KathL Posted August 4, 2016 Share Posted August 4, 2016 (edited) Turning 28 y/o this weekend My new date stopped initiating contact for more than a week, suspected its a case of him fading me Feeling so depressed now, tempted to go back in touch with my ex-MM.. I have exactly the return tickets to his city this weekend Or, tempted to start going on Tinder then hook up with some random dude.. at least I would have someone for the night.. I know I will do just fine during the day, but night times are horrible.. I have promised myself not to drink until black out How do I love myself more? I know I'm pretty and good in bed. Men always told me that but I always seem to associate my confidence with the men I'm involved with and our intimacy together. Don't tell me to go out, have fun with friends so on and so forth.. although I admit I live a kinda quiet and isolated life after work, I did try socializing but end of the day, it still didn't substitute the longing and emptiness I'm feeling.. Edited August 4, 2016 by KathL Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted August 4, 2016 Share Posted August 4, 2016 Turning 28 y/o this weekend My new date stopped initiating contact for more than a week, suspected its a case of him fading me Feeling so depressed now, tempted to go back in touch with my ex-MM.. I have exactly the return tickets to his city this weekend Or, tempted to start going on Tinder then hook up with some random dude.. at least I would have someone for the night.. I know I will do just fine during the day, but night times are horrible.. I have promised myself not to drink until black out How do I love myself more? I know I'm pretty and good in bed. Men always told me that but I always seem to associate my confidence with the men I'm involved with and our intimacy together. Don't tell me to go out, have fun with friends so on and so forth.. although I admit I live a kinda quiet and isolated life after work, I did try socializing but end of the day, it still didn't substitute the longing and emptiness I'm feeling.. I'm not going to tell you to go out especially with the frame of mind you are in now. Intimacy with men does not make "the woman". If I were you, I would stop focusing on dating and having a man and focus on YOU and filling your life with, well, life. Find hobbies, try something new, try tons of things till you find something you can have a passion for. I love photography, for instance. On nice sunny days, I go out, drive around looking for landscape/nature subjects to photograph and at night, I go through the pictures, tweak them, print the ones I really like especially if they are frameable. I view it like going fishing Join a club or a bowling league maybe a charity organization. Something that gets you out and in a social environment. How do I love myself more? -- Get to know yourself better and do nice things for yourself. Go out and buy yourself something you've always wanted without going overboard or becoming a shop a holic Or take a trip somewhere. Learn to embrace yourself and your freedom. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted August 4, 2016 Share Posted August 4, 2016 It may not be great to hear but life isn't always a barrel of monkeys. You'll have great times and you'll have not-so-great times. That's life. But do yourself a favor and don't get back on the MM merry-go-round whatever you do. You need to find your center and stop relying on men in the way that you do. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sam light Posted August 4, 2016 Share Posted August 4, 2016 Happy Birthday kid! Life has it's phases, you'll see plenty of them. The EX MM plan is trouble. I'd say try to stop defining your life by who you are/are not dating. Read a book, clean house, take a walk, exercise, eat a treat, polish the spoons, polish the cat. Early on your Birthday, curl up with a blanket and a hot cup of coco. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KathL Posted August 4, 2016 Author Share Posted August 4, 2016 Thanks for the replies and kind words, I'm feeling better now. I guess its just one of the phases in life I have to deal with and come out stronger. Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted August 4, 2016 Share Posted August 4, 2016 Being left is going to hurt at anytime, but over your birthday will cause further heartache. It's like having a trigger right in your face that you can't escape from. Sadly that means a random hook-up or meeting another ex won't really take away the pain, just mask it for a short time. Once the fun is over, the pain will come flooding back. As tough as it seems, you have to work through it yourself. Yeah, sucks being alone on your birthday right now, but face it head on and charge through it. If you don't fancy seeing friends, then get shed loads of Ben and Jerrys, a large pizza, bottle of rum or six and put on a cheesy film you like. Life hurts at times but that helps us to appreciate when it's really good, and it will get good again for you soon. Happy Birthday too. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted August 4, 2016 Share Posted August 4, 2016 Don't you have friends? Buggar being on your own why not sign up to a dance class or something fun. Challenge yourself and try something new. Being pretty and giving good head means jack all when you are old and your looks have faded and men can't get it up any more to be able to enjoy the delights of a blowy... Guys are not so stupid that they don't know this... Quit valuing yourself in sexual terms. Use your brain and develop your personality... That way you will start to find your value and in doing so start valuing yourself more. For goodness sake go out and make some decent friends though. Sounds to me as though you are using sex to get by because you feel lonely... Sounds harsh I know but if you carry on like this you are going to end up in a far worse pickle than just being on your own on your birthday... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Springsummer Posted August 4, 2016 Share Posted August 4, 2016 Intimacy with men does not make "the woman". If I were you, I would stop focusing on dating and having a man and focus on YOU and filling your life with, well, life. Find hobbies, try something new, try tons of things till you find something you can have a passion for. I love photography, for instance. On nice sunny days, I go out, drive around looking for landscape/nature subjects to photograph and at night, I go through the pictures, tweak them, print the ones I really like especially if they are frameable. I view it like going fishing Join a club or a bowling league maybe a charity organization. Something that gets you out and in a social environment. How do I love myself more? -- Get to know yourself better and do nice things for yourself. Go out and buy yourself something you've always wanted without going overboard or becoming a shop a holic Or take a trip somewhere. Learn to embrace yourself and your freedom. This! Yes, we must not depend on others for our happiness. Link to post Share on other sites
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