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My ex lives with his gf and I found out through my kids


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I left my husband about 1 year now. I moved out of state to be back with my family. He stayed out there having his fun for over 6 months. He rarely called our kids. He got a gf back here and moved back for her in January. My kids came back from spending the weekend and they told me they saw them both acting sexually on a bed and they slept on a recliner, both of them! I got some documents from my lawyer saying that he lives with her and is supporting her and her kids. I'm just digested. I don't care that he has a gf. I'm more worried about my kids. And I'm upset that he hasn't had the decency to tell me my kids will now be living with her when they're with him and I haven't even met this women.

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PegNosePete

Unless this woman is a danger to the kids (drug addict, criminal record etc) then there's not a lot you can do about it. It's his business who he shares his house with, who he supports with his money, and who he tells about it. He doesn't need your permission or approval and has no obligation to tell you. Although you got a letter from your lawyer so the news has been propagated to official channels..?

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Pegnose hit it right on....in the states. Also, unless you can convince the court that they are in a harmful environment, which is a difficult task in itself, you have no hope of controlling the environment they are in during his parenting time. In either case, it is gonna cost you plenty.

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The above folks are right in what they say. At least he is your ex. I am going through divorce and just found out the wife has been having an affair for over a year. As long as she is no danger to the kids don't worry. Do however record everything they say about what she is doing when they come home so you have a record if they say hey mom daddy's girlfriend is really funny when she is main lining heroin or whatever.

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In my experience serving in the court on behalf of children, unless the children are found by a CPS investigation to be abused physically, sexually or neglected there is not jack that will be done. You will just drive your self crazed trying to get bad parenting changed by legal means. That will also mean the kids will be going through a CPS investigation.

 

By the way my motivation for getting involved in the court system to help children was my Ex was a piss poor mother. I feel your pain and concern. I lived it for many years.

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Hi,

Unfortunately CPS had to get involved. Everyone is correct I can't change a thing. CPS told my ex to not bring my kids around her while under investigation but he decided to move in with her. I am very happy, my life is amazing. But I worry for my sons a lot. In my perfect world I would love to be my exs friend and whom ever he ends up with.

 

Dos I read correctly, you work for CPS? If you do, thanks for all that you do

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I wonder if the courts would mandate that the kids have regular beds to sleep in so as to continue as normal a life as possible.

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Hi,

Unfortunately CPS had to get involved. Everyone is correct I can't change a thing. CPS told my ex to not bring my kids around her while under investigation but he decided to move in with her.

 

Without a court order signed by a judge, their discussion with him has little legal standing.

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They already did. In the court order

 

So let me get this straight...there is a court order telling him to keep the children away from this person?

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So let me get this straight...there is a court order telling him to keep the children away from this person?

 

Only during the investigation, if I read right.

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Hi,

Unfortunately CPS had to get involved. Everyone is correct I can't change a thing. CPS told my ex to not bring my kids around her while under investigation but he decided to move in with her. I am very happy, my life is amazing. But I worry for my sons a lot. In my perfect world I would love to be my exs friend and whom ever he ends up with.

 

Dos I read correctly, you work for CPS? If you do, thanks for all that you do

 

I was a Court appointed child advocate working at the judges discretion. Basically investigated the childs situation which always led into background of the parents as well. Then made recommendations to the Court. Kids get so lost in the system and have no voice. For my cases I was their voice directly to the judge.

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