sandylee1 Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 Your meeting with her went as I expected, but you felt you needed to go. At least now you know. What she's not saying, is she wants to be free to date others guys and if she clicks with one, your history. If not she'll come back to you as a safe bet l and it shouldn't take that long too fast forward to marriage with you as you know each other already. Block contact and continue with your therapy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tart6245 Posted August 13, 2016 Author Share Posted August 13, 2016 Your meeting with her went as I expected, but you felt you needed to go. At least now you know. What she's not saying, is she wants to be free to date others guys and if she clicks with one, your history. If not she'll come back to you as a safe bet l and it shouldn't take that long too fast forward to marriage with you as you know each other already. Block contact and continue with your therapy. Yep. That's what I'm doing. It's obvious she wants me around just in case, but she's definitely wanting to try to date others and see where it goes. I can't imagine why else she'd want me to not cut her out of my life except to keep me as a backup if she fails to find anyone else long term. That's not going to work for me. Her argument that this city wasn't big and shed run into me again and we'd naturally reconnect was just bizarre too. She repeated that over and over. Even if we did, why would I even try to speak or talk to her? That's a weird reason to argue for not cutting contact Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 Yep. That's what I'm doing. It's obvious she wants me around just in case, but she's definitely wanting to try to date others and see where it goes. I can't imagine why else she'd want me to not cut her out of my life except to keep me as a backup if she fails to find anyone else long term. That's not going to work for me. Her argument that this city wasn't big and shed run into me again and we'd naturally reconnect was just bizarre too. She repeated that over and over. Even if we did, why would I even try to speak or talk to her? That's a weird reason to argue for not cutting contact It's an excuse to keep you under her thumb. I mean, I have an ex who has lived within a mile-and-a-half of me for roughly a year. Do you know how many times I've run into her unplanned? Twice. And when it happens, it's whatever. While I'm way since recovered and have no interest in her, the odds of it happening that often aren't great unless you guys are trying to "bump" into each other. She just wants the control. She controlled breaking up with you and wants to control the post-breakup so she always has the upper hand. It's not necessarily to be devious, but there's a sense of comfort that comes from knowing that you're in the background pining for her. If you are out of contact, then she really has to deal with the full ramifications of the decision that she made. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 Yep. That's what I'm doing. It's obvious she wants me around just in case, but she's definitely wanting to try to date others and see where it goes. I can't imagine why else she'd want me to not cut her out of my life except to keep me as a backup if she fails to find anyone else long term. That's not going to work for me. Her argument that this city wasn't big and shed run into me again and we'd naturally reconnect was just bizarre too. She repeated that over and over. Even if we did, why would I even try to speak or talk to her? That's a weird reason to argue for not cutting contact Because she sees you as a 'bitch',beta,whatever you want to call it.. Move on and stop talking to her, for your own well being. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tart6245 Posted August 15, 2016 Author Share Posted August 15, 2016 I'm not talking to her anymore. If she decides she wants to give it another shot in the future, she knows how to find me. Im moving on now. I feel better knowing what I need to do. Even if she tries to run into me, I doubt I'll even say anything to her. Im not obligated to do that. Link to post Share on other sites
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