It's not that complicated for guys. Don't listen to false hope from women

[NewLeaf512]

Also, and this is not uncommon...

 

I have known not only relationships, but marriages to have started when a man was persistent enough with the unrequited.

 

I recall meeting a woman that showed up with her new boyfriend at a party. She said he must've asked her out 4 times before she said "Yes" and viola!

 

They're dating!

 

Usually it was in situations when they saw each other frequently at say a college campus/class, gym or through outings at social circles.

 

He'd make attempts at getting her to go out with him, only to blow him off and such here and there, until finally he , I guess, "charmed" her enough to get her to go out with him.

 

And full relationships HAVE developed from there.

 

I hear women say they actually have not returned 1st phone calls from men, to see if they'll call them again to see if their intentions are genuine.

 

They think if a man gives up too easily, then he's not worth dating and not relationship material if he gives up easily.

 

When I hear these stories, I think to myself, "Man, have I been doing this wrong? Giving up after one voicemail left?" lol

 

That is because he wore the woman down to a nub and she gave in. Why would anyone want to marry a person they had to harrass to death to get them to get married?

[NewLeaf512]

Also, and this is not uncommon...

 

I have known not only relationships, but marriages to have started when a man was persistent enough with the unrequited.

 

I recall meeting a woman that showed up with her new boyfriend at a party. She said he must've asked her out 4 times before she said "Yes" and viola!

 

They're dating!

 

Usually it was in situations when they saw each other frequently at say a college campus/class, gym or through outings at social circles.

 

He'd make attempts at getting her to go out with him, only to blow him off and such here and there, until finally he , I guess, "charmed" her enough to get her to go out with him.

 

And full relationships HAVE developed from there.

 

I hear women say they actually have not returned 1st phone calls from men, to see if they'll call them again to see if their intentions are genuine.

 

They think if a man gives up too easily, then he's not worth dating and not relationship material if he gives up easily.

 

When I hear these stories, I think to myself, "Man, have I been doing this wrong? Giving up after one voicemail left?" lol

 

You are doing what it seems to be of great interest to you, obsessing over every permutation of why and how to : 1. Get dates 2. How others get dates 3. Why you don't get dates 4. Geography as it relates to being successful in getting dates 6. If height affects ability to get dates 7. The success rate of getting a date broken out by 7a. Age 7b. Race 7c. Weight 7d. Dating site used 7e. Profile photo type 7f. Profile Text contents (I could go on) 8. What women REALLY mean when you do not like what they actually mean 9. Methods of approaching women and all the permutations of that 10. Making this list is doing my head in because I could go on to 100 (maybe more)

 

It seems like: you want a date (I am hoping with someone who likes you instead of someone you had to chase down/ drive crazy with advances until they give in)

 

That seems to be a reasonable thing to want. You've mentioned some where in another thread you have a job.

 

To be successful at something you need to actually do it (I.e. I want to be great at tennis but sitting here in my office writing about my interest in the game isn't going to make me successful at that) so by now you have collected probably more raw data than you'd need for a dissertation, so I offer this. You have data yet you aren't happy with it so you pick it apart to meet your view. That's not going to help you learn anything. Here is some imperial data (math). Perhaps this will point something out to you.

 

Inputs: Time (t). 40 hour work week (w) 5 hours a week commute © 56 hours of sleep weekly (s) 20 hours a week for showering, cooking, eating (p) 4 hours a week for grocery shop, commute there, getting petrol in your car, washing car, trip to bank/ cash point (e)

 

Hours in a 7 day week: 168

Minus t, w, c, s, p, e. : 123

------

45

 

So generously that gives you probably a maximum amount of time to date if you do nothing else socially or even get a hair cut, go shopping, mow your lawn etc. However we have some data about your hobby of discussing all things relating to dating here (and there may be other places)

From Nov 2014 to today 92 weeks have passed during which you have posted 2739 times. Assuming an average posting time of 10 minutes because your posts are lengthy

 

29.7 posts per week on average we will round to 30) 300 min or 5 hours just posting. Let's use a variable of 10 hours for reading posts = 15 hours a week

 

 

Available time to find dates : 30 hours

 

You use dating sites so you likely check them and read and respond to profiles etc. Let's use a v of 10 hours per week.

 

20 hours for actual dating.

 

I suspect that in fact you also: go to the gym. Talk on the phone. See family occassionally. Holiday shop. Your commuting time is probably longer and you seem to be American so you may work more than 40 hours.

 

Perhaps to be successful you could use some of the 15 hours you spend discussing dating at length here and turn your efforts to actually dating which may be more productive in your endeavour.

[Toodaloo]

True. But it's a unicorn chance with most men.

 

Only happened once in my life time, otherwise the women that did go out with me went out with me because I asked them out.

 

So did you go out with her?

[LookAtThisPOst]

You are doing what it seems to be of great interest to you, obsessing over every permutation of why and how to : 1. Get dates 2. How others get dates 3. Why you don't get dates 4. Geography as it relates to being successful in getting dates 6. If height affects ability to get dates 7. The success rate of getting a date broken out by 7a. Age 7b. Race 7c. Weight 7d. Dating site used 7e. Profile photo type 7f. Profile Text contents (I could go on) 8. What women REALLY mean when you do not like what they actually mean 9. Methods of approaching women and all the permutations of that 10. Making this list is doing my head in because I could go on to 100 (maybe more)

 

It seems like: you want a date (I am hoping with someone who likes you instead of someone you had to chase down/ drive crazy with advances until they give in)

 

That seems to be a reasonable thing to want. You've mentioned some where in another thread you have a job.

 

To be successful at something you need to actually do it (I.e. I want to be great at tennis but sitting here in my office writing about my interest in the game isn't going to make me successful at that) so by now you have collected probably more raw data than you'd need for a dissertation, so I offer this. You have data yet you aren't happy with it so you pick it apart to meet your view. That's not going to help you learn anything. Here is some imperial data (math). Perhaps this will point something out to you.

 

Inputs: Time (t). 40 hour work week (w) 5 hours a week commute © 56 hours of sleep weekly (s) 20 hours a week for showering, cooking, eating (p) 4 hours a week for grocery shop, commute there, getting petrol in your car, washing car, trip to bank/ cash point (e)

 

Hours in a 7 day week: 168

Minus t, w, c, s, p, e. : 123

------

45

 

So generously that gives you probably a maximum amount of time to date if you do nothing else socially or even get a hair cut, go shopping, mow your lawn etc. However we have some data about your hobby of discussing all things relating to dating here (and there may be other places)

From Nov 2014 to today 92 weeks have passed during which you have posted 2739 times. Assuming an average posting time of 10 minutes because your posts are lengthy

 

29.7 posts per week on average we will round to 30) 300 min or 5 hours just posting. Let's use a variable of 10 hours for reading posts = 15 hours a week

 

 

Available time to find dates : 30 hours

 

You use dating sites so you likely check them and read and respond to profiles etc. Let's use a v of 10 hours per week.

 

20 hours for actual dating.

 

I suspect that in fact you also: go to the gym. Talk on the phone. See family occassionally. Holiday shop. Your commuting time is probably longer and you seem to be American so you may work more than 40 hours.

 

Perhaps to be successful you could use some of the 15 hours you spend discussing dating at length here and turn your efforts to actually dating which may be more productive in your endeavour.

 

 

Pot calling kettle black...if you did the math on everyone here, you'd probably get some kind of number of the "amount of time getting out there." Guess you decided to single me out here, which really...is just derailing the topic and singling me out. I attend Meetup functions and other events. In fact, I am going to a BBQ party and there will be ladies there to talk to. Went to the beach with some friends last weekend.

[LookAtThisPOst]

So did you go out with her?

 

I sure did. ;-) I was floored when SHE did the asking...I was very close to asking her, but she beat me to it. lol

[NewLeaf512]

Pot calling kettle black...if you did the math on everyone here, you'd probably get some kind of number of the "amount of time getting out there." Guess you decided to single me out here, which really...is just derailing the topic and singling me out. I attend Meetup functions and other events. In fact, I am going to a BBQ party and there will be ladies there to talk to. Went to the beach with some friends last weekend.

 

I'm not sure how pot calling the kettle black here applies. I'm not desperately looking for a date or obsessing about the minuate of dating.

 

This is related to the OP as I am confirming and agreeing with what he said which is : it isn't this bloody complicated.

 

I used your post as the example because you are one of the prolific posters on the subject on this forum.

 

Of course there are many people who calculate out the same way but gosh why make this the subject of a PhD dissertation ? You probably are a nice and datable person but man, get off the cross and just get out there and meet people, someone else needs the wood.

[mixeypixey]

just keep chasing bro. you might get lucky, but dont be so forceful about it. anyways if it doesnt work out then just fk it and go for someone else. unless you really love her then maybe thats different. is wht i would say

 

I am a guy. I am 33 years old. I am Asian but that may or may not be a factor.

 

All the advice that guys seek in this forum about woman's intention. I feel like we've lost a lot of common sense.

 

I just want to bring up this simple analogy. Have you ever had an experience in your life in which a woman was interested in you? It doesn't matter how fat or ugly or how unattractive she was. She was interested in you for whatever reason. Do you remember how direct she was about it?

 

Well the same principle works with pretty girls. If that pretty girl you're interested in felt the same way, she would find some way to let you know. You see, girls, especially pretty girls, have no idea about the nuances about "faking interest" or any of the stupid games we guys play with girls we're interested in. When a girl is interested in a guy, she'll be very straightforward. That's especially prevalent in this day and age where girls on average are more independent financially and better educated than most men. She will LET YOU KNOW SOMEHOW.

 

So if you're getting any type of "resistance" from that pretty girl you're interested in, chances are that she's just not interested. She may appear to be on the fence and you may hold out hope but most girls when they're attracted to a guy, there is little to no hesitation on her part.

 

It works very much like you. If you're interested in a girl, there's very little hesitation on your part. I'm sure no matter how fat or ugly or short you are, at some point in your life, you've had a girl who was into you. Do you remember how she acted? How easy it was to get her? How easy it was to get her into your bed and have sex with her? It's not any different with pretty/hot girls. It's just that you're not on their level and they're not attracted to you so you're encountering resistance.

 

I can promise you that if you were an attractive guy, you'd lay those pretty/hot girls just as easily as you lay those unattractive girls in your life.

 

It's as simple as that. I don't know why this forum tries to complicate things by trying to give some false hope. Sure there are exceptions that apply to 1% but not to the majority. But the internet and the media has a way of giving you false hope by giving you examples of the exception, hence that 1%.

 

It doesn't work that way. Please use your common sense.

 

If a girl likes you, then she likes you and she will let you know. If she isn't, then she just isn't and you should just move on. Even if it means moving onto a lonely life while watching her get ravaged by some douchebag.

 

That's just how the world works. It sucks. But don't over complicate things. That is all.

[Toodaloo]

I'm not sure how pot calling the kettle black here applies. I'm not desperately looking for a date or obsessing about the minuate of dating.

 

This is related to the OP as I am confirming and agreeing with what he said which is : it isn't this bloody complicated.

 

I used your post as the example because you are one of the prolific posters on the subject on this forum.

 

Of course there are many people who calculate out the same way but gosh why make this the subject of a PhD dissertation ? You probably are a nice and datable person but man, get off the cross and just get out there and meet people, someone else needs the wood.

 

You have to admit she does have a point...

 

Perhaps if you got out there another woman may ask you out!!

[Shining One]

Why would anyone fake interest?

People feign interest for personal gain. Typically, men do it for sex. Women do it for financial benefits. Both do it for ego boosts. There are lots of other reasons too, but these are common.

[Haydn]

People feign interest for personal gain. Typically, men do it for sex. Women do it for financial benefits. Both do it for ego boosts. There are lots of other reasons too, but these are common.

 

It`s very important for me to fancy a girl, whom i`d like to have sex with.....(At some point in the future.)

 

I need to hold hands a lot.

 

And gaze at her in awe whenever she smiles. With my hands cupping my chin.

 

That first kiss....

 

The 2nd kiss......

 

Back to the Trump thread....

 

Sex for sex`s sake has never worked for me. (But by god the chances;)

[Inflikted]

I just want to bring up this simple analogy. Have you ever had an experience in your life in which a woman was interested in you? It doesn't matter how fat or ugly or how unattractive she was.

 

What if the answer to that question is no? What if I happen to be such an unappealing waste of life that I can't relate in any way to this analogy?

[Revolver]

I agree with the straight forward thing. I never get hit on but in the case of my best friend and my older brother women are extremely aggressive with them. There's no games being played no tricks or tests.