live.laugh.love Posted August 4, 2016 Share Posted August 4, 2016 Hey y'all, i recently came into some trouble and i need your help. Basically, this is what happened: the other night, my long-distance boyfriend of one year and four months, who I am madly in love with, were face-timing. It was about 3 AM and he got a text, and then several texts again. I asked him who it was, and he immediately answered one of his friends who is a guy. But here's the thing: my boyfriend has talked about this friend of his, let's call him Jay, and says that he is in medical school and sleeps early.. so I know it wasn't Jay who texted him? Anyway, I made him send me a screenshot of who texted him and sure enough the contact said "Jay," but how can I be sure that he isn't just hiding some girl under that contact name?? I wanted him to send me a screenshot of the actual texts, but then he made me feel like I was being crazy and "trying to invade his privacy." Please help me out.. this is the man I was wanting to marry and start a life with.. I just don't know if I'm overreacting or if this is truly a red flag I need to be aware of? sincerely, me Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted August 4, 2016 Share Posted August 4, 2016 LDRs require trust. Lots of it. You clearly don't trust him. Maybe you are right not to trust him, maybe wrong. I don't know. But rightly or wrongly, you don't trust him, and without trust an LDR is not going to work. Have you actually met him or is it purely LDR? How often have/do you meet? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 4, 2016 Share Posted August 4, 2016 Why don't you trust him? There must have been some reason this immediately put your antennae up - have there been issues before? Link to post Share on other sites
kgcolonel Posted August 4, 2016 Share Posted August 4, 2016 How old are you? Unless there is a history of cheating, you're either very insecure, immature or he's not worthy of your devotion....you need to decide which one. The fact that you state that "this is the man you WANTED to marry suggests that you're also impulsive and he is convicted prior to being found guilty. Might be time to step back and do some self evaluation. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 4, 2016 Share Posted August 4, 2016 If you need to demand screen shots, you shouldn't be in a LDR at all. Almost a year and a half is waaaaaaay too long to be in a LDR. The honeymoon phase is or almost over, and in order to keep that deep connection, one of you is going to need to relocate real soon..... Time is a ticking on your relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
jellybean824 Posted August 4, 2016 Share Posted August 4, 2016 Long distance relationships are tough in the best of circumstances. Add an element of mistrust, and things get even more complicated. You mentioned making this a permanent thing, as in getting married. Is there a reason that hasn't happened yet? Have you talked with your bf about getting married? It may be time to really sit down and discuss time frames with him. Any relationship needs trust, and as long as that is lacking, the relationship will suffer. Has there been any reason to mistrust him? If not, then I would take him at his word for now. If so, it may be time to consider some relationship counseling to sort through these issues. Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted August 4, 2016 Share Posted August 4, 2016 Did you live closer before the LDR? How much actual time do you spend together? Jay may have been up late that night, but before you talk marriage you should live closer. Or this could end up not working out. Link to post Share on other sites
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