you try to love others.

 

This guy may have liked you just in the beginning, or maybe just your body.

But now he dont even like you much but using you for money.

 

Beside its already a bad start to start things based on sex( or sex sites , sex attraction)etc.

 

Stop sending him money and stop this emotional "relationship" you have with him.

And invest your money in some christian dating books, and self esteem books.

And save some for your future dreams.

If you want a bf, go in your city and socialize and meet people and if it click with someone, the guy will chase you himself.

 

 

Sex confuse

[Cherryz]

.........Sex confuse people when its done in the wrong situations.

[clmckenzie]

Omg, my heart breaks for you, like in a thousand pieces.

 

I think you are being scammed. You are not alone. There are thousands of people who are in love by these people who are using them for their money.

 

Please, stop what you are doing. You are being used.

I am so sorry.

[Little Bird]

Oh dear,

You are being taken advantage of. This guy does not care about you if he is asking for money every 2 weeks. He is scamming you, and you are paying for an online relationship and nothing more.

[oasis]

This screams "scammer"! No respectable man who professes to love a woman would continuously accept money from them.

 

He is blatantly using you. For him, it's "no money no love".

 

Is this what you want in a relationship?

[skydiveaddict]

We met on an adult chat site about six years ago one that he was a 'model' snd I had to pay to see him.

 

And you're seriously asking this question?